sad truth. And therefore let no man conclude that God is not his God, because he hath lost the sight and sense of his interest and pro- priety in God ; let no man say, that God is not his portion, because he hath lost those evidences, at the present, by which he halh formerly proved God to be his portion. Though a man should lose his writings and evidences that he hath to shew for such or such an estate, yet his writings and evidences being enrolled in a court of record, his estate remains good, and his title is still good in law ; and therefore there is no reason why such a man should sit down, and wring his hands, and cry out, I am undone, I am undone ; so though a Christian should lose his writings, his evidences that once he had to shew, that once he had to prove God to be his God and portion, and that he had a real interest and propriety in God, yet his writings, his evidences being enrolled in the court of heaven, his title to God, his interest in God remains good ; and therefore there is no reason why such a person should sit down dejected, and wring his hands, and cry out, Oh I am undone, I am for ever undone.
Fifth Position. The fifth position is this. That such that have not, for the present, Ood for their portion, ought not peremptorily to conclude that they shall never have God for their portion. Such a person that cannot yet truly say that the Lord is his portion, ought not to despair of ever having of God for his portion. The time of a man's life is but a day, and God may bestow himself as a portion upon man in what hour of that day he pleases. In the parable, he bestowed himself as a portion upon some at the first hour, upon others at the third hour, upon others at the sixth hour, upon others at the ninth hour, and upon others at the eleventh hour, Mat. xx. 1-17. God is a free agent, and may bestow himself upon whom he pleases, and as he pleases, and when he pleases. There is no sinner, no, not the greatest sinner living under the gospel, that can infallibly determine that God will never be his God.* No sinner can conclude that God hath per- emptorily and absolutely excluded him from mercy, and shut him out among those that he is resolved never to bestow himself upon. For,
1. God never made any sinner one of his privy council.
2. In the gospel of grace God hath revealed no such thing.
3. Secret things belong only to the Lord, Deut. xxix, 29.
4. God hath bestowed himself as a portion upon as great sinners as any they are that yet have not God for their portion.
5. All the angels in heaven, and all the men on earth, cannot tell to the contrary, but that God may have thoughts of mercy towards thee, and that thy lot may fall within the purpose of his grace, and that he may bestow himself as a portion upon thee before thou art cut off from the land of the living. Although a sinner may certainly know at the pre- sent that God is not his God, that God is not his portion, yet he doth not certainly know that God will never be his God, that God will never be his portion ; and therefore no sinner may peremptorily conclude that God will never be his God, because for the present he cannot, he dares not say he is his God.
God gave himself as a portion to Abraham when he was old, when he was a white-headed sinner, Gen. xii. 4. And Manasseh was old ^ We except such that hath committed the sin against the Holy Ghost.
Lam. III. 24] an ark for all god's noahs. 131
when he was converted and changed, and when God bestowed himself upon him, 2 Chron. xxxiii 1, 12-14. And Zaccheus and Nicodemus were called and converted in their old age. When there were but a few steps between them and the grave, between them and eternity, between them ahd everlasting burnings, then the Lord graciously re- vealed himself, and bestowed himself as a portion upon them. And if we believe Tertullian,^ Paul wanted not a prediction of the Holy Ghost in that prophetic blessing of dying Jacob to his youngest son: Gen. xlix. 27, ' Benjamin shall raven as a wolf : in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil' Paul was of the tribe of Benjamin, in the morning, the fore part of his age, woiTying and devouring the flock of Christ, persecuting of the church ; and in the evening, the declension of his life, dividing the word, a doctor of the nations.* And Dionysius tells us that Mary Magdalene, that was so loose and dissolute in her youth, being converted in her old age, she sequestered herself from all worldly pleasures, and lived a most solitary life in the mountains of Gallia, where she spent full thirty years in meditation, fasting, and prayer. And old godly Similes said that he had been in the world sixty years, but had lived but seven, counting his life, not from his first birth, but from his new birth. And Augus- tine repented that he had begun to seek, serve, and love God no sooner.' By all these instances it is most evident that God may bestow himself as a portion upon sinners, upon very great sinners, yea, upon the greatest of sinners, and that at last cast, when they are stricken in years, and when they are even ready to go out of this world ; and therefore let no man despair of having of God for his portion, though for the present his soul cannot say. The Lord is my portion.
O sirs ! despair is a sin, a very heinous sin, yea, it is that sin that damns with a witness. Despairing Judas perished and was damned, whenas the very murderers of Christ, believing on Christ, were saved.* Acts ii. Despair thrusts God from his mercy-seat ; it throws disgrace upon the throne of grace ; it gives the lie to all the precious promises ; it casts reproach upon the nature of God ; it tramples under feet the blood of the covenant ; it cuts the throat of faith, hope, and repentance ; it renders all the means of grace useless and fniitless ; it embitters all a man's comforts ; it gives a sting to all a man's troubles ; it proclaims Satan a conqueror ; it raises a hell in the conscience ; it makes a man a Magor-misaabib, a terror to himself and an astonishment to others. In that seventh of Daniel there is mention made of four beasts : the first a lion, the second a bear, the third a leopard, but the fourth, with- out distinction either of kind, or sex, or name, is said to be very fearful, and terrible, and strong ; and such a thing as this fourth beast was is desperation, as all have found that ever have been under it. Despera- tion is a complicated sin ; it is a mother sin ; it is a breeding sin ; it is the complement of all sins ; and therefore above all take heed of this sin. O sirs 1 as you love your souls, and as you would be happy to all eternity, do not despair, nor do not be peremptory in your conclusions,
1 Adv. Marcion. lib. v.
' See my ' Apples of Gold,' pp. 852-354, two more famous stories of such that were converted in their old age. [See Vol. 1. — G.] * Soliloq. cap. xxxiii.