I now asked her, as this matter concerning the retaining of the five pounds was satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart, what she wished me to do with the money, in case I saw it right to keep it. Her reply was that she would leave that with me, that God would direct me concerning it; but that, if she said anything at all about it, she should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labor in the word without any salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of Christ. She wished _me_ to have a part of the money; but this I flatly refused, lest I should be evil spoken of in this matter. I then offered to pay her travelling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. In conclusion, I told her that I would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider what to do concerning it. I then prayed with this dear, godly woman, commended her to God, separated from her, and have not seen her since.
I waited from Aug. 9, 1853, to March 7, 1854, when I wrote to her, offering her back again the whole eighty-five pounds, or a part of it. On March 9, 1854, just seven months after I had received the money, and just nine months after she had actually given it, and ten years and nine months after she had made the resolution to give her house and garden to God, I heard from her, stating that she was of the same mind as she had been for years. I therefore disposed of the money, to aid such foreign missionary brethren as, according to the best of my knowledge, resembled most the class of men whom she wished to assist.
The reasons why I have so minutely dwelt upon this circumstance are: 1. If, as a steward of the bounties of the children of God, I should be blamed for receiving from a poor widow almost literally her all, it may be seen in what manner I did so. To have refused on March 9, 1854, also, would be going beyond what I should be warranted to do. 2. I desired, also, to give a practical illustration that I only desire donations in God's way. It is not the money only I desire; but the money received in answer to prayer, in God's order. 3. This circumstance illustrates how God helps me often in the most unexpected manner. 4. I have also related this instance that there may be a fresh proof that even in these last days the love of Christ is of constraining power, and may work mightily, as in the days of the apostles. I have witnessed _many_ such instances as this, in the twenty years during which I have been occupied in this my service. Let us give thanks to God for such cases, and let us seek for grace rather to imitate such godly men and women, than think that they are going too far. I cannot, however, dismiss this subject, without commending this poor widow to the prayers of all who love our Lord Jesus, that she may be kept humble, lest, thinking highly of herself, on account of what she has been enabled to do, by the grace of God, she should not only lose blessing in her own soul, but this circumstance should become a snare to her. Pray also, believing reader, that she may never be allowed to regret what she has done for the Lord.
After giving in detail the sources and manner of supply for the maintenance of the orphans during twenty-four days, Mr. M. adds:--
The particular end why I have been so minute, is, _to show that the work is now, as much as ever, a work carried on entirely in dependence upon the living God, who alone is our hope, and to whom alone we look for help, and who never has forsaken us in the hour of need_. There is, however, one thing different with reference to this year, when compared with former years, and that is, that, while our trials of faith during this year were just as great as in previous years, the amount needed in former times was never so great as during this year, especially as the bread during the greater part of this year was about twice as dear as for several years before.
But then, it may be said, If you have had this trial of faith, with these three hundred orphans, why do you seek to build another Orphan House for seven hundred more, and thus have a thousand to care for? Will you not have still greater trials of faith?