*3. Hence God shewed me, that it was to be expected, and was indeed inevitable, that a great opposition, should be every where made to his gospel; that this opposition would principally be by pretenders to wisdom, and learned men; that their objections must be against all the concernments of the gospel, the matter, manner, means of it; all being opposite to their expectation, and that therefore it was no wonder to see some stumble at the cross, some at the preaching, some at the preachers; that it was to be expected their objections would be specious, as being suited to the wisdom of men, the natural apprehension of all who were not brought to a compliance with the grand design of God. _Lastly_, That it was impossible for any man, who was not brought to be a fool in his own eyes, to be wise in the things of God, or to discern and approve of the conduct of God in this whole matter.
4. Upon this discovery I was fully satisfied, that the opposition of learned men, and their unsuccessfulness in their enquiries, was so far from being a just prejudice to, that it was a strong confirmation of the truths of religion; and on the other hand, that though they were, in the wisdom of God, hid from the wise and prudent, yet babes might have a clear discovery thereof, because it had pleased the father to reveal these things to them.
5. Another common objection, which had made, at some times, a considerable impression upon my mind, was, that the scriptures are contrary to reason. I shall just point at the springs of my relief.
_First_, I was long before fixed in a deep, rational conviction of the shortness of human knowledge, and that there was no truth which we receive, whether upon the evidence of metaphysical, mathematical, or moral principles, or even on the evidence of our senses, against which there lay not insoluble objections. Yet no man questioned those truths; nor though we endeavoured it ever so much, could we doubt of many of them. And as this was one of the most considerable fruits of my studies in philosophy, so it was of use to me many ways; it made me see through the vanity of that pretence against the truths revealed by God, that there lie unanswerable objections against them. This I plainly saw ought not to shake my assent, if I found sufficient evidence for them; especially as I was convinced, ’twas reasonable to expect more inextricable difficulties about truths supernaturally revealed than others, since they lie farther out of our reach. Therefore, when any such occurred, I was led rather to suspect my own ignorance than the truths of God.
*_Secondly_, God had before fixed in me the faith of his incomprehensibility, and fully convinced me, that I could not know him to perfection. He let me see, that _his ways are not our ways_, so that I durst not any more attempt to measure him, or his ways, by my short line, but in all things I relied in the resolution of his word. _To the law and to the testimony_ I brought all, and where that clearly interposed, my soul was now taught fully to acquiesce in, and stand to its determination.
_Thirdly_, When the enemy strongly attacked any particular truth, and I could not instantly solve his objections, I was much relieved by a view of the multiplied testimonies of the word, all running the same way. And when by consulting interpreters, especially critics, I was darkened rather than cleared, I had recourse to the scope of the words, and the plain meaning that first occurred, with an humble dependance on God for his light.
*_Fourthly_, If for a time, by the subtle perversion of some scriptures, I could not find the true meaning of them, the analogy of faith staid my mind, till I could recover those particular passages out of the enemy’s hand. When God manifested himself to me, he gave me a view of his whole design in the revelation he had made of himself, and of the harmonious consent and concurrence of all the doctrines of the gospel, in promoting that design. He shewed me likewise, how the end and the means were so closely linked together, that one of these truths could not be overturned, but all the rest would follow. Whenever therefore any of them was controverted, its connexion with the other truths, uniformly and plainly attested by the current of scripture, presented itself; and my mind was satisfied, this could not fall without they all fell together. This I take to be the analogy of faith, and herein I often took sanctuary.
6. I before mentioned what a continual bondage I was long in, through fear of death; I shall now give some account of my relief from this also.
_First_, The Lord’s mercy manifested in Christ freed me from this spirit of bondage, and gave me a taste of the liberty of the sons of God. He in great measure removed the grounds whereon I most feared it, _viz._ Sin the sting of death, and want of evidence about the reality of future things.