_Direct._ VI. Avoid all revengeful and provoking words. When the poison of asps is under men's lips, (Rom. iii. 13,) no wonder if the hearers' minds that are not sufficiently antidoted against it, fester. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, Prov. xviii. 21. When the tongue is as a sword, yea, a sharp sword, (Psal. lvii. 4,) and when it is purposely whetted, (Psal. lxiv. 3,) no marvel if it pierce and wound them that are unarmed. But "by long forbearing a prince is persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone," Prov. xxv. 15. A railer is numbered with those that a christian must not eat with, 1 Cor. v. For christianity is so much for peace, that it abhorreth all that is against it. Our Lord when he was reviled, reviled not again, and in this was our example, 1 Pet. ii. 21, 23. A scorning, railing, reproachful tongue, "is set (as James saith, iii. 6.) on fire of hell, and it setteth on fire the course of nature;" even persons, families, churches, and commonwealths. Many a ruined society may say by experience, "Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth," James iii. 5.
_Direct._ VII. Engage not yourselves too forwardly or eagerly in disputes, nor at any time without necessity: and when necessity calleth you, set an extraordinary watch upon your passions. Though disputing is lawful, and sometimes necessary to defend the truth, yet it is seldom the way of doing good to those whom you dispute with: it engageth men in partiality, and passionate, provoking words, before they are aware; and while they think they are only pleading for the truth, they are militating for the honour of their own understandings. They that will not stoop to hear you as learners, while you orderly open the truth in its coherent parts, will hardly ever profit by your contendings, when you engage a proud person to bend all his wit and words against you. The servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle to all men, apt to teach, &c. 2 Tim. ii. 24.[154]
_Direct._ VIII. Have as little to do with men, in matters which their commodity is concerned in, as you can. As in chaffering, or in any other thing where mine and thine is much concerned: for few men are so just as not to expect that which others account unjust; and the nearest friends have been alienated hereby.
_Direct._ IX. Buy peace at the price of any thing which is not better than it. Not with the loss of the favour of God, or of our innocency, or true peace of conscience, or with the loss of the gospel, or ruin of men's souls; but you must often part with your right for peace, and put up wrongs in word or deed. Money must not be thought too dear to buy it, when the loss of it will be worse than the loss of money, to yourselves or those that you contend with. If a soul be endangered by it, or societies ruined by it, it will be dear-bought money which is got or saved by such means. He is no true friend of peace, that will not have it except when it is cheap.
_Direct._ X. Avoid censoriousness; which is the judging of men or matters that you have no call to meddle with, and the making of matters worse than sufficient proof will warrant you. Be neither busy-bodies, meddling with other men's matters, nor peevish aggravaters of all men's faults. "Judge not, that ye be not judged; for with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again," Matt. vii. 1, 2. You shall be censured, if you will censure: and if Christ be a true discerner of minds, it is they that have beams in their own eyes, who are the quickest perceivers of the motes in others. Censorious persons are the great dividers of the church, and every where adversaries to peace; while they open their mouths wide against their neighbours, to make the worst of all that they say and do, and thus sow the seeds of discord amongst all.
_Direct._ XI. Neither talk against men behind their backs, nor patiently hearken to them that use it. Though the detecting of a dangerous enemy, or the prevention of another's hurt, may sometimes make it a duty to blame them that are absent; yet this case, which is rare, is no excuse to the backbiter's sin. If you have any thing to say against your neighbour, tell it him in a friendly manner to his face, that he may be the better for it: if you tell it only to another, to make him odious, or hearken to backbiters that defame men secretly, you show that your business is not to do good, but to diminish love and peace.
_Direct._ XII. Speak more of the good than of the evil which is in others. There are none so bad, as to have no good in them: why mention you not that? which is more useful to the hearer, than to hear of men's faults. But of this more afterwards.