Wise. Why, the man that is thus averse to repentance, that desires not to hear of his sins, that he might repent and be saved; is said to be a man that saith unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy wayes. {163a} He is a man that sayes in his heart and with his actions, I have loved strangers, (sins) and after them I will goe. He is a man that shuts his eyes, stops his ears, and that turneth his spirit against God. Yea he is the man that is at enmity with God, and that abhorres him with his soul. {163b}
Atten. What other signe can you give me that Mr. Badman died without repentance?
Wise. Why, he did never heartily cry to God for mercy all the time of his affliction. {163c} True, when sinking fits, stitches, or pains took hold upon him, then he would say as other carnal men use to do, Lord help me, Lord strengthen me, Lord deliver me, and the like: But to cry to God for mercy, that he did not, but lay, as I hinted before, as if he never had sinned.
Atten. That is another bad sign indeed; for crying to God for mercy, is one of the first signs of repentance. When Paul lay repenting of his sin, upon his bed, the Holy Ghost said of him, Behold he prayes. {163d} But he that hath not the first signs of repentance, ’tis a sign he hath none of the other, and so indeed none at all. I do not say, but there may be crying, where there may be no sign of repentance. They cryed, says David, to the Lord, but he answered them not; {163e} but that he would have done, if their cry had been the fruit of repentance. But, I say, if men may cry, and yet have no repentance, be sure, they have none, that cry not at all. It is said in Job, They cry not when he bindeth them; {163f} that is, because they have no repentance; no repentance, no cryes; false repentance, false cryes; true repentance, true cryes.
Wise. I know that it is as possible for a man to forbear crying that hath repentance, as it is for a man to forbear groaning that feeleth deadly pain. He that looketh into the Book of Psalms, (where repentance is most lively set forth even in its true and proper effects,) shall there find, that crying, strong crying, hearty crying, great crying, and uncessant crying, hath been the fruits of repentance: (But none of this had this Mr. Badman, therefore he dyed in his sins.)
That Crying is an inseparable effect of repentance, is seen in these Scriptures. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to the multitude of thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am weak. O Lord, heal me for my bones are vexed. My soul is also vexed, but thou, O Lord, how long: Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: O save me for thy mercies sake: O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure; for thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore. There is no soundness in my flesh, because of thine anger, neither is there any rest in my bones, because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head, as an heavy burthen, they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt; because of my foolishness. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly, I goe mourning all the day long. My loyns are filled with a loathsom disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble, and sore broken, I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart. {164a}
I might give you a great number more of the holy sayings of good men, whereby they express how they were, what they felt, and whether they cryed or no, when repentance was wrought in them. Alas, alas, it is as possible for a man, when the pangs of Guilt are upon him to forbear praying, as it is for a woman when pangs of travel are upon her to forbear crying. If all the world should tell me that such a man hath repentance, yet if he is not a praying man, I should not be perswaded to believe it.
Atten. I know no reason why you should: for there is nothing can demonstrate that such a man hath it. But pray Sir, what other sign have you, by which you can prove that Mr. Badman died in his sins, and so in a state of damnation?
Wise. I have this to prove it. {164b} Those who were his old sinfull companions in the time of his health, were those whose company and carnal talk he most delighted in, in the time of his sickness. I did occasionally hint this before, but now I make it an argument of his want of grace: for where there is indeed a work of Grace in the heart, that work doth not only change the heart, thoughts and desires, but the conversation also; yea conversation and company too. When Paul had a work of grace in his soul, he assayed to Joyn himself to the Disciples. He was for his old companions in their abominations no longer: he was now a Disciple, and was for the company of Disciples. And he was with them coming in and going out in Jerusalem. {165a}