1. Now the soul may be known to hate sin when it seeks the utter abolishing of it ; for hatred is an implacable and irreeoncileable affection.
2. True hatred is carried against the whole kind of sin, without respect of any wrong done to us, but only out of a mere antipathy and contrariety of disposition to it, as the lamb hateth the whole kind of wolves, and man hateth the whole kind of serpents. A toad does us no harm, but yet we hate it.
3. That which is hateful to us, the nearer it is the more wo shun and abhor it, as venomous serpents and hm'tful creatures, because the nearness of the object affects us more deeply. Therefore, if our grief spring from true hatred of sin, it will make no new league with it, but grieve for all sin, especially for our own particular sins, as being contrary to the work of God's grace in us, then is gi'ief an affection of the new creature, and every way of the right breed.
4. But for fuller satisfaction in this case, we must know there is some- times gx'ief for sin in us, when we think there is none. It wants but stirring up by some quickening word. The remembrance of God's favours and our unkindness, or the awaking of our consciences by some cross, will raise up this affection feelingty in us. As in the affection of love many think that they have no love to God at all ; yet let God be dishonom-ed in
236 THE soul's conflict.
his name, truth, or children, and their love will soon stu*, and appear in just anger.
In want of grief for sin, we must remember, first, that we must have this affection from God, before we can bring it unto God,
And, therefore, in the second place, our chief care should be not to harden our hearts against the motions of the Spirit stirring us to season- able grief, for that may cause a judicial hardness from God. God oft in- fiicteth some spiritual judgment as a correction upon men, for not yielding to his Spirit at the first ; they feel a hardness of heart growing upon them. This made the church complain, ' Why hast thou hardened our hearts from thy fear ? ' Isa. Ixiii. 17. Which if Christians did well consider, they would more carefully entertain such impressions of sorrow, as the Spirit in the use of the means, and observation of God's deahng towards them- selves or others, shall work in them, than they do. It is a saying of Austin, ' Let a man grieve for his sin, and joy for his grief.' Though we can neither love, nor grieve, nor joy of ourselves, as we should, yet our hearts tell us, we are often guilty of giving a check to the Spirit's stir- ring these affections in us, which is a main cause of the many sharp afflic- tions we endure in this life, though God's love in the main matter of sal- vation be most fii'm unto us.
Third, We must not think to have all this grief at first, and at once, for oftentimes it is deeper after a sight and feehng of God's love than it was before. God is a free agent, and knows every man's several mould, and the several services he is to use them in, and oft takes hberty afterwards to humble men more, when he hath enabled them better to bear it, than in their first entrance into rehgion. Grief before springs commonly from self-love and fear of danger. Let no man suspect his estate, because God spares him in the beginning. For Christians many times meet with greater trial after their conversion than ever they thought on. When men take little fines, they mean to take the greater rent. God will have his children, first or last, to feel what sin is ; and how much they are beholden to him for Christ.
This grief doth not always arise from poring on sin, but by oft consider- ing of the infinite goodness of God in Christ, and thereby reflecting on our own unworthiness, not only in regard of sin past, but likewise of the sin that hangeth upon us, and issues daily from us. The more holy a man is, the more he sees the holiness of God's nature, with whom he desires to have communion, the more he is grieved that there should be anything found in him displeasing to so pure a Majesty.
And as all our grief comes not at first, so God will not have it come all at once, but to be a stream always running, fed with a spring, yet within the banks, though sometimes deeper, sometimes shallower. Grief for sin is like a constant stream ; grief for other things is like a torrent, or swell- ing waters, which are soon up, soon down ; what it wants in greatness is made up in continuance.
Fourth, Again, if we watch not our nature, there will be a spice of popery, which is a natural religion, in this great desire of more grief; as, if we had that, then wo had something to satisfy God withal, and so our minds wiU rim too much upon works. This grief must not only be wrought by God revealing our sin, and his mercy unto us in Christ; but when it is wi'ought, we must altogether rest, in a sense of our own emptiness, upon the fuU satisfaction and worthiness of Christ our Saviour.