"My dear Agnes, you must take Him to be your Father and Guide. Tell Him all that is in your heart, and make Him your confidant. His ear is ever open, and He despiseth not the humblest sigh. He is your best friend and loves at all times. It is not enough to be a servant, you must be a friend of Jesus. Love Him and surrender your entire being to Him. The more you trust Him, casting all your care upon Him, the more He is pleased, and He will so guide you that your life will be for his own glory. The Lord be with you. My kind love to Grandma and to all your friends. I hope your eyes are better, and that you are able to read books for yourself. Tell Tom that we caught a young elephant in coming down the Shiré, about the size of the largest dog he ever saw, but one of the Makololo, in a state of excitement, cut its trunk, so that it bled very much, and died in two days. Had it lived we should have sent it to the Queen, as no African elephant was ever seen in England. No news from mamma and Oswell.
Another evidence of the place of his children in his thoughts is found in the following lines in his Journal:
"_20th June_, 1859.--I cannot and will not attribute any of the public attention which has been awakened to my own wisdom or ability. The great Power being my Helper, I shall always say that my success is all owing to his favor. I have been the channel of the Divine Power, and I pray that his gracious influence may penetrate me so that all may turn to the advancement of his gracious reign in this fallen world.
"Oh, may the mild influence of the Eternal Spirit enter the bosoms of my children, penetrate their souls, and diffuse through their whole natures the everlasting love of God in Jesus Christ! Holy, gracious, almighty Power, I hide myself in Thee through Thy almighty Son. Take my children under Thy care. Purify them and fit them for Thy service. Let the beams of the Sun of Righteousness produce spring, summer, and harvest in them for Thee."
The short trip from Kongone to Tette and back was marked by some changes in the composition of the party. The Kroomen being found to be useless, were shipped on board a man-of-war. The services of two members of the Expedition were also dispensed with, as they were not found to be promoting its ends. Livingstone would not pay the public money to men who, he believed, were not thoroughly earning it. To these troubles was added the constantly increasing mortification arising from the state of the ship.
It has sometimes been represented, in view of such facts as have just been recorded, that Livingstone was imperious and despotic in the management of other men, otherwise he and his comrades would have got on better together. The accusation, even at first sight, has an air of improbability, for Livingstone's nature was most kindly, and it was the aim of his life to increase enjoyment. In explanation of the friction on board his ship it must be remembered that his party were a sort of scratch crew brought together without previous acquaintance or knowledge of each other's ways; that the heat and the mosquitoes, the delays, the stoppages on sandbanks, the perpetual struggle for fuel[59], the monotony of existence, with so little to break it, and the irritating influence of the climate, did not tend to smooth their tempers or increase the amenities of life. The malarious climate had a most disturbing effect. No one, it is said, who has not experienced it, could imagine the sensation of misery connected with the feverish attacks so common in the low districts. And Livingstone had difficulties in managing his countrymen he had not in managing the natives. He was so conscientious, so deeply in earnest, so hard a worker himself, that he could endure nothing that seemed like playing or trifling with duty. Sometimes, too, things were harshly represented to him, on which a milder construction might have been put. One of those with whom he parted at this time afterward rejoined the Expedition, his pay being restored on Livingstone's intercession. Those who continued to enjoy his friendship were never weary of speaking of his delightful qualities as a companion in travel, and the warm sunshine which he had the knack of spreading around.