263. Then with joy I told my wife, _O_! _now I know_, _I know_! But that night was a good night to me, I never had but few better; I longed for the company of some of God’s people, that I might have imparted unto them what God had showed me. Christ was a precious Christ to my soul that night; I could scarce lie in my bed for joy, and peace, and triumph, through Christ. This great glory did not continue upon me until morning, yet the twelfth of the Author to the Hebrews, Heb. xii. 22, 23, was a blessed scripture to me for many days together after this.
264. The words are these: _Ye are come to mount Sion_, _and unto the city of the living God_, _the heavenly Jerusalem_, _and to an innumerable company of angels_, _to the general assembly and church of the first-born_, _which are written in heaven_; _and to God the Judge of all_, _and to the spirits of just men made perfect_, _and to Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant_, _and to the blood of sprinkling_, _that speaketh better things than that of Abel_. Through this blessed sentence the Lord led me over and over, first to this word, and then to that; and showed me wonderful glory in every one of them. These words also have oft since that time, been great refreshment to my spirit. Blessed be God for having mercy on me.
_A brief Account of the Author’s Call to the Work of the Ministry_
265. AND now I am speaking my experience, I will in this place thrust in a word or two concerning my preaching the word, and of God’s dealing with me in that particular also. For after I had been about five or six years awakened, and helped myself to see both the want and worth of Jesus Christ our Lord, and also enabled to venture my soul upon Him; some of the most able among the saints with us, I say, the most able for judgment and holiness of life, as they conceived, did perceive that God had counted me worth to understand something of His will in His holy and blessed word, and had given me utterance in some measure, to express what I saw to others, for edification; therefore they desired me, and that with much earnestness, that I would be willing, at sometimes to take in hand, in one of the meetings, to speak a word of exhortation unto them.
266. The which, though at the first it did much dash and abash my spirit, yet being still by them desired and entreated, I consented to their request, and did twice at two several assemblies (but in private), though with much weakness and infirmity, discover my gift amongst them; at which they not only seemed to be, but did solemnly protest, as in the sight of the great God, they were both affected and comforted; and gave thanks to the Father of mercies, for the grace bestowed on me.
267. After this, sometimes, when some of them did go into the country to teach, they would also that I should go with them; where, though as yet, I did not nor durst not, make use of my gift in an open way, yet more privately, still, as I came amongst the good people in those places, I did sometimes speak a word of admonition unto them also; the which they, as the other, received with rejoicing at the mercy of God to me-ward, professing their souls were edified thereby.
268. Wherefore, to be brief; at last, being still desired by the church, after some solemn prayer to the Lord, with fasting, I was more particularly called forth, and appointed to a more ordinary and public preaching of the word, not only to and amongst them that believed, but also to offer the gospel to those who had not yet received the faith thereof; about which time I did evidently find in my mind a secret pricking forward thereto; though I bless God, not for desire of vain-glory; for at that time I was most sorely afflicted with the fiery darts of the devil, concerning my eternal state.
269. But yet could not be content, unless I was found in the exercise of my gift, unto which also I was greatly animated, not only by the continual desires of the godly, but also by that saying of _Paul_ to the _Corinthians_: _I beseech you_, _brethren_ (_ye know the household of Stephanas_, _that it is the first fruits of Achaia_, _and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints_) _that ye submit yourselves unto such_, _and to every one that helpeth with us_, _and laboureth_. 1 Cor. xvi. 15, 16.