We ought to trust God upon other grounds, though we had never tried him ; but when he helps our faith by fonner experience, this should strengthen our confidence, and shore up f our spirits, and put us on to go more cheerfully to God, as to a tried friend. If we were well read in the story of our own lives, we might have a divinity of our own, di'awn out of the observation of God's particular dealing towards us ; we might say, this and this truth I dare venture upon, I have found it true, Inlare build all my happiness upon it. As Paul, ' I know whom I have trusted,' 2 Tim. i. 12, I have tried him, he never yet failed me, I am not now to learn how faithful he is* to those that are his. Every new experience is a new know- ledge of God, and should fit us for new encounters. If we have been good in former times, God remembers the ' kindness of our youth,' Jer. ii. 2 ; we should therefore remember the kindness of God even from om* youth. Evidence of what we have felt, helps our faith in that which for the present we feel not.
Though it be one thing to live by faith, and another thing to live by sight, yet the more we see, and feel, and taste of God, the more we shall be led to rely on him, for that which as yet we neither see nor feel. ' Because thou hast been my helper,' saith David, ' therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice,' Ps. Ixiii. 7. The time was. Lord, when thou shewedst thy- self a gi-acious Father to me, and thou art imchangeable in thy nature, in thy love, and in thy gifts.
Yea, when there is no present evidence, but God shews himself as con- * That is, ' experiences.' — G. f That is, ' support.' — G.
278 THE soul's conflict.
trary to us, yet a former taste of God's goodness will enable to lay claim unto him still. God's concealing of himself is but a wise discipline for a time, until we be enabled to bear the fall revealing of himself unto us for ever. In the mean time, though we have some sight and feeling in God, yet our constant living is not by it ; the e\'idence of that we see not, is that which more constantly upholds the soul, than the evidence of anything we see or feel.
Yea, though our experience, by reason of our not minding of it in trouble, seems many times to stand us in no stead, but we fare as if God had never looked in mercy upon us ; yet even here, some virtue remains of former sense, which with the present spirit of faith, helps us to look upon God as ours, as we have a present strength from food received and digested before. Vessels are something the better for that liquor they keep not, but runs through them.
But if experience should wholly fail, there is such a divine power in faith, as a very little beam of it, having no other help than a naked promise, will uphold the soul. Howsoever, we must neglect no help, for God oft suspends his comfort till we have searched all our helps. Though we see no Hght, yet we ought to search all crevices for light, and rejoice in the least beam of light, that we may see day by. It is the nature of true faith to search and pry into every corner, and if after all nothing appears, then it casts itself upon God as in the first conversion, when it had nothing to look upon but the offer of free mercJ^- If at that time without former experience we did trusu God, why not now, when we have forgotten our experience ? The chief grounds of tnisting God are always the same, whether we feel or feel not ; nay, though for the present we feel the contrary, faith wiU never leave wrestling till it hath gotten a blessing. When faith is driven to work alone, having nothing but God, and his bare promise to rely upon, then God thinks it lies upon his credit to shew himself as a God unto us. God's power in creating light out of darkness is never more exalted, than when a guilty soul is lifted up by God to look for mercy, even when he seems armed with justice, to execute vengeance upon him ; then the soul is brought to a near conformity unto Christ, who, 1, when he had the guilt of the sins of the whole world upon him ; 2, when he was forsaken, and that after he had enjoyed the sweetest communion with his Father that ever creature could do ; and not only so, but, 3, felt the weight of God's just displeasure against sin ; and, 4, was abased lower than ever any creature was ; yet still he held fast God as his God.
In earthly matters, if we have a title to anything by gift, contract, in- heritance, or howsoever, we will not be wrangled out of ouif right. And shall we not maintain our right in God, against all the tricks and cavils of Satan and our own hearts ? We must labour to have something, that we may shew that we are within the covenant. If we be never so little en- tered into the covenant, we are safe. And herein lies the special comfort of sincerity, that though our grace be little, yet it is of the right stamp, and shews us, that we are servants, and sons, though unworthy to be so. Here a little truth will go far. Hence it is that the saints in all their ex- tremities still allege something, that shews that they are within the covenant ; we are thy children, thy people, and thy servants, &c. God is mindful of his covenant, but is well pleased, that we should mind him of it too ; and mind it ourselves to make use of it, as David doth here. He knew if he could bring his soul to his God, all would be quiet.