I allow, then, moat fully that I am in continual "need." This is the case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. A few hundred pounds go but a little way. There have been often weeks, when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can therefore easily be supposed that even if large donations come in, they do not last long. But whilst I allow this, I desire that the Christian reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even greater ones than those connected with money.--Should, however, the reader say that he thinks "I must find this a very trying life, and that I must be tired of it," I beg to state, that he is entirely mistaken. I do not find the life in connexion with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. It is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which I have obtained from God, after waiting upon Him for help and blessing; and the longer I have had to wait upon Him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of God the more manifest. I therefore solemnly declare that I do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and I am consequently not in the least tired of it. Straits and difficulties I expected from the very beginning. Before I began this service I expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living God, by seeing His hand stretched out in nay behalf in the hour of need. I did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of God, and the profit of God's dear children, did I desire to pass through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of God with me. The longer I go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but, at the same time, the happier I am in this my service, and the more assured, that I am engaged as the Lord would have me to be. How then could I be tired of carrying on the work of God on such principles as I do?
I now return to the extracts from my journal.
Feb. 4, 1848. Yesterday came in still further: from Norwich 1l. and from Devonshire 1l.
Feb. S. From a brother at Hereford 5l.--Feb. 5. From "Friends to Orphans" 2l., and from D.D. 12s 2 ½ d.--Feb. 5. By sale of articles 2l. 6s. 4d. Evening. Since this day week, when I had only one farthing left, the Lord has been pleased to send in for the Orphans 23l. 16s. 8 ½ d; but as I have had to pay away more than 10l., besides making up the remainder of what was needed for house-keeping expenses for the past week, there was only 6l. 10s. 10 ¾ d. for the expenses of the coming week, whilst nearly three times as much was required by the four matrons. I divided this little, however, among them, in the full assurance, that, by the time it was consumed, the Lord would send more.
Feb. 9. Today only 2s. 4d. has come in. We are supplied for the present moment, and shall have enough till tomorrow evening for house-keeping expenses; but there is about 25l. needed for boys' clothes, and I greatly desire to give some money to the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses.
Feb. 10. This morning was given to me the sum of One Hundred Pounds, which being left entirely to my disposal, I took of it 50l. for the Orphans, and 50l. for the School, Bible, Tractand Missionary Fund.--The Lord be praised for this most seasonable help! I am thus helped for the present for all the various parts of the work, and have especially two precious answers to my prayers concerning the Orphan work, in that I am able to get a new suit of clothes for all the boys, and to give some money to the sisters, who labour in the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities.
From Feb. 10th to 22nd came in 21l. 0s. 1 ½ d. more.
Feb. 25. All money was now again expended. This afternoon I had paid away the last. About an hour after, I received from a brother the contents of his Orphan-box, being 2s. 6d. and a gold watch-key. In the evening was given to me 10l., being the half-yearly profits arising from shares in a certain company. How kind of the Lord thus to help again so soon! As soon as the last money was disbursed, He sent more.
Feb. 29. 4l. 18s. 0d. more has come in since the 25th. This evening I paid away for house-keeping all the money I had, being 12l. 10s. 7d., and returned home with an empty purse, trusting in the Lord to give me again fresh supplies. I shall shortly need again many pounds.