He replied, “Because Jesus Christ hath washed away my sins in his own blood; and I am justified by his grace: my sins are blotted out of the book of his remembrance.”
It was asked again, “How he knew that Christ had taken away his sins, and that he was washed in his blood.”
*He replied: “As a lost and undone sinner, I have laid hold on Jesus Christ by faith: I rest the whole of my salvation upon him: I have believed in him: and he hath adopted me into his family: the Spirit of God bears witness with my spirit, that I am a child of God. Thus I know that all my sins are pardoned, and let death come when it will, I am ready; for I am assured, as soon as this body is dead, my soul will be with Jesus in paradise.”
One present said, “That we need be cautious of deceiving our own souls, and advised him to be modest in his expressions: for many who had made a great profession for many years, could not speak with such confidence as he did.”
He answered, “I speak it from a certainty of the thing; that which I _see_ and _feel_, I testify unto you.”
*“Sir, If these heavy irons were removed from me, should not I be sensible of it; and could not I by experience declare to others that my irons were removed, and my legs were at liberty? Would not the alteration I felt, be a sufficient foundation to assert the satisfaction I found by the removal of them? Why thus it was lately with my soul: it was fettered down to sin: I was a slave to my lusts, and I could no more get rid of my sins, than I can of these irons. But while I was fearing and expecting to be cast into hell every moment, Jesus Christ came and knocked off my irons, my sins: he shut the doors of hell, and opened the doors of heaven; and set my soul at liberty. God has made me, who was a slave of the devil, to be a subject of Christ. I am brought from my lusts and pleasures, which I loved, to love nothing else but Jesus Christ. And can such an alteration be wrought in my soul, and I be ignorant thereof?――――O blessed be God, this change fills me with joy: I am full of joy: joy, not to be expressed: for Christ loves me, and I love Christ, and I shall shortly be with him for ever.”
One saying, he had a heavy pair of irons on, “Oh! (says he) these are the cursed fruits of sin: this is the honour the devil’s servants have: these are the badges that declare to whom I did belong, and tell what dirty work I have been engaged in. Ah, cursed sin, that exposes us to such misery here, and to ten thousand times ten thousand worse hereafter! *It was my sins that brought me here; and my sins made me liable to be the devil’s prisoner, in the dreadful prison of hell for ever: but the Lord hath spread all my sins before my face, that I may see the magnitude and the multitude of them; and then he blowed them away with a blast of his Holy Spirit. All my sins appeared before me, and they looked like the devil from whence they came: but then Jesus Christ cast them all behind his back, and made me whiter than driven snow in his presence.”
Being advised to plead, not guilty, when called to the bar, and told, perhaps it might save his life:
*He replied: “I will not tell a lie to save ten thousand lives. It is true, life is sweet, but the love and favour of God is sweeter to me than life itself: how do I know, but while I am telling of a lie to save my life, I may be struck dead, and lose my precious soul for ever? I shall therefore plead guilty: not with a design to obtain the favour of man thereby: for I expect, I deserve none; but because I would not offend God, and grieve his Holy Spirit.”
A by-stander asked him, Whether he was willing to die?
He said, “When I consult with flesh and blood, it seems hard to leave the world in the bloom of my youth; but when I consider I am going to him whom my soul loves, then I long to be dissolved, and to be with Christ Jesus.”
This, with much more to the same import, he uttered, with a chearful countenance, and with such an humble, yet confident boldness, as filled all with admiration that heard him.
A Roman Catholic, being present, could not believe that it was possible for any one to know his sins were forgiven; but acknowledged he believed _Matthew_ to be a pious young man, and that if it was to be known here, he did know it.
A near relation being of the same opinion, as to the knowledge of the forgiveness of sins, he said, “Believe me, as I shortly expect to die, and look on myself as a dying man, I am positive God for Christ’s sake hath pardoned all my sins; and I am not afraid to face death, for death cannot hurt me.”