4. Before I conclude, it may not be improper to sum up the duty of married persons, as parents, and as masters. Their duty as parents respects either the temporal or the spiritual good of their children. With regard to the former, you owe them protection and provision of necessaries, according to that rank and degree, wherein the wisdom of God has placed you. You are carefully to protect your children, from all the evils and dangers, to which infancy, childhood and youth are exposed. You are also to nourish and sustain them; not only to provide for them for the present, but to take care for their future subsistence. If you have not a patrimony to leave them, it behoves you to leave them an art or calling, whereby thro’ diligence, with the blessing of God, they may procure food convenient for them. *In the choice of this calling, you should chiefly have an eye to their general Christian calling, and consider not so much what will conduce most to their temporal profit or honour, as what will most effectually advance their spiritual and eternal interest. This is a weighty point: it were well if all parents would deeply lay it to heart. It should next be considered, whether the calling proposed be suitable to their genius and inclination: which are to be consulted on this head, only not as much as their eternal welfare.
5. With regard to their spiritual good, your first labour of love is, to present them to God in baptism. You are then to inure them to good, to instruct and admonish them, to educate them in the knowledge and fear of God, to season their minds as early as possible with the fundamental truths of religion, and in such a manner as is best suited to their capacity, to train them up in all holiness. Every instruction should be seconded by example. Let them continually see, as well as hear, how they ought to walk acceptably, and to please God. Be peculiarly careful to set before your children the copies and patterns of the virtues which you teach. And let them neither see nor hear any thing from you, which you would not desire to have copied by them. Even an Heathen, and none of the most virtuous, could say,
_Maxima debetur pueris reverentia._
We ought to reverence and stand in awe of children that nothing may be spoken or done in their sight, which may taint their tender minds. They are prone to imitate any; but more especially those who are so nearly related to them. Which undoubtedly they will be most ready to do, when example strikes in with their natural propensity to evil.
6. If neither good examples nor instructions will prevail, then correction becomes a duty. And this should first be given in words, before you proceed to severer methods: yet not in railing, or foul or bitter language, but in calm and sober reproof. If that fail too, then use the rod. But whenever this correction is given, let it be with all the expressions of love and concern, which the nature of the thing will admit. Let it be timely, before ill habits are contracted, at least, before they have time to take root. And let it be moderate, not exceeding the quality of the fault, or the tenderness of the child. Immoderate, or ill-natured and passionate correction, is so far from profiting children, that it very frequently frets and sharpens their spirits, and makes them more stubborn and untractable. If they are of a softer temper, it frights and dispirits them. This is also the natural effect, of a sour, harsh, unkind behaviour. Hence those solemn cautions of the apostle, _Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath_, (Eph. vi. 4.) Avoid whatever tends thereto. Use no demeanor, no actions or words, or way of speaking, which has such a tendency. And again, _Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged_, Col. iii. 21. It is a different word from that used in the former text, Μὴ ἐρεθιζετε Do not purposely fret or teize them: lest you should dishearten them too much, lest you should destroy their courage and vigour of mind, and make them of a faint, fearful, dastardly spirit. The direction doubtless belongs to both the parents, but is more immediately addrest to _fathers_, as they are generally of rougher and harsher spirits than the mothers, and not so much restrained by natural fondness. Lastly, correction must not be given in anger: if it be, it will lose its effect on the child, who will think he is corrected, not because he has done a fault, but because the parent is angry.