[5.] Fifthly and lastly, I answer, that if you will not seek after the Lord to he your poiiion till you are worthy to enjoy him as your portion, then you will never seek after him, then you will n^ever enjoy him for your God and portion. Personal worthiness is no flower that grows in nature's garden. No man is born with a worthiness in his heart, as he is bom with a tongue in his mouth, It is not the full, but the empty ; it is not the rich, but the poor in spirit ; it is not the right- eous, but the sinner ; it is not the worthy, but the unworthy soul, that is the proper object of mercy and pity. The poor publican that cried out, 'Lord, be merciful to me a sinner,' Luke xviiL 10-15, went home justified, when the thank-God pharisee returned as proud as he came. The centurion, when he came to Christ, sped well, notwithstanding his personal. un worthiness. Mat. viii. 5-13. And the prodigal son sped well when he returned to his father, notwithstanding his personal unworthi- ness ; for he was readily accepted, greatly pitied, sweetly embraced, courteously received, and very joyfully and nobly entertained. Witness the best robe that was put upon his back, and the gold ring that was put on his finger, and the shoes that were put on his feet, and the fatted calf that was killed to make the company merry, Luke xv. 1 1-32. O sirs ! if in the face of all your unworthiness you will go to God, and tell him that you are sinners, that you are vile sinners, that you are wretched sinners, that you are very great sinners, yea, that you are the greatest of sinners, and that you have deserved a thousand deaths, a thousand hells, a thousand destructions, and a thousand damnations, and earnestly beseech him to look upon you, and to bestow himself upon you, though
Lam. III. 24.] AN ARK FOR ALL GOD'S NOAHS. 127
not for your worthiness's sake, yet for his name's sake, for his mercy's sake, for his promise's sake, for his covenant's sake, for his oath's sake, and for his Son's sake. Certainly if you shall thus plead with God, all the angels in heaven, and all the men on earth, cannot tell to the con- trary, but that you may speed as well as ever the centurion or the pro- digal did. I have taken the more pains to answer this objection, that so it may never have a resurrection more in any of your hearts into whose hands this treatise may fall.
I know other objections might be raised, but because I have spoken laro-ely so much in my former writings, I shall pass on to the last thing proposed, and that is, to lay down some positions that may, by the blessino- of God, be of singular use to the Christian reader.
First Position. As, first, That it is one thing for a man to have God for his pm^tion, and it is another thing for a man to have an assur- ance in his own soul that God is his portion.^ There are many that have God for their portion who yet are full of fears and doubts that i God is not their portion. Thus it was with Asaph in that 77th psalm, and thus it was with Heman in that 88th psalm, and thus it is with very many Christians in these days. Sometimes God exercises his children with such changeable and such terrible dispensations, as raises many fears and doubts in them about their interest and propriety in God. And sometimes their secret indulging of some bosom idol, their entertainment of some predominant lust, raises strange fears and jealousies in their souls about their interest in God. And sometimes their not closing with the Lord so closely, so fully, so faithfully, so uni- versally, and so sincerely as they should, without any secret reservation, raises many doubts and questions in them whether God be their por- tion or no. The graces of many Christians are so weak, and their corruptions are so strong, and Satan is so busy with them, and their duties and performances are so weak, so flat, so dull, so sapless, so life- less, so fruitless, and so inconstant, that they are ready at every turn to say. If God be our God, why is it thus with us ? If God be our por- tion, why are our hearts in no better a frame ? why have our duties no more spirit, life, and fire in them ? Look, as the sun may shine, and yet I not see it ; and as the husband may be in the house, and yet the wife not know it ; and as the child may have a very great portion, a very fair estate settled upon him, and yet he not understand it ; so a Christian may have God for his portion, and yet for the present he may tiot see it, nor know it, nor understand it : 1 John v. 13, ' These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.* These precious souls had God and Christ for their portion, and they did believe, and they had eternal life in the seeds and beginnings of it, and in the promise, and in Christ their head, who, as a public person, had taken possession of it in their steads, and yet they had not the assurance of these things in their own souls, Eph. ii. 6. Look, as the babe that hath passed i the pangs of the first birth doth not presently cry out. My father, my [father, so the babe of grace, the new-bom Christian, doth not pre- sently cry out. My God, my God. It is one mercy for God to be my ^ Mose3 hia face did sLine, and yet he did not see it.
128 AN ARK FOR ALL GOD's NOAHS. [LAM. III. 24.
Grod, and it is another mercy for God to tell me that he ia my God ; it is one act of grace for God to be my portion, and it is another act of grace for God to . tell me that he is my portion. Look, as fire may be hid under ashes for a time, and as bits of gold may be hid in an heap of dust for a time, and as stars may be hid in a dark night for a time, and as a pearl may be hid in a puddle for a time, so God may be a man's portion, and yet this may be hid from him for a time.