January 6, 1838. I feel little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says I am much better, and advises me now change of air. This evening a sister, who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me fifteen pounds for the express purpose of change of air; and wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly speaking, as quiet and change of air.
January 7. This is the ninth Lord's day that I have been kept from ministering in the word. My affliction is connected with a great tendency to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling, foreign to me even naturally.
January 10. To-day I went with my family to Trowbridge. Jan. 14. Lord's day. I have spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over Psalm lxiii. God has blessed my soul much to-day. My soul is now brought into that state that I delight myself in the will of God, as it regards my health. Yea, I can now say, _from my heart_, I would not have this disease removed till God, by its means, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent.
January 15. I have had, since yesterday afternoon, less suffering in my head than for the last eight days; though it is even now far from being well. I have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the Lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is only purifying me for his blessed service, and that I shall be soon restored to the work. To-day, also, God has continued to me fervency of spirit, which I have now enjoyed for three days following. He has to-day, also, drawn out my soul into much real communion with himself, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his dear Son. When God gives a spirit of prayer, how easy then to pray! Nevertheless, it was given to me in the use of the means, as I fell on my knees last Saturday, to read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer. To-day I spent about three hours in prayer over Psalms lxiv. and lxv. In reference to that precious word, "O thou that hearest prayer," (Ps. lxv. 2,) I asked the Lord the following petitions, and entreated him to record them in heaven, and to answer them.
1. That he would give me grace to glorify him by a submissive and patient spirit under my affliction.
2. That as I was enabled now, and _only now from my heart_, to praise God for this affliction, he would not remove his hand from me until he had qualified me for his work more than I have been hitherto.
3. That he would be pleased to grant that the work of conversion, through the instrumentality of brother Craik and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as when we first came to Bristol, yea, more abundantly than even then.
4. That he would be pleased to give more real spiritual prosperity to the church under our care than ever we have as yet enjoyed.
5. Having praised him for the sale of so many copies of my Narrative in so short a time, I entreated him to cause every copy to be disposed of.
6. I asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many may be converted through it, and many of the children of God truly benefited by it, and that thus I might now be speaking through it, though laid aside from active service.
7. I asked him for his blessing, in the way of conversion, to rest upon the orphans, and upon the Sunday and day-school children under our care.
8. I asked him for means to carry on these Institutions, and to enlarge them.
These are some of the petitions which I have asked of my God this evening, in connection with this his own word. I believe _he has heard me_. I believe he will make it manifest in his own good time that _he has heard_ me, and I have recorded these my petitions, this 15th day of January, 1838, that when God has answered them he may get, through this, glory to his name. [Whilst writing this second part, I add to the praise of the Lord, and for the encouragement of the children of God, that petitions 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, have been _fully_ answered, and the other petitions, likewise, in part.]