January 16. Tuesday. A blessed day. How very good is the Lord! Fervency of spirit, through his grace, is continued to me; though this morning, but for the help of God, I should have lost it again. The weather has been very cold for several days; but to-day I suffered much, either because it was colder than before, or because I felt it more, owing to the weakness of my body, and having taken so much medicine. I arose from my knees and stirred the fire, but I still remained very cold. I was a little irritated by this. I moved to another part of the room, but felt the cold still more. At last, having prayed for some time, I was obliged to rise up and take a walk to promote circulation. I now entreated the Lord on my walk that this circumstance might not be permitted to rob me of the precious communion which I have had with him the last three days; for this was the object at which Satan aimed. I confessed also my sin of irritability on account of the cold, and sought to have my conscience cleansed through the blood of Jesus. He had mercy upon me, my peace was restored, and when I returned I sought the Lord again in prayer, and had uninterrupted communion with him.
His health remaining feeble, Mr. M. left England on April 6, for Germany, and returned to Bristol May 7. He continues his narrative:--
May 8. This evening I went to the prayer meeting at Gideon. I read Psalm ciii., and was able to thank the Lord publicly for my late affliction. This is the first time that I have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren since November 6, 1837.
July 12. The funds, which were this day twelvemonth about seven hundred and eighty pounds, are now reduced to about twenty pounds; but, thanks be to the Lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has he at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be inquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, I gave myself to prayer with brother T----, of the Boys' Orphan House, who had called on me, and who, besides my wife and brother Craik, is the only individual to whom I speak about the state of the funds. While we were praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought, and some believers at Frome, having collected among them five pounds, sent this money with the child. Thus we received the first answer at a time of need. _We have given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that God will look on our necessities._
July 17 and 18. These two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, from six to nine in the evening, to commend publicly to the Lord the Boys' Orphan House. Our funds are how very low. There are about twenty pounds in hand, and in a few days thirty pounds, at least, will be needed; but I _purposely_ avoided saying anything about our present necessities, and spoke only to the praise of God, about the abundance with which our gracious Father, "the Father of the fatherless," has hitherto supplied us. This was done in order that the hand of God, in sending help, may be so much the more clearly seen.
July 22. This evening I was walking in our little garden, meditating on Heb. xiii. 8, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever." Whilst meditating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, etc., and turning all, as I went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love, and power, and wisdom, etc., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances,--all at once the present need of the Orphan Houses was brought to my mind. Immediately I was led to say to myself, Jesus in his love and power has hitherto supplied me with what I have needed for the orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power he will provide me with what I may need for the future. A flow of joy came into my soul whilst realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable Lord. About one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for twenty pounds.
August 18. I have not one penny in hand for the orphans. In a day or two again many pounds will be needed. My eyes are up to the Lord. _Evening._ Before this day is over, I have received from a sister five pounds. She had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, "I have this five pounds, and owe no man anything, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time before I can dispose of the trinkets." She therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand.