(4.) It is incident to good christians ; they are in danger to be enamoured of their own goodness. Pride once got into heaven itself among the angels, it crept into paradise, and the best heart can hardly keep it out. When men have withstood the ' lusts of the flesh,' and ' the lusts of the eye,' yet they may be overcome with ' pride of life.' Look, as a castle, when it cannot be taken by assault, many times it is blown up ; so when the devil cannot surprise and take us by other stratagem.s, by open assault, he seeks to puff and blow up the heart. Paul was like to ' be puffed up with the abundance of his revelations,' 2 Cor. xii. 7, though he were a sanctified vessel, and though his enjoy- ments were not of an earthly nature. It is a sin very incident to the children of God to be lifted up with a vain conceit of their own worth, others are not liable to it so much as they are. It is no wonder for a beggar to call himself poor, or a drunkard to have such low thoughts of himself, they are not in such danger as you are. And it is a sin got out with a great deal of difficulty ; God is forced to punish it with other sins. For common sins, God useth the discipline of affliction ; but for this he punishetli sin with sin, and gives us up to some scandalous fall, that so we might know what is in our own hearts.
[2.] How it bewrays itself ; I shall mention but two marks.
(1.) By admiring thoughts and reflections upon our own excellency. A man is apt to entertain his spirit with privy whispers of vanity, and to court himself, as it were, with suppositions of applause and honour in the world : Luke i. 51, ' He scattereth the proud in the imagination of their heart.' Proud men are full of imaginations and musings upon their own worth, greatness, and excellency. This is the courtship that self-love n:akes to itself, when men muse upon the excellency of their gifts, and how far they excel others. As the strutting king, Dan. iv.
262 A TREATISE OF SELF-DENIAL. [BoOK I.
30, as he walked on the palace of Babylon, he is musing upon the vastness of his dominion and empire : ' Is not this great Bahel that I have built for the lionour of my majesty and the glory of my magnifi- cence ? ' When men make an idol of self, they are wont to come and solemnly worship it, to dote and gaze upon their own excellences and achievements ; but a sincere christian's heart is taken up with admiration of Christ and the riches of the covenant, as Abraham walked through the land of promise, Gen xiii. and said, ' All this is mine.' So carnal men are wont to take a survey of their gifts and excellences, how far they excel others in parts, prudence, and estate, and so play the parasites with their own hearts.
(2.) It discovers itself by partiality to their own failings. Man is a very favourable judge to himself ; men favour their own sins, but with bitter censure comment upon the actions of others : Prov. xvi. 2, ' All the ways of a man seem right in his own eyes, but God weighs the spirits ; ' mark, it is in his own eyes. Man is apt to be partial in his own cause, blinded with self-love ; when he comes to weigh his own actions, self-love takes hold of the scale, and so there is no right done. There is a great deal of difference between our balance and the balance of the sanctuary. Men are loath to see an evil in themselves ; they can see motes in the eyes of others, severely censure their failings, but can- not see beams in their own, Mat. vii. 3. A sincere heart is most severe against his own shis, and flings the first stone at himself; but self-love is blind and partial. The apostle saith, that ' love covers a multitude of sins.' It should do so in our neighbour, but it doth cover that which is in ourselves. The cases of Judah and David were very famous. Judah, when he was to sit judge upon Tamar, would have burned her because she had committed adultery, Gen. xxxviii. 34 ; but when he saw the bracelets, ring, and staff, when he understood his own guilt, he becomes more favourable and mild. So David, 2 Sam. xii. 5, when the prophet Nathan came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba, and represents the case to him, it is said, ' David's anger was greatly kindled against the man. And he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this shall die, die without mercy.' But when David was found to be the person, and the prophet tells him, ' Thou art the man,' then he was not so severe, his mind was more calm. In a disease we think our pain the sliarpest ; so when truly cured of self-love, we think no sins like our own. The apostle Paul counted himself ' the chiefest of sinners,' and certainly a person so sanctified would not lie.