_Hopeful._ They also gave us a note of direction about the way; but we forgot to read it, else we should have _kept ourselves from the paths of the destroyer_. Thus they lay bewailing themselves in the net, when they saw a shining one coming toward them, with a whip of small cords in his hand. He asked, What do ye here? They answered, We were led out of the way by a black man cloathed in white. He is a _flatterer_, said he, _a false apostle, Satan transformed into an angel of light_. So he rent the net, and said, “Follow me;” and led them back into the way they had left. Then he asked them, “Did not the shepherds on the mountains give you a note of the way? Why did you not read it? And did they not bid you beware of the flatterer?” They were speechless. So he commanded them to lie down, and chastised them sore, saying, _As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten; be zealous therefore and repent_.
I saw then in my dream, that they arose and went on, until they came into a country, whose air naturally tended to make one drowsy. And here _Hopeful_ began to be very heavy, and said to _Christian_, “I can scarce hold open my eyes; let us lie down and sleep awhile.”
_Christian._ By no means, lest we wake no more.
_Hopeful._ Why, my brother? _The sleep of a labouring man is sweet._
_Christian._ Do you not remember the caution of the shepherd, sleep not on inchanted ground?
_Hopeful._ I acknowledge my fault. I see it is true, as the wise man saith, _Two are better than one_.
_Christian._ To prevent drowsiness then, let us discourse a little together. How came you at first to look after the good of your soul?
_Hopeful._ For a long time I delighted in those things which are seen and sold at our fair, in the riches and pleasures of the world, till I heard from _Faithful_ and you, that _the end of these things is death_.
_Christian._ But was you fully convinced of this at once?
_Hopeful._ No; I strove to stifle my convictions; and when my mind was shaken with the word of God, laboured to shut my eyes against the light.
_Christian._ How so?
_Hopeful._ I knew not that this was the work of God upon me, but called it _lowness of spirits_; and sin was so sweet to me, that I was loth to leave it; besides, I could not tell how to part with my old companions.
_Christian._ Then it seems you shook off your troubles sometimes.
_Hopeful._ Yes; but it came again worse than before.
_Christian._ What was it that brought your sins to your mind again?
_Hopeful._ Many things: as, if I met but a good man in the street; or if I heard one read the bible; or, if my head began to ake; or, if I was told of any that was sick; or, if I heard the bell toll for one that was dead; or, if I thought of dying myself or heard of a sudden death: but, above all, when I thought I must quickly come to judgment.
_Christian._ But could you not shake off your thoughts?
_Hopeful._ No; they got faster hold upon me, till I could have no rest in sin.
_Christian._ And how did you then?
_Hopeful._ I thought I must mend my life; and so I did, leaving my old sins and company too. Likewise I began to read, and pray, and fast, and go to church, and to the sacrament, and to do good. And now for a time I thought all was well; but it was not long before my trouble came again.
_Christian._ How so? Had you not reformed your life?
_Hopeful._ Yes; but I had not reformed my heart. I found that was still as bad, or worse than ever; full of anger, pride, lust, and what not? I found my _inward parts were very wickedness_; that I was _earthly, sensual, and devilish_, having still a _carnal mind that was enmity against God_, and _brought me into captivity to sin and death_. I saw more and more, that there _dwelt in me no good thing_; no love of God; no true love of my neighbour. Above all, I was convinced I had not faith; not _that faith which overcometh the world_: and that was always sounding in my ears, _He that believeth not shall be damned_.
_Christian._ And what effect had this?
_Hopeful._ I then remembered that it is written, _All our righteousness is as filthy rags_, availing nothing toward our reconciliation with God, or the forgiveness of our sins. I saw that all I could do all my life long, would not atone for one sin that was past; nay, though I could now keep all God’s law, and offend in no point. For if a man (thought I) runs a hundred pounds into a merchant’s debt, and after that pays for all that he takes; yet if this old debt stands still in the book uncrossed, the merchant may sue him, and cast him into prison, till he shall pay the whole.
_Christian._ How did you apply this to yourself?
_Hopeful._ Why I thought with myself, I have by sin run far in debt with God, and my reforming now will not pay that debt. How then shall I be freed from that damnation, to which I know myself to be justly exposed, by my former transgressions?