3. If you have not an opportunity of speaking to him in person, or cannot have access, you may do it by a messenger; by a common friend, in whose prudence, as well as uprightness, you can throughly confide. Such a person, speaking in your name, and in the spirit and manner above described, may answer the same end, and in a good degree supply your lack of service. Only beware you do not _feign_ the want of opportunity, in order to shun the cross; neither take it for granted, that you cannot have access, without ever making the trial. Whenever you can speak in your own person, it is far better. But you should rather do it by another than not at all: this way is better than none.
4. But what if you can neither speak yourself, nor find such a messenger as you can confide in? If this be really the case, it then only remains, to write. And there may be some circumstances, which make this the most advisable way of speaking. One of these circumstances is, when the person with whom we have to do, is of so warm and impetuous a temper, as does not easily bear reproof, especially from an equal or inferior. But it may be so introduced and softened in writing, as to make it far more tolerable. Besides, many will read the very same words, which they could not bear to hear. It does not give so violent a shock to their pride, nor so sensibly touch their honour. And suppose it makes little impression at first, they will perhaps give it a second reading, and upon farther consideration, lay to heart, what before they disregarded. If you add your name, this is nearly the same thing, as going to him, and speaking in person. And this should always be done, unless it be rendered improper by some very particular reason.
5. It should be well observed, not only that this is a step which our Lord absolutely commands us to take, but that he commands us to take this step first, before we attempt any other. No alternative is allowed, no choice of any thing else: this is the way; walk thou in it. It is true, he enjoins us, if need require, to take two other steps. But they are to be taken successively _after_ this step, and neither of them _before_ it. Much less are we to take any other step, either before, or beside this. To do any thing else, or not to do this, is therefore equally inexcusable.
6. Do not think to excuse yourself for taking an entirely different step, by saying, “Why, I did not speak to any one, ’till I was so _burdened_ that I could not refrain.” You was burdened! It was no wonder you should; unless your conscience was seared. For you was under the guilt of sin, of disobeying a plain commandment of God. You ought immediately to have gone and _told your brother of his fault between you and him alone_. If you did not, how should you be other than burdened (unless your heart was utterly hardened) while you was trampling the command of God under foot, and _hating your brother in your heart_? And what a way have you found to _unburden_ yourself? God reproves you for a sin of omission, for not telling your brother of his fault; and you comfort yourself under his reproof, by a sin of commission, by telling your brother’s fault to another person! Ease bought by sin is a dear purchase: I trust in God you will have no ease, but will be burdened so much the more, ’till you _go to your brother, and tell him_, and no one else.
7. I know but of one exception to this rule. There may be a peculiar case, wherein it is necessary to accuse the guilty tho’ absent, in order to preserve the innocent. For instance: you are acquainted with the design which a man has against the property or life of his neighbour. Now the case may be so circumstanced, that there is no other way of hindering that design from taking effect, but the making it known without delay, to him against whom it is laid. In this case therefore this rule is set aside, as is that of the apostle; _Speak evil of no man_: and it is lawful, yea it is our bounden duty, to speak evil of an absent person, in order to prevent his doing evil, to others and himself at the same time. But remember mean-while, that all evil-speaking is, in its own nature deadly poison. Therefore if you are sometimes constrained to use it as a medicine, yet use it with fear and trembling; seeing it is so dangerous a medicine, that nothing but absolute necessity can excuse your using it at all. Accordingly use it as seldom as possible; never but when there is such a necessity: and even then use as little of it as is possible; only so much as is necessary for the end proposed. At all other times, _go and tell him of his fault, between thee and him alone_.