(2.) Consider the purity of God. Much acquaintance with God in our thoughts would make us loathe ourselves. How did Job cure his self-love ? Job xlii. 6, ' Inline eyes see thee, and therefore I abhor my- self, and repent in dust and ashes.' The only way to loathe and abhor ourselves is to think often of God's holiness. To this God must wc be like in holiness ; and when this holy God cometh with his impartial balance to v^^eigh the spirits of men, and I come to give an account to him, what a loathsome creature shall I appear ! Whenever your thoughts begin to be tickled, and your hearts enchanted with self- admiration ; when you begin to muse how much you excel others in parts and prudence, turn your thoughts upon the excellency of God, and then thou wilt cry out, 0 vile, unclean, and imworthy creature ! As the pi'ophet Isaiah, when he saw God in vision : Isa. vi. 5, ' Then said I, Woe is me ! for I am undone ; because I am a man of unclean lips ; for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.' When you think of the immaculate purity of the holy God, all your proud thoughts will vanish. Daniel saith, Dan. viii. 10, ' 1 saw this great vision, and there remained no strength in me ; for my comeliness was turned in me into corruption, and I retained no strength.' Men are self-con- ceited, because God and their thoughts are mere strangers. The stars shine most, the further off they are from the sun ; the less light there is, the more they will shine, as at night ; one seemeth to exceed an- other— ' One star differeth from another in glory,' 1 Cor. xv. 41. But when the day comes, all the differences of the stars vanish, none shineth; the heaven seems to be as if there were no star at all. So when God ariseth in all his glory, tliose that are apt to think them- selves to be better than others, they see that all is nothing but dark- ness and mere imperfection in comparison of him.
(3.) Consider the greatness of thy obligation. A man hath no cause to love himself the more because he hath more gifts than others, but to love God the more ; great gifts do not argue a good man, but a good God. The apostle saith, 1 Cor. iv. 7, ' Who hath made thee to differ?' If thou cxcellest others, consider, who must have the praise and glory
Book I.] a treatise of self-denial. 265
of this. Must thou dote upon thyself, or love God that made thee to differ ? The more thou hast received from him, the more thou art in debt to him. A man should he humble, not only for his sins, but for his gifts and excellences. The greater our gifts, the greater must our account be. Gifts and excellences lay a greater obligation upon us. It is not the greatness of gifts, but well using of them is the glory of the receiver ; and that is from God too. If thou shouldst be gracious and better than others, yet who made thee better ? It is an evidence thou hast gifts with a curse if they puft' thee up.
(4.) After every duty there is enough to keep thee humble. When thou hast done the duty, either conscience works and smites for some failing, or it dotli not work. If conscience should not work, there is enougli to keep thee humble : 1 Cor. iv. 4, ' I know nothing by myself, yet I am not thereby justified.' If conscience should not smite thee for one straggling thought in prayer, one carnal glance and reflection, yet still you must say, ' I am not hereby justified.' God knows the secret working of my heart, to which I am not privy. I am apt to be partial in my own cause ; this will not quit me before the tribunal ol God. So, Luke xvi. 15, * Ye are they which justify yourselves before men, but God knoweth your hearts ; for tliat which is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.' He doth not only say that which is 'esteemed' among men, but that which is 'highly esteemed ; ' and then he doth not sa.y, God may not have such high thoughts of it, but it is ' abomination in the sight of God. That which men call a rose may be found a nettle when it comes to God's judg- ment ; that yoii call spice may be dung when God comes to make a judgment ; and thy sacrifices may be carrion. But if conscience should work, and smite thee for failings, then there is enough to humble thee, and keep down these high thoughts that self-love is apt to put forth : 1 John iii. 20, 'If our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.' My heart now smites me, that I have had some vain thoughts and carnal reflections while I have been doing something for God ; but will not God much more ? God seeth with a more clear light. What is the light of my conscience to the pure eyes of his glory ? God hath an ocean-hatred against sin, I have but a drop ; I may hate sin because it is against my interest, but God hates it, because it is against his nature ; his holiness sets him against it. God knows the privy turnings of heart. The duty seems to be a strange duty wherein you will not find some matter of humiliation.