4. I answer — That no certain rule can be given as to this different dispensation, why some are so gently used, and others so violently brought home to God. Sometimes they which have had good educa- tion, and less errors of life, have less terrors of heart, as being restrained from gross sins ; at other times they have had most terrors, because they have withstood so many means, and because they do not know when God works upon them. Sometimes those which are called to greatest services have had most terrors, that they may speak more of the evil of sin, having felt the bitterness of it : 2 Cor. v. 11, ' Knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.' Sometimes it is quite otherwise ; they which have been called to some eminent public service for God may not drink so deeply of this cup, but are spared, that they may be kept more entire for their public work, which serves instead of sorow and trouble of conscience. Again, sometimes men and women of most excellent and acute understandings are most humble, as having clearest apprehensions of the heinousness of sin and terror of wrath. At other times, on the contrary, these horrors and fears come from ignorance, as fears arise in the dark, and weak spirits are apt to be terrified, and have a knowledge of the remedy as soon as they know their disease ; the work may be more gentle. Sometimes these terrors fall on a strong body, as being best able to bear them ; sometimes on a weak, the devil taking advantage of their weaknesses and manifold infirmities. Many times in hot and fiery natures their changes are sudden, carried on with extremities ; but sometimes soft natures,
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whose motions are slow and gentle, by degrees are surprised, and im- pressions of grace are made insensibly. Thus God acts as he will, but in the general all are serious and solicitous.
5. Because no certain rule can be given, the measure must not be looked after, but the effects ; we are not so much to look to the deep- ness of the wound, as the soundness of the cure. The means only respect the end, therefore the end must be considered ; and many times the effects are visible and more evident in fruit and feeling. Now, if we give sound proof that we are converted, I am contented. If the work be done, that sufficeth, which way soever it be done, though usually it is done by some notable and powerful impression upon the heart. Look, as the blind man said, John ix. 25, ' Which way my eyes were opened I know not ; but this I know, tliat whereas I was blind, I now see.' So if the renewed soul can say, How the work was done, I can- not tell ; I have been waiting upon God, and have felt the fruits of his grace upon my heart.
6. The effects of this first work are these : —
[1.] A hearty welcoming of Christ Jesus into the soul ; they do not take up with comfort on this side Christ. Men's troubles are known by their satisfaction. If honour satisfied men, then disesteem and dis- respect were their trouble, however they did palliate it with religious pretences. If riches satisfied men, then poverty pinched them. If the prosperity of the world satisfied men, it was worldly adversity was their trouble, though it crept under religious pretences. But if we see the necessity of a saviour, receive him into our hearts, and believe in him with all our heart's desire, and delight, and all is carried after Christ and after the refreshings of his grace, and are satisfied with none but Christ, and our hearts pant for him ' as the hart panteth after the water-brooks/ you ought to bless God that he hath left the impression of the effect, though he hath not left the impression of the way, Ps. xlii. 1. But now, when desires after Christ are either none at all, or cold and faint, and easily put out of the humour, and only provoke you now and then to put up a cold prayer, or express a few faint wishes or heartless sighs ; that though you have a desire after Christ, yet it is easily diverted, and controlled by other and higher desires, and you can be satisfied, and take up with something beneath Christ, and Christ is not the precious and only one of your souls, you have not that impression which amounts to a hearty work.
[2.] Another impression is a thorough hatred of sin, and serious watchfulness and striving against it ; when you seek to cast it out of your soul with indignation, Hosea xiv, 8 ; to ' hate every false way,' Ps. cxix, 104 ; when you are continually groaning under it, Rom. vii. 24, and seek to weaken it more and more ; for ' they that are Christ's, have crucified the flesh, with the affections and lusts thereof,' Gal. v. 24. This is a sensible impression left upon the soul.
[3.] A lively diligence in the spiritual life. Though you cannot tell how God brought you in, yet if you keep up a lively diligence in serving God, and with ' the twelve tribes instantly serving God day and night,' Acts xxvi, 7, and you are always ' working out your own salvation with fear and trembling,' Phil, ii. 12, and you are hard at