11. In all affairs that concerned the service of God, he had an immoveable constancy. And besides the force of his words, there appeared in his face an extraordinary assurance, (though his ordinary deportment was always sweet and quiet) which particularly appeared in all meetings, whereby he manifested such a spirit that those who beheld him, felt themselves struck with awful regard. His proposals generally carried so much light and force in them, that all were constrained to acquiesce in his determination. But if any disputed his reasons he knew how to enforce them; and if they chanced to make another reply, (which was a thing that exceeding rarely happened) he said not one word more, but his very silence, and the steadiness of his countenance, restrained any further dispute. The meeting ended, he would go to that person and ask his pardon; informing him, “That what he aimed at, was, not to make good his opinion but to advance the cause of God; in all other things he was ready to yield to every one.”
*12. But of all things he took care, not to overcharge himself with business, to the prejudice of his piety. He knew that outward employments, even the most holy, may be hindrances to inward holiness. Wherefore he was careful not to overburden himself with them, and very vigilant, that they should not distract and dissipate him, nor secularize his soul, but serve only as means to elevate and unite him more to God.
*13. And God so blessed him therein, that in the multitude of business, he was still in a continual recollection. A familiar friend asking him, Whether in that throng of employments, he observed his usual two hours of prayer; he answered, “When I can, I keep three hours, sometimes four or five; but when occasion offers to serve my neighbour, I easily quit them, for God of his mercy hath given me the grace, to be inseparably with him, even in the crowd of business.” To the same purpose he writ to his director; “I continue my devotion out of the time and place of prayer, even in the midst of converse and business: and I tell you sincerely, tho’ I perform every thing so ill, yet I find little difference of times for prayer, being recollected continually.” And the same might be gathered (as was observed before) from his modesty and composed countenance, clearly evidencing, that his soul was wholly and constantly in application to God, from whom he drew light and strength, for the conduct of all his business. Of which he thus wrote to his director; “My recollection hinders no business at all, but furthers it. Without it I should have a sollicitous desire of doing all myself: whereas I now act in a most calm way, in which I have no share; for it is our Lord that doth all.” In another letter thus; “Finding myself one day much burthened with variety of businesses, I had a desire to draw off my mind wholly; and at the same instant it was done. Since that time they create me no trouble, and I dispatch them more readily without thinking of them. This grace hath been often renewed in me, (although in several manners) which I acknowledge to be very great, because it preserves me disengaged, even in the multiplicity of business.”
*14. If after he had done his part, any design miscarried, he rested well satisfied. On such an occasion he thus writ to a friend; “We may take up good designs, and God often inspires them; yet when he is pleased to permit a contrary event, we must adore his secret will, which brings more of mercy in the crossing of them, than if they had succeeded. We should always be jealous over our spirit, that it fix not upon any thing.” And again, “Our Lord has his designs, which he effects by such means as we would not at all make choice of: The reason is, because he would break our wills, and abate our dependencies upon earth. Therefore he often crosses our best undertakings, being more jealous of the sacrifice of our hearts, than any thing else, how specious so ever.”
15. I cannot better conclude this chapter, than with a letter writ to his director on this subject:
“For these three or four months I have been, as it were, continually employed in outward works; as removing from place to place, new building a church, taking care of the sick, reconciling differences, conferring with all sorts of people. Yesterday hearing those words of the gospel read, ‘Thou art troubled about many things,’ it was said to my heart, ‘Thou art not troubled about many things,’ giving me to understand, that the things we are employed upon, according to the will of God, do not create us that trouble; and that _Martha_ was not reproved for doing the work, but for doing it too sollicitously. Our Saviour intimating to her, that no business should be done with inordinate agitation of spirit. Since our great business is, to hear the eternal word, and act nothing with disturbance, but all in peace by his Spirit.”