*I find _discouragement_ to be an exceeding _hindrance_ to my spiritual fervency and affection: but when God enables me to find that I have done something for him, this animates me, so that I could break through all hardships, undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either to do or suffer. But Oh, what a death it is, to strive, and strive; to be always in a _hurry_, and yet do _nothing_. Alas, alas, that time flies away, and I do so little for God!
Lord’s-day, May 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency for my work: God made me to see, that I was a child; yea, that I was a fool. I discoursed both parts of the day, from Revelation iii. 20. “Behold I stand at the door, and knock.” God gave me freedom and power in the latter part of my (forenoon’s) discourse, although in the former part of it, I felt peevish and provoked with the unmannerly behaviour of the _white_ people, who crouded in between my people and me. But blessed be God I got those shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and was favoured with a sweet frame of spirit in the latter part of the exercise: was full of love, warmth, and tenderness, in addressing my dear people.――In the intermission-season I could not but discourse to my people on the kindness and patience of Christ in _standing_ and _knocking at the door_.――In the evening, I was grieved that I had done so little for God. Oh that I could be _a flame of fire_ in the service of my God!