16. About nine his mother and I came to him, and he said, “mother, you are troubled about many things. I know you have a great cross now sickness is in the house, over and above the care of this large family. Father, you must bear your part. There is a want in you both. You are religious singly: But you are not free in confessing your faults and temptations one to another. It would be a great help, if you would set apart a time for this, for the family in general, once a week. God has made you an instrument of keeping his little flock together in this place. I believe you do it with all your heart. Let us do it chearfully, and he will greatly bless us all.”
17. He passed the night without sleep; but continually praising God, and exhorting all that came in his sight. To one who stood by him he said, “I opened my bible to-day on the cxii. _Psalm_. Take the prayer-book and find it.” She did so, and he took especial notice of the 6th, 7th, and 8th verses. “’Tis sweet (said he) to speak those words experimentally: _He shall never be moved. He will not be afraid of any evil tidings; for his heart standeth fast, believing in the Lord. His heart is established, and will not shrink, until he shall see his desire upon his enemies._”
18. In the morning, _Friday, 15_. He was full of the spirit of grace, and of supplication: always expressing an unshaken confidence in God, and making strong intercession for the church. “O said he, could I but see the church of Christ, in peace and unity! Of one heart, and of one mind! then I should die rejoicing indeed!”
19. Three of the leaders of classes coming in, he said, “We have been neglectful in one thing, in not going more diligently after backsliders, and bringing back the sheep that were lost. O it is a great thing, to bring one soul unto the Lord! Let me desire you to remember it for the time to come.” One of them asked, “Shall I pray for you?” He said, “Yes: but do not pray for my recovery.” After praying, he asked, “How do you find yourself now?” He said, “Clear of doubt: full of God.”
20. The man coming to him who used to work with him in the shop, he said, “_John_, how is the case between God and your soul? Of late you have not been so earnest as you was. Why do you not join in the society? I believe you are kept from outward sin. But that will not do.” A few days after the man came to me, desiring to be admitted into the society, and saying, “He hoped the words would never go out of his mind, and that he should never rest till he knew the Lord.”
21. Speaking of some who were intangled with inordinate affection, and talked of their “wanting to know the will of God,” he said, “When we can give up our own wills, then we shall know the will of God. And when that is known and carefully followed, all temptations of this kind are at an end.”
22. He asked one¹ who was much with him, “Are you willing to die?” And on her saying, “If I knew it was the will of God, I could lie down and not leave a wish behind:” He answered, “I think I am drawn two ways. I have a strong desire to _depart and to be with Christ_; but sometimes I am drawn a little backward, not knowing whether my _abiding_ awhile _in the flesh_, may not be for the glory of God. These are two opposite points. When they are brought to meet, my way will lie strait before me.”
¹ The same person who wrote part of this relation.
23. He often made her repeat those lines of Dr. _Watts_’s:
“Say, live for ever, glorious King, Born to redeem and strong to save!”
And catch’d the two next from her, repeating with triumph,
“Then ask the monster, Where’s his sting? And where’s thy victory, boasting grave?”
24. Those three verses in one of the funeral hymns he was almost continually repeating,
“Thou know’st, in the spirit of prayer, We groan thy appearing to see, Resign’d to the burden we bear, But longing to triumph with thee. ’Tis good at thy word to be here, ’Tis better in thee to be gone, And see thee in glory appear, And rise to a share of thy throne.
“To mourn for thy coming is sweet, To weep at thy longer delay: But thou whom we hasten to meet Shall chase all our sorrows away. The tears shall be wip’d from our eyes, When thee we behold in the cloud, And echo the joys of the skies, And shout to the trumpet of God.
“Come then to thy languishing bride, Who went’st to prepare us a place, Receive us with thee to abide, And rest in thy mercy’s embrace. Our heaven of heavens be this, Thy fulness of mercy to prove, Implung’d in the glorious abyss, And lost in the ocean of love.”