February 18. This afternoon I broke a bloodvessel in my stomach, and lost a considerable quantity of blood. I was very happy immediately afterwards. February 19. This morning, Lord's day, two brethren called on me, to ask me what arrangement there should be made to-day, as it regarded the four villages, where some of the brethren were in the habit of preaching, as, on account of my not being able to preach, one of the brethren would need to stay at home to take my place. I asked them, kindly, to come again in about an hour, when I would give them an answer. After they were gone, the Lord gave me faith to rise. I dressed myself; and determined to go to the chapel. I was enabled to do so, though so weak when I went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was an exertion to me. I was enabled to preach this morning with as loud and strong a voice as usual, and for the usual length of time. After the morning meeting, a medical friend called on me, and entreated me not to preach again in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I told him that I should indeed consider it great presumption to do so had the Lord not given me faith. I preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend called again, and said the same concerning the evening meeting. Nevertheless, having faith, I preached again in the evening. After each meeting I became stronger, which was a plain proof that the hand of God was in the matter.
February 20. The Lord enabled me to rise early in the morning, and to go to our usual prayer meeting, where I read, spoke, and prayed. Afterwards I wrote four letters, expounded the Scriptures at home, and attended the meeting again in the evening. February 21. I attended the two meetings as usual, preached in the evening, and did my other work besides. February 22. To-day I attended the meeting in the morning, walked afterwards six miles with two brethren, and rode to Plymouth. February 23. I am now as well as I was before I broke the bloodvessel. In relating the particulars of this circumstance, I would earnestly warn every one who may read this not to imitate me in such a thing if he has no faith; but if he has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly be honored by God. I could not say that if such a thing should happen again I would act in the same way; for when I have been not nearly so weak as when I had broken the bloodvessel, having no faith, I did not preach; yet, if it were to please the Lord to give me faith, I might be able to do the same, though even still weaker than at the time just spoken of.
About this time I repeatedly prayed with sick believers till they were restored. _Unconditionally_ I asked the Lord for the blessing of bodily health (a thing which I could not do now), and almost always had the petition granted. In some instances, however, the prayer was not answered. In the same way, whilst in London, November, 1829, in answer to my prayers, I was immediately restored from a bodily infirmity under which I had been laboring for a long time, and which has never returned since. The way in which I now account for these facts is as follows. It pleased the Lord, I think, to give me in such cases something like the gift (not grace) of faith, so that unconditionally I could ask and look for an answer. The difference between the _gift_ and the _grace_ of faith seems to me this. According to _the gift of faith_, I am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of which, _would not be sin_; according to _the grace of faith_, I am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which I have the word of God as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or the not believing it, _would be sin_. For instance, _the gift of faith_ would be needed to believe that a sick person should be restored again, though there is no human probability, for _there is no promise to that effect_; _the grace of faith_ is needed to believe that the Lord will give me the necessaries of life, if I first seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness, for _there is a promise to that effect_.[15]
[Footnote 15: Matt. vi.]