“I was moreover deeply convinced how possible, yea easy it is, for a person after having received great light, love, power, and joy, to fall notwithstanding, into a certain dulness of soul; and that holy desires, vehement thirstings after God, and the spirit of prayer, may be lessened, and lost. Truly we can keep nothing unless the _Holy Ghost_ help our infirmities continually.
*“But the grand lesson of all which in this little interval I learned was, the absolute necessity of being free from persons, things, and places. I saw what a tendency the soul has to rest in something beside God; I saw that even when we give up our beloved sins, and all temporal things, we are nevertheless apt to rest in the gifts and graces of God; making them as it were our Saviour, and comforter instead of Christ.”
*“I saw farther, how deeply the love of life and learning had been rooted in my heart: and that God saw it necessary to correct me often, to shew me the vanity of both.”
*“I believe he is resolved to save my soul to the uttermost; and he uses various ways to accomplish this end. I believe this sickness will be of great service to my soul, and perhaps of more use to the children of God, than my labours could be. My desire is only to live wholly to him, and to get more of the love and life of Christ. Lord look upon me, a weak and unconstant man, and strengthen, and establish my heart with thy love.
“In exhorting the believers, I found much of divine consolation. O how sweet were these two hours; and how short! Love is a wonderful thing.”
_Sunday 26._ I was in a high fever, yet when I got with the family, I forgot my pain, while we conversed of the love of God. It being _Easter-day_, I examined what I had gained since last _Easter_? And I trust God has given me more humility, patience, and likeness to himself.”
He was detained at _Bristol_, thro’ his illness, longer than he had intended; and was but slightly recovered, when he was told of a ship, just ready to sail for _Cork_. Being resolved on the journey, and willing to embrace the very first opportunity, weak as he was, he embarked at _Pill_ on the 13th of _April_. The passage was ♦extremely dangerous; insomuch, that the mariners themselves, looked for nothing less than perishing, so boisterous were the winds and the seas. But see the blessedness of being true believers in Christ! *Tho’ they expected every moment to go to the bottom of the great deep; “Yet God, says he, gave me more faith, and patience, and joy, than ever I felt before. I could not see death terrible to me. I prayed, and praised God incessantly; for sleep I could not an hour while on board; and neither could I eat. But Christ was with me in all, and supported me. I pleaded with the Lord in behalf of the passengers, beseeching him that he would not take them away in their sins. They cried out vehemently, ‘We are not fit to die!’ On their account I did not desire to sleep; I cried aloud to God in prayer in the cabbin; and they gladly attended _then_. On _Saturday_ the wind abated, and the next day we landed safe in _Cork_.”
♦ “extremly” replaced with “extremely”
*On my hearing of his arrival (being then in the county, and it being many months, since we parted at _London_) I hastened to see him; and can never forget the idea, which the first sight of him gave me, of a man in deep _fellowship with_ God. On my opening his room door, and just appearing, he got up from his chair, being in deep contemplation, and with a spirit and countenance, composed and solemn as the grave, he said with a low voice, ‘God bless you.’ We embraced each other with tears; after which kneeling down, he prayed, as to a _present_ God indeed! with such melting and moving expressions, and with such reverential confidence, as surpassed all that I had known and admired in him before; and plainly discovered his having entered since we parted, much further into _the holiest, by the blood of_ JESUS.