To some, he said, “My living in an alehouse exposed me to much evil company, and I was forced to hear much cursing and swearing, to which I myself was too much addicted. This with my living in uncleanness, made me forget God; so that God for my manifold sins, left me to commit the crime, for which I am justly to lose my life. But I have no cause to complain, since God hath made me repent, and see the evil of my ways in my chains: and glory be to his name, he hath set my soul at liberty. Oh! blessed be his name for his unspeakable goodness to me, so vile and wretched a sinner, for he hath enabled me to repent with a repentance not to be repented of. I formerly took great pleasure in committing sin, but now I hate the very thoughts of sin; and I really believe (by God’s grace) I could not commit a sin to gain a kingdom.”
After the person, by whom he was first convinced, had been with him, he cryed out, “Oh, that he could be with me always, then would my prison be a palace, and my confinement better than liberty!――*But, why do I want a man to be with me? Have I not the presence of God with me? Have I not communion with Jesus Christ? And that is more valuable than all the helps and conversation of poor sinful man.”
Being informed there was a minister belonging to the gaol, who would help him in his addresses to the Almighty God:
He answered, “Why don’t he then? Why don’t he come and instruct me? Why don’t he wrestle with God for me? I see no regard paid to the immortal souls of any that are confined here. They are running head-long to hell, and no one seeks to stop them. None prays with; none admonishes, reproves, exhorts them: but he that is filthy, is left to be filthy still. What! Have the prisoners in _Newgate_, immortal souls! And yet no one regardeth them? Are they so good as not to need reproof and admonition? Or are they so bad as to be past recovery? Who can tell, but by frequent, earnest and heart-searching preaching, God might reach some hellish sinner here, as he reached me in _Bridewell_? And shall the servants of the Most High God be forbid to preach in _Newgate_!――――What! forbid to preach to the servants of the devil!――――Servants of the devil, did I say? Devils incarnate; but yet they are not blacker than I: and the blood of Christ hath reached me, and the same blood can cleanse the most defiled and vilest sinner here.――――Lord, pity us in _Newgate_, and send some one to preach thy word; and do thou make it effectual to reach their hearts.”
When he was brought to the bar, he said but little; only pleaded guilty to the indictment: but when he received sentence of death, with an audible voice, he said, “Though I stand condemned at the bar of man, I shall be acquitted at the bar of God; for he hath forgiven me all my sins, and assured me of his glory.”
After his return back to prison, he was solid and serious, yet remarkably chearful: crying out “What a vile wretch am I; and yet God for his Son’s sake hath pardoned me, and I shall stand before his throne, and praise him for ever; for I am an heir of God, and a joint heir with Jesus Christ; a citizen of _Zion_, and a companion with saints and angels to all eternity: Oh, how do I long to die, that I may be with Jesus Christ, who is my lot and portion: Oh, the happiness I shall enjoy when I have left this clay! O, help me, sir, to glorify God: I do praise him; but shew me how to do it more and more, and more still: I cannot do it enough till I come to heaven, and I shall not do it enough then.――*Blessed be God for what I have experienced in these cells: these dark and dismal cells have been light and pleasant places to me; for I have had the prospect of eternal glory; and have seen that eternal glory reserved for _me_! Thither, thither, am I going: I have but one storm to endure, and I shall be in harbour for ever.”
One asked, “Whither he should not be glad of a reprieve, and whither he had not hopes of not being included in the dead warrant?”
He reply’d, “My flesh and blood desire life, but my soul longs to be where death shall be no more. Welcome life; and welcome death: if I am reprieved, I shall bless God; and if I am included in the dead warrant, I shall still praise and magnify his name.”
One inquiring “Whether he had any to make intercession for him?”
He replied, “I have no one on earth to intercede in my behalf: but I have one in the court of heaven, who hath interceeded for me, and obtained my pardon. My pardon is sealed above, and sealed with the broad seal of king Jesus; that shall abide to all eternity!――――Jesus is my friend, and he will prepare a place for me.”
The two persons that were condemned for murder seeing his seriousness, and the time he spent in singing and prayer; cursed him for “Making such-a-do, about nothing,” (as they termed it) and said to him, “Why, we shall only be hanged.”
“Only be hanged (says he) and is not that bad enough, to die in ones youth and vigour, such a shameful death?”