4. And this inward will produce outward reverence, both in her words and actions. Her words are either to himself, of him behind his back, or to others before him. And, 1. Her words to himself should neither be sharp, sullen, passionate, not rude, careless or contemptuous: such as shew neither anger, nor neglect, but all lowliness and quietness of affection. What kind of words would you dislike from a servant or child? Those must you not give your husband. For the same duty of fear is in the same words, and with the same plainness enjoined to thee that is to them. Indeed a wife, as I observed before, may be more familiar: yet there is an excess of familiarity which is blame-worthy. Why should a woman be so over-bold as to call her husband, _Tom, Dick, Ned_? Could she speak otherwise to her child or servant? Certainly those speeches of hers which are most familiar should still have a print of reverence upon them.
5. Her words also to others in his presence should be such as witness a due reverence to him: In his company she should be more cautious of her behaviour to any, than otherwise she need to be. Her words to children and servants in his sight, ought not to be loud or snappish. If she perceive a fault in them, she should remember her better stands by, and therefore not speak, but upon necessity, and then utter the reproof in a more still and mild manner, than she might have done in his absence. You allow not your children or servants to be loud before you. And will you be so before your husband!
6. A wife’s words likewise concerning her husband behind his back, should be dutiful and respectful. She must not talk of him with a kind of carelessness, much less with reproachful terms. Hence the apostle recommends the example of _Sarah_: who when she but thought of her husband, in the absence of all company, (_Gen._ xviii. 12.) reverently intitled him, _My Lord_. Who would bear a child speaking against his father behind his back? And shall it be thought sufferable in a wife? He that allows not an evil thought of the prince, will not allow evil speeches of the husband.
7. Yea, the very gestures and countenance of a wife, as well as her words, should be mixt with reverence. Both good and bad tempers have more ways of uttering themselves than by the tongue. _Solomon_ speaks of an _eye that despiseth his mother_: so the eye of a wife may be a despising eye and her gestures may proclaim contempt, tho’ her tongue be altogether silent. But rude and contemptuous behaviour are no less uncomely than disrespectful words. Wherefore, if you condemn these in your children toward yourself, allow them not in yourself toward your husband.
8. The second duty, subjection, implies obedience to his commands, and submission to his reproofs. The former is expresly enjoined in those words, _Let the wife be subject to her husband in all things_. And indeed, if she refuse it to him, how can she require it of the children and servants? For it is due to her only as his deputy, and a substitute under him. “But how far must she be subject to him?” The apostle tells us, _In all things, in the_ Lord. Obedience, you see, must be universal: only so that it may be _in the_ Lord. In every thing wherein obedience to him would not prove rebellion against her Maker, she is bound to obey, without any farther question. An _English_ subject is not bound to obey the King in any thing but what some law enjoins. His will is no law, neither does it bind the conscience of his subject. But the husband’s will is a law to his wife, and binds her conscience in all things indifferent. Nor does even this suffice, unless she obey readily, quietly, chearfully, without brawling, contending, sourness.
9. The latter, submission to his reproofs, is also plainly required in these words, _As the church is subject to_ Christ, _so must the wives to their own husbands in every thing_. Now, bearing his reproofs is doubtless a necessary part of the church’s subjection to Christ. Of consequence it is a necessary part of the wife’s subjection to her husband.