given in to me that it was because I would not go to New England, Upon this the Lord took away all fears from my spirit, and then I told my husband I was willing to go with him ; for the Lord had made my way clear to me against any that should oppose. And then my husband went presently upon the work to fit to go. "And the Lord was pleased to carry us as upon eagle's wings, according to that Dcut. xxxii. 10, 11. We were eight weeks in our passage, and saw nothing but the heavens and waters. I knew that the Lord was a great God upon the shore ; but when I was upon the sea I did then see more of his glorious power than ever I had done before, according to that of the psalmist, Ps. cvii. 23, 24. And when the Lord was pleased to bring us in safety on shore, his people gave us the best entertainment they could ; and then I thought I could never be thankful enough to the Lord for his goodness in preserving us upon the sea, I being big with child, and my husband sick almost all the voyage. After this my husband would have gone by water higher into the country ; but I told him the Lord having been so good in bringing us safe ashore amongst his people, I was not willing to go again to sea. And it was a good providence of God we did not ; for most of them that went were undone by it. The first sermon that I heard after I came ashore was out of Jer. ii. 13, ' For my people have committed two evils ; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.' Now the minister did shew that whatever we did build on short of Christ would prove but a broken cistern ; and by that sermon the Lord was pleased to shake my foundation. But I being a poor, ignorant creature, thought if I could but get into the fellowship of the people of God, that that would quiet my spirit and answer all my objections ; and I did accordingly attempt to join with the church ; but they were very faithful to the Lord and my soul, and asked me what promise the Lord had made home in power upon me. And I answered them, Jer. xxxi. 3, ' Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love ; there- fore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee : ' but they told me that that was a general promise, that I must look to get some particular dromise made home in power upon me ; and persuaded me to wait a little longer to see what God would further do for my poor soul, which accordingly I did. And going to hear Mr Cotton, i who did jDreach out of Kev. ii. 28, ' To him that overcometh I will give the morning star ;' from which words he did observe that that star was Christ. And [from] this he came to shew how a soul might know whether it had an interest in Christ or no, and that was by the Lord's giving out such precious promises as these to the poor soul — viz., that ' God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself,' 2 Cor. v. 19 ; and that John xvi. 21, ' And your joy shall no man take from you :' and Isa. liv. 22, ' I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and as a cloud, thy sins;' and that Isa. xliii. 25; which promises aftei'wards God made sweet to my soul. After this I went to hear Mr Shepherd,2
' John Cotton of Boston in Old England, and afterwards of Boston in New England Died, 1652.
^ Tliomas Shepard of Cambridge, Mass., whose Works — including his celebrated ser- mons expository of the Parable of the Ten Virgins, mentioned by Mrs Bell— have been collected in 3 vols., cr. 8vo, 1853, (^Boston.)— G.
4?)4 EXPERIENX'ES OF MRS SURANN'A BELL.
and he was ])reacliinf^ out of the parable of the ten virgins, Mat. XXV. 1-13. In his discourse he shewed that all were professors, but the foolish had nothing but lamps without oil, a profession without grace in their hearts; hut that the wise had got grace in their hearts, and so were ready-prepared to meet the Bridegroom when he came. Now 1)}' that discourse of his the Lord was pleased to convince me tViat I was a foolish virgin, and that I made a profession, but wanted the oil of grace in my heart, and by this means I was brought into a very sad condition. For 1 did not experimentally know what it was to have oil in my lamp, grace in my heart, nor what it was to have union with Christ, that l)eing a mystery to me. And then I did think myself guilty of breaking all the commandments of God except the sixth. For I thought I had never desired, wished, or endeavoured any man's death. But then the Lord shewed me that if I were saved by Christ my sins had murdered him, according to that Acts iii. 15, and iv. 10. And that did greatly aggravate my sin the more unto me. Now one of my neighbours, observing that I was in a distressed condition, told me that she had been a-hearing, and that the minister she heard was a-shewing that the liord had more glory in tlie salva- tion than in the damnation of sinners. For in their salvation his mercy and his justice were both glorified, but in their destruction only his justice was glorified. Hearing of this the Lord was pleased to draw out my heart to plead with him, that if he might recei\'e more glory in my salvation than in my destruction, that then his mercy might be manifested to me. For I thought, although I had many worldly comtbrts, yet I had no interest in Christ, and that if I should die presently, hell would be my portion ; and in this sad and sore dis- tress the liOrd was pleased to imprint that scripture upon my mind : Job X. 2, ' I will say unto God, Do not condemn me : sIicav me where- fore thou contendest with me :' Job xl. 2, ' Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him ? he that reproveth God, let him answer it ;' and that word of the apostle's : Rom. ix. 20, 21, ' Nay but thou, 0 man, who art thou that rcplicst against Gt)d ? Shall the thing formed say to him that foimed it. Why hast thou made me thus ? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?' After this it pleased God that Mr Eliot i and some other of the ^leople of God, see- ing me in this sad condition, [sent to] tell me the church would have me come in to he a member with them ; but I did reply that all church-fellowship would do me no good. Then ]\Ir Eliot asked me, what would do me good ? and I told him, nothing but an interest in Christ. His answer was, that I was already in the pangs of the new birth, and he did believe it would not be long before the Lord spoke peace to my poor soul. After that, reading a book of Dr Preston's,^ where he did shew ' that when the Loid joined himself to a believer, he did first comprehend the soul, and then enabling [enable] the soul by faith to apprehend him,' which double act of faith I then knew not. About fourteen days after, considering what a distressed condition I
' The venerable apostle of the Indians, John Eliot, born 1604, died 1690.— G. ' Sibbcs's great friend. Died 1C28. Probablv his ' Breastplate of Faith,' is referred to.— G.