Besides, I still saw sin mixing itself with the best actions I could do: So that I was forced to conclude, that, notwithstanding my former opinion of myself, I committed sin enough in one day to send me to hell, though my former life had been faultless.
_Christian._ And what did you do then?
_Hopeful._ I knew not what to do, till I went and talked with _Faithful_; who told me, unless I had an interest in the righteousness of one that had never sinned, neither my own righteousness, nor all the righteousness of the world, could save me. I asked, who it was that had never sinned? He answered, “the Lord Jesus: and you only can be forgiven and accepted with God through faith in his blood.” “But how, said I, can _his_ righteousness justify _me_ before God?” He told me, he was the mighty God, and did what he did, and died the death also, not for himself, but for _me_; to whom the merits of all should be imputed, if I believe on him. I replied, “I did not think he was willing to save _me_.” He bid me go to him and see. I said, “It was presumption.” He answered, “No; for I was invited to come.” Then I asked, what must I do when I come? And he bid me say to this effect: “God be merciful to me a sinner, and make me to know and believe in Jesus; for I see, if I have not faith in his blood, I am utterly cast away. Lord, I have heard, that thou art a merciful God, and hast ordained him to be the Saviour of the world; and moreover, that thou art willing to accept, in him, even such a poor sinner as I am. O magnify thy grace in the salvation of my soul, through thy Son Jesus Christ!”
_Christian._ And did you do this?
_Hopeful._ Yes, over and over, before I found any relief.
_Christian._ Had you not thoughts then of giving it over?
_Hopeful._ Yes, a hundred times; but I knew not what else to do, being convinced, that without Christ, all the world could not save me; and therefore, thought I with myself, if I leave off, I die; and I can but die, if I continue. And withal this came into my mind, _If it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not tarry_.
_Christian._ And how was you relieved?
*_Hopeful._ One day I was very sad, I think sadder than ever before in my life, and this sadness was through a fresh sight of the greatness and vileness of my sins; and I was looking for nothing but hell, when suddenly I saw (not with my bodily eyes) the Lord look down from heaven upon me, saying, _Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved_.
Then those scriptures came like a flood into my heart. _He that cometh to me, shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me, shall never thirst. Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth. He hath died for our sins, and rose again for our justification. There is one mediator between God and man, even the man Christ Jesus. Wherefore he is able to save unto the uttermost those that come unto God through him; seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them._
_Christian._ And what effect had this upon your spirit and life?
_Hopeful._ I was filled with _a peace that passeth all understanding. I rejoiced with joy unspeakable. The love of God was shed abroad in my heart; and sin had no more dominion over me_; but _I ran the way of his commandments, now he had set my heart at liberty_.
I saw then in my dream, that _Hopeful_ looked back, and saw _Ignorance_, whom he had left behind, coming after. Then, said he come away, man: why do you stay behind? Come, how do you do? How stands it now between God and your soul?
_Ignorance._ I hope well, for I am full of good thoughts.
_Christian._ What good thoughts?
_Ignorance._ Why, I think of God and heaven.
_Christian._ So do the devils and damned souls.
_Ignorance._ But I desire them too.
_Christian._ So do many that never came there. _The soul of the sluggard desireth and hath nothing._
_Ignorance._ Nay but I leave all for them.
_Christian._ I doubt that. Why dost thou think so?
_Ignorance._ My heart tells me so.
_Christian._ _He that trusteth his own heart, is a fool._
_Ignorance._ Ay if his heart be evil; but mine is good.
_Christian._ How dost thou prove that?
_Ignorance._ Why I lead a good life.
_Christian._ Who told thee thou leadest a good life?
_Ignorance._ Who told me! My own heart.
_Christian._ Ask my fellow if I be a thief. Thy heart tells thee so! Except the word of God bear witness in this matter, other testimony is nothing worth.
Hast thou the peace of God? Hast thou joy in the Holy Ghost? Is the love of God shed abroad in thy heart? Doth his Spirit witness with thy spirit, that thou art a child of God? Hast thou redemption in Christ’s blood, the forgiveness of thy sins? Art thou dead unto sin, and alive unto God? Hast thou crucified the flesh, with its affections and lusts? Hath the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, made thee free from the law of sin and death?