On the receipt of this I wrote at once to the poor Godly widow, offering her the traveling expenses for coming to Bristol, that I might have personal intercourse with her; for I feared lest this should be an act of excitement, and the more so, as she had received back 5l. of the sum. This sister in the Lord, a widow of about 60 years of age, came to Bristol, and told me in all simplicity how ten years before, in the year 1843, she had purposed that, if ever she should come into the possession of the little house in which she lived with her husband, she would sell it, and give the proceeds to the Lord. About five years afterwards her husband died, and she, having no children, nor any particular claim upon her, then sought to dispose of her little property. However one difficulty after the other prevented her being able to effect a sale. At last she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to pay the yearly ground rent of the house and garden, and she asked the Lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able to carry out her desire, which she had had for ten years. He now helped her; the house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole 90l. into the Orphan Box for me, being assured that the Lord would direct me how best the money might be used for Him.--I still questioned her again and again to find out, whether it was not excitement which had led her to act as she had done; but I not only saw that her mind had been fully decided about this act for ten years before, but that she was also able to answer from the word of God all the objections which I purposely made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from right motives acted in what she had done. At last, being fully satisfied that it was not from impulse nor under excitement that she had given the money, I stated to her something like this: "You are poor, about sixty years old, and therefore decreasing in strength, may you not therefore keep this money for yourself?" Her reply was: "God has always provided for me, and I have no doubt He will do so in future also. I am able to work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a nurse, or in any other way." What could I say against this? This was just what a child of God would say, and should say.--But the greatest of all the difficulties about accepting the 85l. remained in my mind. It was this. The house had been sold for 90l. The whole amount had been put into the box, but, on the persuasion of the two brethren who were requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take back 5l. out of the 90l. I therefore said to myself, might she not be willing, after a time, to take back the whole 90l., how therefore can I feel happy in accepting this money. On this account I particularly laid stress upon this point, and now learned the circumstances under which she had been induced to take back this 5l.
The two brethren who had called for the purpose of pointing out the propriety of receiving back again the 90l., or part of it, told her that Barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that therefore she might receive at least part of the 90l. back again, if she would not take the whole. She then said to herself that, "as a child of God she might take the children's portion," and, as she had given to God this 90l., she might receive 5l. back again. She told me, that she considered the brethren had shown her from the Holy Scriptures what she might do, and therefore she had taken this 5l. I did not myself agree with the judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence that Barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported); but I purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be induced to give me this 5l. also. She had, however, this 5l. untouched, and showed it to me; and before leaving she would make me take 1l. of it for the benefit of the Orphans, which I did not refuse, as I had no intention to keep the 85l. She also gave me a sixpence for the Orphans, which some one had given her for herself, a few days before.