318. Having made profession of the glorious gospel of Christ a long time, and preached the same about five years, I was apprehended at a meeting of good people in the country (among whom, had they let me alone, I should have preached that day, but they took me away from amongst them), and had me before a justice; who, after I had offered security for my appearing at the next sessions, yet committed me, because my sureties would not consent to be bound that I should preach no more to the people.
319. At the sessions after I was indicted for an upholder and maintainer of unlawful assemblies and conventicles, and for not conforming to the national worship of the church of _England_; and after some conference there with the justices, they taking my plain dealing with them for a confession, as they termed it, _of the indictment_, _did sentence me to a perpetual banishment_, _because I refused to conform_. So being again delivered up to the jailer’s hands, I was had home to prison, and there have lain now complete twelve years, waiting to see what God would suffer these men to do with me.
320. In which condition I have continued with much content, through grace, but have met with many turnings and goings upon my heart, both from the Lord, Satan, and my own corruptions; by all which (glory be to Jesus Christ) I have also received among many things, much conviction, instruction, and understanding, of which at large I shall not here discourse; only give you a hint or two, a word that may stir up the godly to bless God, and to pray for me; and also to take encouragement, should the case be their own—_not to fear what man can do unto them_.
321. I never had in all my life so great an inlet into the word of God as now: those scriptures that I saw nothing in before, are made in this place and state to shine upon me; Jesus Christ also was never more real and apparent than now; here I have seen and felt Him indeed: Oh! that word, _We have not preached unto you cunningly devised fables_, 2 Pet. i. 16, and that, _God raised Christ from the dead_, _and gave Him glory_, _that our faith and hope might be in God_ 1 Pet. i. 21, were blessed words unto me in this my imprisoned condition.
322. These three or four scriptures also have been great refreshments in this condition to me: John xiv. 1–4; John xvi. 33; Col. iii. 3, 4; Heb. xii. 22–24. So that sometimes when I have been in the savour of them, I have been able to laugh at destruction, _and to fear neither the horse nor his rider_. I have had sweet sights of the forgiveness of my sins in this place, and of my being with Jesus in another world: _Oh_! _the mount Sion_, _the heavenly Jerusalem_, _the innumerable company of angels_, _and God the Judge of all_, _and the spirits of just men made perfect_, _and Jesus_, have been sweet unto me in this place: I have seen that here, that I am persuaded I shall never, while in this world, be able to express: I have seen a truth in this scripture, _Whom having not seen_, _ye love_; _in whom_, _though now you see Him not_, _yet believing_, _ye rejoice with joy unspeakable_, _and full of glory_. 1 Pet. i. 8.
323. I never knew what it was for God to stand by me at all turns, and at every offer of Satan to afflict me, etc., as I have found Him since I came in hither: for look how fears have presented themselves, so have supports and encouragements; yea, when I have started, even as it were, at nothing else but my shadow, yet God, as being very tender of me, hath not suffered me to be molested, but would with one scripture or another, strengthen me against all; insomuch that I have often said, _were it lawful_, _I could pray for greater trouble_, _for the greater comfort’s sake_. Eccl. vii. 14; 2 Cor. i. 5.
324. Before I came to prison, I saw what was coming, and had especially two considerations warm upon my heart; the first was, how to be able to encounter death, should that be here my portion. For the first of these, that scripture, Col. i. 11, was great information to me, namely, to pray to God _to be strengthened with all might_, _according to His glorious power_, _unto all patience and long-suffering with joyfulness_. I could seldom go to prayer before I was imprisoned; but for not so little as a year together, this sentence, or sweet petition would, as it were, thrust itself into my mind, and persuade me, that if ever I would go through long-suffering, I must have all patience, especially if I would endure it joyfully.