But it is the passion of grief as in its excess that I am now to speak against. And it is in excess, 1. When we grieve for that which we ought not at all to grieve for; that is, either for some good, or for a thing indifferent that is neither good nor bad; both which come from the error of the mind. 2. When we grieve too much for that which we may grieve for lawfully in some measure; that is, for our own afflictions or penal suffering. 3. When we grieve too much for that which we are bound to grieve for in some measure: as (1.) For our sin. (2.) For our loss of the favour of God, or of his grace and Spirit. (3.) For other men's sin and suffering. (4.) For the sufferings of the church, and calamities of the world. (5.) For God's dishonour.[359]
Though it is not easy to have too much sorrow for sin, considering it estimatively; that is, we can hardly take sin for a worse evil than it is, and accordingly grieve for it; yet it is oft too easy to have too much sorrow for sin, or any other evil intensively as to the greatness of the passion. And thus sorrow for sin is too great, 1. When it distracteth the mind, and overturneth reason, and it is made unfit for the ends of sorrow. 2. When it so cloudeth and clotheth the soul in grief, that it maketh us unfit to see and consider of the promise, to relish mercy, or believe it; to acknowledge benefits, or own grace received, or be thankful for it; to feel the love of God, or love him for it, to praise him, or to mind him, or to call upon him; when it driveth the soul from God, and weakeneth it to duty, and teacheth it to deny mercy, and sinketh it towards despair; all this is too much and sinful sorrow: and so is all that doth the soul more hurt than good; for sorrow is not good of itself, but as it doth good, or showeth good.
_Direct._ I. Keep your hearts as true and close to God as possible, and make sure of his love, that you may know you have not an unregenerate, miserable soul to mourn for, and then all other grief is the more curable and more tolerable. Be once able to say that God is on your side, that Christ, and the Spirit, and heaven are yours, and then you have the greatest cordial against excessive grief that this world affords. If you say, How should this be done? I answer, that it is opened in its proper place. No marvel if sorrow overwhelm that soul, that is in the chains of sin, under the curse of God, as soon as awakened conscience comes to feel it. And it is most miserable when it hath the smallest sorrow; there being some hope that sorrow may drive it home to Christ. Therefore if thou have been a secure, unhumbled, carnal wretch, and God be now beginning to humble thee, by showing thee thy sin and misery, take heed, as thou lovest thy soul, that thou drive not away necessary, healing sorrow and repentance, under pretence of driving away melancholy or over-much sorrow; thy smart tendeth to thy hopes of cure.
_Direct._ II. Renew not the wounds of conscience by renewed, wilful, gross sin. For sin will bring sorrow, especially if thou have any life of grace to feel it: even as falls, and breaking the bones, bring pain. Obey carefully if thou wouldst have peace.
_Direct._ III. Be well acquainted with the general grounds of hope in the mercy of God, the office and death of Christ, and the free, universal offer of pardon, grace, and life in the new covenant. Abundance of grief doth dwell in many humbled souls, through the ignorance of these general grounds of comfort; which would vanish away if these were known.
_Direct._ IV. Know well the true nature and use of godly sorrow; how it is but a means to higher grace, and a thing which may exceed, and not a thing that we should stop in, or think we can never have too much of it. Desire it but in its place, and to its proper ends.
_Direct._ V. Know well the nature and excellency of those higher graces which sorrow tendeth to; even love, and thankfulness, and delight in God, and fruitful obedience. And then you will be carried after these, and will learn to hate the sorrow that hindereth them, and to cherish that sorrow which leadeth you up to them, and to value it but as a means to them.