12. The pastor of his parish having administered to him the Holy Communion, and observing his deep silence, not speaking one word; but only with profound humility, “My God, my God, pardon me; I am a great sinner!” He asked him the reason, why he spake so little, and did not apply himself to those who were well-pleased to hear him? “It is not fitting, said he, to speak in the presence of him whom I have received, nor take up any room in those hearts, which ought to be filled only with God.” He added, *“My spirit is now applied to that joy, which a creature ought to have, to see himself upon the point of being re-united to his first principle, and his last end.”
13. The same day after dinner, one told him, “It was fit to use some diversion from his serious thoughts; the physicians judging his disease to have much of melancholy in it.” To whom he replied, “I never had any joy comparable to that I have felt this day.” He asked him, for what cause? “To think, said he, that I am going to be united with my God.” He added earnestly, “I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. The Spirit and the bride say, Come; and let him that heareth say, Come. And he that thirsteth, Let him come. Behold I come quickly. Amen; Come Lord Jesus!”
*14. About noon, he desired his window might be set open, that he might behold the brightness of the day: which being done, he cried out, “O bright day of eternity! How this sun-shine chears me! Helping me to meditate on that day, which shall never have night!”
*15. The more his sickness increased, the more he strove to unite himself to God by prayer, imitating his master, who in the strength of his agony, prayed the more earnestly. And when the violence of his disease so opprest him, that he had need of greater straining, to keep his mind fixed upon God, he cried out,
“Courage, courage! Eternity is at hand!”
16. Many such speeches he uttered with incredible fervor, tho’ he could not pronounce them distinctly, by reason of the extreme dryness of his throat, occasioned by the fever. At last, stopping his speech, he fixed his eyes stedfastly on heaven, for a quarter of an hour together, with a smiling look, and full of reverence, as if he saw some extraordinary sight. After which gathering all his strength, he sat up in his bed, took off his cap, and holding it in his hand, said, (with words half stifled in his throat, as well by the ardor of his spirit, as the weakness of his body)
“I adore you, I adore you.”
17. The curate having used the service of the church, to which he attended with great devotion, answering to every prayer, asked him, if he would not give a blessing to his children? He answered, “How so, good Sir, shall I presume to give a blessing in your presence? I should be happy to receive one from you.” But being urged thereto, and told the church allowed it, he lifted up his hands and eyes to heaven, saying,
“May it please God to bless you and to preserve you by his grace from the malignity of the world, that you may have no part therein! And above all, my children, may you live in the fear and love of God, and yield due obedience to your mother!”
18. On _Saturday_, about half an hour past ten in the forenoon, ♦being just recovered out of a violent convulsion, looking attentively on those that were present, he made signs with his hands, head, and eyes, with a pleasant countenance, for an intimate friend to come near him. Which being done, he said,
♦ “been” replaced with “being”
“Sir, I have one word to say to you before I die:” (then pausing a little to recover his strength, he testified his affection to him, but in words that could not distinctly be understood. At length raising his voice, and speaking more articulately, he went on) “The perfection of a Christian life, is to be united to God by faith. Let us not entangle ourselves in novelties. Let us adore his conduct over us, and continue faithful to him unto the end. Let us adhere to that one God, crucified for our salvation. Let us unite all our actions, and all that is in us to his merits; hoping that if we continue faithful to him by his grace, we shall be partakers of the glory of his Father. I hope we shall there see one another one day, which shall never have an end.”
19. Some time after, fixing his eyes upon heaven, he said, “The holy Jesus, where is he?” They brought him his picture, which he affectionately kissed. Then turning himself he presently entered his last agony; which held about a quarter of an hour, the greatest part of which he spent in pronouncing the name of Jesus; making as well as he could, acts of resignation, and commending his spirit to God: After which he expired sweetly, and his holy soul departed to its place of rest.