Those that think it their happiness to do what they will, that they might be free, cross their own desires, for this is the way to make them most per- fect slaves. When our will is the next immediate cause of sin, and our consciences bear witness to us that it is so, then conscience is ready to take God's part in accusing ourselves ; our consciences tell us to our faces that we might do more than we do to hinder sin, and that when we sin, it is not through weakness, but out of the wickedness of our nature.
Our consciences tell us that we sin not only wiUingly, but often with dehght, so far forth as we are not subdued by gi-ace, or awed by something above us, and that we esteem any restraint to be our misery. And where by grace the will is strengthened, so that it yields not a full consent, yet a gracious soul is humbled even for the sudden risings of corruption that prevent dehberation. As here David, though he withstood the risings of his heart, yet he was troubled, that he had so vile a heart that would rise up against God, and therefore takes it down. Who is there that hath not cause to be humbled, not only for his corruption, but that he doth not resist with that strength, nor labour to prevent it with that diligence which his heart teUs him he might ?
We cannot have too deep apprehensions of this breeding sin, the mother and nurse of aU abominations ; for the more we consider the height, the depth, the breadth, and length of it, the more shall we be humbled in our- selves, and magnify the height, the depth, the breadth, and the length of God's mercy in Christ, Eph. iii. 18. The favourers of nature are always the enemies of grace. This, which some think and speak so weakly and faintly of, is a worse enemy to us than the devil himself ; a more near, a more restless, a more traitorous enemy, for by intelligence with it the devil doth us all the hurt he doth, and by it maintains forts in us against good- ness. This is that which, either by discouragement or contrariety, hinders us from good ; or else, by deadness, tediousness, distractions, or corrupt aims, hinders us in doing good. This putteth us on to evil, and abuseth what is good in us, or from us, to cover or colour sin, and fui'nishes us with reasons either to maintain what is evil, or shifts to translate it upon false causes, or fences to arm us against whatsoever shall oppose us in our wicked ways ; though it neither can nor will be good, yet it would be thought to be so by others, and enforces a conceit upon itself that it is good. It imprisons and keeps down all hght that may discover it, both within itself and without itself, if it he in its power ; it flatters itself, and would have all the world flatter it too, which, if it doth not, it frets, espe- cially if it be once discovered and crossed. Hence comes aU the plotting against goodness, that sin may reign without control. Is it not a lament- able case that man, who, out of the very principles of nature, cannot but desire happiness and abhor misery, yet should be in love with eternal misery in the causes of it, and abhor happiness in the ways that lead unto it ? This sheweth us what a wonderful deordination and disorder is brought
176 THE soul's conflict.
upon man's nature ; for every other creature is naturally carried to that which is helpful unto it, and shunneth that which is any way hurtful and offensive. Only man is in love with his own bane, and fights for those lusts that fight against his soul.
§ rV. Our duty is, 1. To labour to see this sinful disposition of ours, not only as it is discovered in the Scriptures, but as it discovers itself in our own hearts. This must be done by the light and teaching of God's Spirit, who knows us and all the turnings and windings and byways of our souls, better than we know ourselves. We must see it as the most odious and loathsome thing in the world, making our natm-es contrary to God's pure nature, and of all other duties making us most indisposed to spiritual duties, wherein we should have nearest communion with God, because it seizeth on the very spirits of our minds.
2. We should look upon it as worse than any of those filthy streams that come from it ; nay, than all the impure issues of our lives together. There is more fire in the furnace than in the sparkles ; there is more poison in the root than in all the branches. For if the stream were stopped, and the branches cut ofi", and the sparkles quenched, yet there would be a perpetual supply. As in good things, the cause is better than the eflect, so in iU things the cause is worse. Every fruit should make this poisonful root more hateful to us, and the root should make us hate the fruit more, as coming from so bad a root, as being worse in the cause than in itself; the affection is worse than the action, which may be forced or counterfeited. We cry out upon particular sins, but are not humbled as we should be for our impm'e dispositions, without the sight of which there can be (1.) no sound repentance arising from the deep and thorough consideration of sin ; (2.) no desire to be new moulded, without which we can never enter into so holy a place as heaven ; (3.) no self-denial, till we see the best things in us are enmity against God ; (4.) no high prizing of Christ, without whom our natures, om- persons, and om: actions are abominable in God's sight ; (5.) nor any soUd peace settled in the soul, which peace ariseth not from the ignorance of our corruption, or compounding with it, but from sight and hatred of it, and strength against it.