They said: “You can; we take that upon ourselves.” I said: “Every one must stand for himself.” They said: “How can your master or your wife get into trouble; for they are gone already; what harm can it do the place where you were baptized?” “I think,” said the Bailiff, “that it took place at your master’s; but I do not know it for certain; and he that baptized, and he that married you, has left the king’s country, for it was so long ago.” The secretary’s servant also said to me: “Why will you conceal it? the pains are too great, and in the end you will do it after all, even as those of Breda.”
They concluded, that they would send me a learned man, who should prove to, or instruct, me with the Scriptures, that I could do it.
When they were assembled together in another place, the Bailiff asked, in what I was troubled. Thereupon the prior said: “You can well do it, and name your neighbor, for if you are the true people, they will then with you receive the crown of martyrdom; but since you are not, then also hate the wicked, even as God hates them.”
O abominable expositor! whose exposition tends only to destruction. O Lord God, convert their hearts, who thirst so greatly after innocent blood. As we could not agree, we separated.
The following day (which was Wednesday) I was brought forth again, and asked as before. I said, that I could not do it; my conscience did not allow it; if I did it, I think my heart would never be at rest; hence I would rather die with a peaceful heart, than live with a troubled conscience. The Scriptures teach us: Do to men as you would have them do unto you; love your wife; love your neighbor as yourself. Matt. 7:12; 22:39.
The Bailiff said: “You love your neighbor more than yourself.” I rejoined, that one ought to lay down his life for his brother. 1 John 3:16. When with many words, entreaties and threats they could get nothing out of me, the executioner again seized me, and I again humbly entreated my God, as before in the first conflict.
I was then stripped, and my hands tied behind my back; and I was much entreated, that I should do it. Thus I was drawn up, but not fastened below; I expected to be laid upon the rack.
When I had been drawn up, and could not answer according to their will (for the seed of God remained in me), he scourged me upon my lacerated skin, which caused me great pain. And he said: “How does this suit you? thus I will tear open your old wounds;” and he threatened me in an extraordinary manner. He then let me down again, and placed me before the lords, upon the rack, sitting with my eyes blindfolded, as an _Ecce Homo_.[330] And he asked, whether I would not yet tell it to my lords. I replied, that I could not do it; hence he drew me up again, which caused me great pain; and when he shook me, and jerked the rope, the pain was increased. When they could obtain nothing from me, they let me down, and gave me time for consideration till the next day. But while I was suspended, the Bailiff said: “Your face is as sweet as that of an angel, but your heart is harder than Pharaoh’s heart.” I said: “This is not so; and the Lord will make it manifest hereafter; I have in my simplicity sought my salvation.”
[330] Behold the man! John 19:5.
And when the executioner began to dress me, I said to him: “O friend, how you have treated me; you have not for a long time thus treated a rogue, who felt it so long afterwards as I.” Then he answered, saying: “They confess, but you will not confess; and the weather is cold, and it cannot come so quickly.”