Ansuer 3. May not your submissive carriage under the rod pro- voke GvA to hide his face from you. Pray consider it well, nothing is more probable thnn for this to be the cause of God's M'ithdrawment from you. Could you, in meekness and quietness, receive that cup
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your Father hath given you to drink ; accept the punishment of your iniquities ; say, Good is the word of the Lord, It is the Lord, let him do what he will : You would soon find the case altered with you ; but the comfortmg spirit finds no delight, or rest, in a turbulent and tumultuous breast.
And thus I have satisfied the most considerable pleas urged, in justification of our excesses.
4. I come now to the last thing proposed, namely, the means of curing and preventing these sinful excesses of sorrow for the death of our dear relations.
And, although much hath been said already to dissuade from this evil, and I have enlarged already much beyond my first intention ; yet I shall cast in some farther help and assistance towards the heal- ing of this distemper, by prescribing the following rules :
Rule 1. If you would not mourn excessively Jbr the loss of crea- ture-comforts, then beware that you set not your delight and love ex- cessively, or inordinately upon them, whilst you do enjoy them.
Strong aff^ections make strong afflictions ; the higher the tide the lower the ebb. According to the measure of our delight in the en- joyment, is our grief in the loss of these things. The apostle knits these two graces, temperance and patience, together in the precept 9. Pet. i. 16. and it is very observable how intemperance and impa- tience are inseparably linked in experience, yea, the experience of the best men. You read, Gen. xxxvii. 3. " Now Israel loved " Joseph more than all his children, because lie was the son of his '' old age ; and made him a coat of many colours.''
This was the darling ; Jacob's heart was so exceedingly set upon him, his very life was bound up in the life of the lad. Now when the supposed death of the child was brought to him, how did he carry it ? See ver. 34, 35. " And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sack- " cloth upon his loins ; and mourned for his son many days : And " all his sons, and all his daughters, rose up to comfort him, but he " refused to be comforted. And he said, for I will go down into the " grave to my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him."
Here, as in a glass, are the effects of excessive love to a child represented : Here you may see what work immoderate love will make, even in a sanctified heart.
O therefore let your moderation be known to all men, in your delight and sorrows about earthly things ; for ordinarily the propor- tion of the one is answerable to the other.
Rule 2. If you ivould not be overwhelmed with grief for the loss of your relations, be exact and careful in discharging your duties to them while you have them.
The testimony of your conscience, that you have laboured in all things to discharge the duties you owed to your relations whilst they were with you, will prove an excellent allay to your sorrows for them when they are no longer yours. It is not so much the single
664? A TOKEN FOR MOURNEHS.
affliction, as the guilt charged upon us in times of affliction, that makes our load so heavy.
O what a terrible thing is it to look upon our dead friends, whilst conscience is accusing and upbraiding us for our duties neglected, and such or such sins committed ? O you little think how dreadful a spectacle this will make the dead body of thy friend to thee !
Conscience, if not quite stupid or dead, will speak at such a time. O therefore, as ever you would provide for a comfortable parting at death, or meet again at judgment ; be exact, punctual, and circum- spect, in all your relative duties.
Rule 3. If you would not he overwhelmed by trouble^ for the loss of dear 7'elations, then turn to God under your trouble, and pour out your sorrows, by prvyer, into his bosom.
This will ease and allay your troubles. Blessed be Grod for the or- dinance of prayer ; how much are all the saints beholden to k, at all times, but especially in heart-sinking and distressful times ? It is some relief, when in distress, we can pour out our trouble hito the bosom of a wife, or faithful friend ; how much more when we leave our complaint before the gracious, wise, and faithful God ? I told you before of that holy man, who having lost his dear and only son, got to his closet, there poured out his soul freely to the Lord, and when he came down to his friends that were waiting below to comfort him, and fearing how he would bear that stroke, he came from his duty with a cheerful countenance, telling them he would be content to bury a son, if it were possible every day, provided he might enjoy such comfort as his soul had found in tliat private hour.
Go thy way, Christian, to thy God, get thee to thy knees in the cloudy and dark day ; retire from all creatures, that thou mayest have thy full liberty with thy God, and there pour out thy heart be- fore him, in free, full, and broken-hearted confessions of sin : Judge thyself worthy of hell, as well as of this trouble ; justify God in all his smartest strokes ; beg him, in this distress, to put under the ever- lasting arms ; intreat one smile, one gracious look, to enlighten thy darkness, and cheer thy drooping spirit. Say with the prophet, Jer. xvii. 17. " Be thou not a terror to me ; thou art my hope in the day " of evil.'' And try what relief such a course will afford thee. Sure- ly, if thy heart be sincere in this course, thou shalt be able to say with that holy man. Psalm xciv. 29. " In the multitude of my thoughts '• which I had within me, thy comforts have delighted ray soul."
Rule 4. If you would hear the loss of your dear relations with mo- deration, eye God in the whole process of the affliction more, and se- condary causes and circumstances of the matter less.
" I was dumb, I opened not my mouth, because thou didst it,'* Psalm xxxix. 9. Consider the hand of the Lord in the whole matter : And that.
First, As a sovereign hand, which hath right to dispose of thee, and all thy comforts, without thy leave or consent. Job xxiii. 13.
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Secondli/i As a father's hand correcting thee in love and faithful- ness. Prov. iii. 11. "Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth, as a *' father the son in whom he delighteth."" O if once you could but see affliction as a rod in a father's hand, proceeding from his love, and intended for your eternal good ; how quiet would you then be ?
And surely if it draws your heart nearer to God, and mortifies it more to this vain world, it is a rod in the hand of special love: If it end in your love to God, doubt not but it comes from God's love to you.