This holy minister praying with him, his soul was ravished with the abundant incomes of light, life, and love; so that he could scarce bear the thought of staying longer in the world, but longed to be in such a condition, wherein he should be better able to bear that weight of glory; some manifestations whereof did almost sink his weak body. Indeed had he not been sustained by a great power, his very joys would have overwhelmed him. While he was in these extasies of joy and love, he was wont to cry out:
‘Who am I, Lord, who am I, that thou shouldst be mindful of me! Why me, Lord, why me! Oh, what shall I say unto thee, thou preserver of men! Oh why me, Lord, why me! If thou wilt look upon such a poor worm, who can hinder! Who would not love thee! Oh blessed Father? How sweet and gracious hast thou been unto me!’
*‘Stand astonished, ye heavens, and wonder, O ye angels, at his infinite grace! Was ever any under heaven more beholding to free grace than I? Doth God use to do thus with his creatures? Admire him for ever and ever, Oh ye redeemed ones! Oh those joys, the taste of which I have! The everlasting joys, which are at his right hand for evermore! Eternity, eternity itself is too short to praise this God in. O bless the Lord with me, come let us shout for joy, and boast in the God of our salvation. Oh, help me to praise the Lord, for his mercy endureth for ever.’
One of his brethren (that had formerly been wrought upon by his holy exhortations) praying with him, and seeing him (as he apprehended) near his dissolution, desired that the Lord would be pleased to continue those astonishing comforts to the last moment, that he might go from one heaven to another; and when his work was done here, might have an easy and triumphant passage to rest.
Mean time he talked as if he had been in the third heaven, and broke out:
‘Oh, he is come! He is come! O how sweet! How glorious is the blessed Jesus! What shall I do to speak the thousandth part of his praises! Oh for words, to set out a little of that excellency! But it is inexpressible! Oh how excellent, glorious and lovely is the precious Jesus! He is sweet, he is altogether lovely! And now I am sick of love, he hath ravished my soul with his beauty! I shall die sick of love!
‘Oh my friends, stand by and wonder, come look upon a dying man, and wonder; I cannot myself but stand and wonder! Was there ever a greater kindness; was there ever sensibler manifestations of rich grace! Oh, why me! Lord, why me! Sure this is akin to heaven, and if I were never to enjoy any more than this: it were well worth all the torments that men and devils could invent, to come through even hell to such transcendent joys. If this be dying, let no true Christian ever be afraid of dying. Oh death is sweet to me. This bed is soft. Christ’s arms and kisses, his smiles and visits, would turn hell into heaven. Oh that you did but see and feel what I do! Come and behold a dying man, more chearful than ever you saw an healthful man in the midst of his sweetest enjoyments. Oh Sirs, worldly pleasures are poor, sorry things, compared with one glimpse of this glory, which shines in so strongly into my soul! Oh why should any of you be so sad, when I am glad: this, this is the hour that I have waited for!’
About eight and forty hours before his death, his eyes were dim, and his sight failed; his jaws shook and trembled, and his feet were cold, and all the symptoms of death were upon him. His extreme parts were already dead, and yet, his joys were (if possible) greater still. He seemed to be in one continued act of seraphic love and praise. He spake like one that was just entring into the gates of the new _Jerusalem_: the greatest part of him was now in heaven; not a word dropt from his mouth but it breathed Christ and heaven.
Then he would give instructions to them that came to see him. He was scarce ever silent, because the love of Christ and souls constrained him. There was so much work done for Christ in his last hours, that he did as much in one hour as some do in a year.
Every person had a faithful affectionate warning. And that good minister, that was so much with him, used this as an argument to persuade him to be willing to live a little longer, “God hath something for thee to do that is yet undone; some word of exhortation to some poor soul, that you have forgot.”
He was wont every evening to take his leave of his friends, hoping not to see them till the morning of the resurrection; and he desired that they would make sure of a comfortable meeting at our Father’s house in that other world.