I enquired, how the work of God began in her soul? She said, “_May_ was six years I came to live with Mrs. _Riggs_, where _Mary Feris_ lived; at which time I had no notion of real, heart religion. But her behaviour struck me, and not long after, I went with her on Sunday morning to the _New-Room_. From that time I saw myself a vile, helpless sinner, of which I was convinced more and more; yet with strong hope, expecting deliverance under every sermon I heard, and in every meeting for prayer. But in about two months my hope grew weak, and I concluded God did not hear my prayers. Then deep sorrow seized my heart, till one night going to bed, I cried earnestly for mercy, and begged that if there were any for me, I might wake time enough to attend the morning preaching. I awoke at the time. In that moment I was enabled to believe, that God loved me. I rejoiced unspeakably; I was happy in his love, and have never since doubted of his favour.
“This joy continued for some months, but with an earnest hope of seeing greater things than these: those words being frequently in my mouth, and almost continually in my mind,
Wrestling I will not let thee go, Till I thy name, thy nature know!
And one day as I was sitting in my room, the power of God came mightily upon me, and those words were applied to my heart, in a manner I cannot express, _Thou art all fair, my love: there is no spot in thee_. It is impossible to tell how my soul was filled with love: surely it was angel’s food! I was called down to dinner, but could eat nothing: On this one said, ‘_Nancy_, have you got _the second blessing_?’ I did not know how to answer to this, or what name to call it by. But I said, I never was so happy in all my life: I am quite filled with love. And from that time I have continued, except some weeks in the beginning of last year, (when I was hurt by disputing about a third person) _rejoicing evermore, praying without ceasing_, and _in every thing giving thanks_. My particular prayer was, that God would give me all the grace which he had promised in his word.”
From the time that this disorder began, it was her constant prayer, “Lord, if I recover, let it be to thy glory; if not, thy will be done! Only do not take me hence, till thou hast finished thy work in my soul.” This, she added, “is my whole desire. And I must bear this testimony, the Lord Jesus hath always, on his part, been faithful and gracious to me. And though, on my part, I have been much wanting, yet he hath borne with me and mightily blessed my soul.”
Her mother told me, “Yesterday I thought she was expiring; she did not appear like herself; till she broke out, ‘The goodness of God has been so manifested to my soul, that I could not speak. Those words were spoke to my heart, _I have loved thee with an everlasting love_. And, _Thou shalt be mine, in that day, when I make up my jewels_. O! I have sweet foretastes of heaven! I would gladly go to him my soul loves.’”
Sunday 9. I saw her again. She was then so weak, she could hardly speak to be heard. But after I had spoke a few words of the love of Jesus, she found strength and said, “The first Sunday in February last, at the sacrament, I did indeed eat his flesh and drink his blood. The glory of the Lord shone into my soul, and I felt so much of his love, it was almost more than my feeble body could bear: it was a real foretaste of heaven.” She said, “Three nights ago I was in exquisite pain, such as I never felt before: but every pain was a spring to my soul, to lift me up to heaven. I could thank him for all, and methought I would not recover for the whole world. Indeed the love of Jesus so ravishes my soul that I would not have ♦one pain less than he pleases.” Then correcting herself she said, “Pain! It cannot be called pain: his presence makes it heaven to me!” One said, “He has brought you through the wilderness, within sight of the good land.” She said, “O yes! O yes! He has; and he will be with me through the valley; this I cannot doubt.” I then took my leave and saw her no more. What follows, I had from those that attended her.
♦ “on” replaced with “one” per Errata
She exhorted all that came, particularly those that sat up with her, to redeem the time. To one she said, “O _Sally_, turn to God with your whole heart: you have but little time:” and to them all, “Make haste! Get ready! You have no time to spare.”
Afterward Satan was permitted to thrust sore at her. Waking out of sleep, she began to reproach herself, for sleeping, saying, “If I had not slept, it would not have been thus with me. I cannot doubt of the favour of my Lord: neither can I fear his casting me into hell. But I am tempted to think, I shall have sore distress at the hour of death.” This lasted some hours; but in the evening she said, “Christ is come, and Satan is gone.” Nor was he suffered to trouble her any more. All that followed was peace and love.