_Feb. 5_, Sabbath.--In the afternoon, having heard the late Mr. Martin of St. George's,[1] he writes, on returning home: "O quam humilem, sed quam diligentissimum; quam dejectum, sed quam vigilem, quam die noctuque precantem, decet me esse quum tales viros aspicio. Juva, Pater, Fili, et Spiritus!" ["Oh! how humble, yet how diligent, how lowly, yet how watchful, how prayerful night and day it becomes me to be, when I see such men. Help, Father, Son, and Spirit!"]
[1] He says of him on another occasion, _June 8, 1834_: "A man greatly beloved of whom the world was not worthy." "An apostolic man." His own calm deep holiness, resembled in many respects Mr. Martin's daily walk.
From this date he seems to have sat, along with his friend Mr. Somerville, almost entirely under Mr. Bruce's ministry. He took copious notes of his lectures and sermons, which still remain among his papers.
"_Feb. 28._--Sober conversation. Fain would I turn to the most interesting of all subjects. Cowardly backwardness: 'For whosoever is ashamed of me and my words,'" etc.
At this time, hearing, concerning a friend of the family, that she had said, "_That she was determined to keep by the world,_" he penned the following lines on her melancholy decision:--
She has chosen the world, And its paltry crowd; She has chosen the world, And an endless shroud! She has chosen the world With its misnamed pleasures; She has chosen the world, Before heaven's own treasures.
She hath launched her boat On life's giddy sea, And her all is afloat For eternity. But Bethlehem's star Is not in her view; And her aim is far From the harbor true.
When the storm descends From an angry sky, Ah! where from the winds Shall the vessel fly? [Away, then--oh, fly From the joys of earth! Her smile is a lie-- There's a sting in her mirth.]*
When stars are concealed, And rudder gone, And heaven is sealed To the wandering one
The whirlpool opes For the gallant prize; And, with all her hopes, To the deep she hies! But who may tell Of the place of woe, Where the wicked dwell, Where the worldlings go?
For the human heart Can ne'er conceive What joys are the part Of them who believe; Nor can justly think Of the cup of death, Which all must drink Who despise the faith.
*Come, leave the dreams Of this transient night, And bask in the beams Of an endless light.
*TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: In the original "Memoirs and Remains of the Reverend Robert Murray McCheyne", the passage in brackets was the first half of the last, eight-line stanza, and the following quartet was part of the eight-line stanza beginning "When the storm descends".
"_March 6._--Wild wind and rain all day long. Hebrew class--Psalms. New beauty in the original every time I read. Dr. Welsh--lecture on Pliny's letter about the Christians of Bithynia. Professor Jameson on quartz. Dr. Chalmers grappling with Hume's arguments. Evening--Notes, and little else. Mind and body dull." This is a specimen of his register of daily study.
_March 20._--After a few sentences in Latin, concluding with "In meam animam veni, Domine Deus omnipotens," he writes, "Leaning on a staff of my own devising, it betrayed me, and broke under me. It was not thy staff. Resolving to be a god, Thou showedst me that I was but a man. But my own staff being broken, why may I not lay hold of thine?--Read part of the Life of Jonathan Edwards. How feeble does my spark of Christianity appear beside such a sun! But even his was a borrowed light, and the same source is still open to enlighten me."
"_April 8._--Have found much rest in Him who bore all our burdens for us."
"April 26.--To-night I ventured to break the ice of unchristian silence. Why should not selfishness be buried beneath the Atlantic in matters so sacred?"
_May 6_, Saturday evening.--This was the evening previous to the Communion; and in prospect of again declaring himself the Lord's at his table, he enters into a brief review of his state. He had partaken of the ordinance in May of the year before for the first time; but he was then living at ease, and saw not the solemn nature of the step he took. He now sits down and reviews the past:--