4. A second duty which children owe to their parents is love. We are to bear them a deep, real kindness, an earnest, tender good-will, heartily desiring all manner of good to them, and abhorring to speak or do any thing, which might give them uneasiness. This will appear no more than common gratitude, if we remember, what our parents have done for us. That they were the instruments not only of bringing us into the world, but also of sustaining us after: and certainly they that weigh the cares and fears which attend the bringing up of a child, will judge the love of the child to be but a moderate return for them. This love is to be exprest several ways. First, in all kindness of behaviour, carrying ourselves, not barely with awe and respect, but with tenderness and affection. It is to be exprest, secondly, in praying for them. The debt which a child owes to a parent, is so inconceivably great, that he can never hope, fully to discharge it himself. He is therefore to seek the assistance of God, and continually to beg him that has all power in heaven and earth, to return whatever good his parents have done him, seven-fold into their own bosom.
5. A third duty which children owe to their parents is obedience. As this is plainly implied in the fifth commandment, so it is expresly enjoined by the apostle: _Children, obey your parents in the_ Lord. (Eph. vi. 1.) And again, _Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well-pleasing to the_ Lord. (Col. iii. 20.) We owe them obedience _in all things_, unless where their commands are contrary to the commands of God. In every thing of an indifferent nature, whatever they enjoin, we are to do. The case is the same with regard to the authority of parents over their children, as with regard to that of husbands over their wives. The will of your parent is a law to you, as soon as it is signified to you. You are to comply with it immediately, not for wrath, not only to avoid this, but also for conscience sake. Such is the will of God concerning you: so high is the authority which he hath entrusted them with.
6. And yet we are to obey them only _in the_ Lord: only so far as consists with his authority over us. Therefore, if any of their commands are contrary to the commands of God, in that case our duty to God must be preferred. If therefore any parent should be so wicked as to require his child to steal, to lie, or to do any thing unlawful, the child offends not against his duty, tho’ he disobey that command. Nay, he must disobey; otherwise he offends against an higher duty, even that which every child of man owes to his Father which is in heaven. Yet when it is necessary to refuse obedience, it should be done in so modest and respectful a manner, that it may plainly appear, not stubbornness but conscience is the ground of that refusal. Let this appear likewise by your ready and chearful compliance with all their lawful commands: as well knowing, that wherever the command of a parent is not contrary to any command of God, there the child is in conscience bound to obey, whether in a weightier or lighter matter.
7. *Nothing therefore but the unlawfulness of their command, can excuse the disobeying our parents. If any instance of disobedience is more inexcusable than others, it is the marrying against, or even without their consent. Indeed, parents have so peculiar a right to their children, that to give themselves away without their allowance, is not only an high act of disobedience, but of flagrant injustice. And hence we see, that among God’s antient people, if a young woman had even _made a vow_, she was not suffered to perform it, without the consent of the parent, (_Numb._ xxx. 5.) Indeed children ought to have a negative voice, and not be compelled to marry without their own consent. But if they marry without the consent of their parents, let them expect no blessing from God.