12. He had no eager desire even of sensible consolations; touching which, he expressed himself thus, “Dryness, and other troubles of spirit, are to be borne with upon any terms, and we must give up ourselves as forlorn creatures, throwing ourselves wholly upon God.” And again, “however dry your soul may be, when you endeavour to place it in a state of reverence and affiance in the presence of God, persevere still as much as you can, and keep yourself shut up in the cabinet of your heart; suffer not the noise of all those tempests without; be still, and mind them not. They have all their use; they serve to purge the soul, and dispose it for the operation of God upon it. Let then distractions, and all sorts of imaginations assault you, as it pleaseth God, but let them not hinder you from that holy exercise; diverting (as you are able) your mind from them, continue your sacrifice, with full assurance you shall not wait long, before your Lord come.” And when he found himself for a time, in such a condition, he would cry out aloud, “I am thine, O God, in spite of all these things, and so I will continue without reserve for ever.” And sometimes he would write with his finger upon the ground, “I am content with every thing that proceeds from the will of God: I ask nothing else but what he appoints for me; I will never trouble myself to be freed from dryness; my resolution is, to bless God at all times.”
*13. Lastly, He was dead to his own will, which he had perfectly resigned, in conformity to the will of God. “Far be it from me, saith he in one of his letters, to act in this by my own spirit; I would have it wholly annihilated, that it might know no other language but nothing, and continually nothing; to follow in all the footsteps of the divine will, according to its measure and manner.” In another thus: “My Saviour hath graciously brought me to such a state of indifferency for every thing that I could be well contented, all my life, to be fix’d to my bed, a paralytic, not able to stir, without making any reflection on any service I might render to my neighbour, or that I could render him no more: all things according to the will of God, being equal to me.” And in a third: “Of late I have been busied in such employments as were sufficient to have overwhelmed so weak a spirit as mine, had it not been absolutely resigned to the will of God. It is on him alone I rest, having renounced myself. I adore the decrees of his sacred will, who holdeth all things in his own hands, to keep us subject unto him by his justice, and to sanctify us by his love: happy, if we have the hearts of children, the spirit of Christ Jesus, to sigh after him, and cry continually, _Abba Father_.”