Near night I proposed to have proceeded in my usual method of catechising. But while we were engaged in the first prayer, the power of God came upon the assembly in so remarkable a manner, that I thought it more expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made for the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them to a _speedy_ acceptance of the _great salvation_, than to ask them questions about _doctrinal_ points.
I baptized two persons this day; one adult and one child.
The woman has discovered an heavenly frame of mind, from her first reception of comfort. One morning in particular she came to see me, discovering an unusual joy in her countenance; and when I inquired the reason of it, she replied, “That God had made her feel that it was _right_ for him to do as he pleased with all things? She moreover inquired, whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians by some good people a great way off.” I replied, Yes, by the good people in Scotland. She answered, “that her heart loved those good people so, the evening before, that she could scarce help praying for them all night, her heart would go to God for them.”
*Wednesday, January 8. My heart was drawn out after God: my soul was refreshed and quickened; I had great hopes of the ingathering of precious souls to Christ; not only among my own people, but others also. I was sweetly resigned under my bodily weakness; willing to live or die, and desirous to labour for God to the utmost of my strength.
Friday, January 10. My soul was in a calm, composed frame, and my heart filled with love to all the world; and Christian simplicity and tenderness seemed to prevail and reign with me. Near night, I visited a serious baptist minister, and had some agreeable conversation with him.
January 13. I was visited by divers persons under deep concern; one of whom was newly awakened.――It is a most agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring, “what they shall do to be saved?” And as we are never to “be weary in well-doing,” so the obligation is peculiarly strong when the work is so lively. And yet my health is so much impaired, and my spirit so wasted with my labours, and solitary manner of living, (there being no human creature in the house with me.) that their repeated and almost incessant application to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceeding burdensome. And what contributes much towards this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend _much_ time communicating a _little_ matter to them; there being often many things necessary to be premised, before I can speak directly to what I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted, where there was a competency of knowledge.
Lord’s-day, January 19. I catechised in my ordinary method. Numbers were much affected.――Convictions powerfully revived.――Divers of the Christians refreshed and strengthened.――And one weary _heavy laden_ soul, I have reason to hope, was brought to solid comfort in Christ.
*He told me, he had often heard me say, that persons must _see_ and _feel_ themselves helpless and _undone_; that they must give up all hope of saving themselves by their _own doings_, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. And he had long been striving after this; supposing this would be an excellent frame of mind: that God would have respect to _this_ frame, and bestow eternal life upon him.――――But when he came to feel himself in this helpless _undone_ condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts: so that it was not the _same_, nor indeed any thing _like_ the frame he had been seeking after. Instead of its being a _good_ frame of mind, he now found nothing but _badness_ in himself, and saw it for ever impossible for him to make himself any better. He was amazed he had never _before_ seen that it was utterly impossible for him, by all his contrivances and endeavours, to do any thing _that way_.――――Instead of imagining that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind, he saw clearly it would be just with God to send him to eternal misery; and that there was _no goodness_ in what he then felt; for he could not help seeing, that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God’s love or pity.
In _this_ frame of mind he came to public worship this evening, and while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without _any_ goodness of _their own_ to recommend them to his acceptance; he thought, that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Christ, and he used to hope, that some time or other he should be _able_ to do so. But now he was convinced _he could not_, and it seemed utterly vain for him ever to try _any more_: nor did he now hope for a better opportunity hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw, and was fully ♦convinced, his own strength would for ever fail.
♦ “conviced” replaced with “convinced”