IF it should please God to make any thing I write of benefit to your soul, I should greatly rejoice, but without that my words will avail nothing. And really the account you give of yourself at present is so strange, that I know not how to speak to you, or whether harshness or love is most necessary. This I know, that my own soul is greatly pained for you, but I dare not flatter you, “If any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his;” and doubtless to take a pleasure in exposing the faults of others is a temper as distant from the Spirit of Christ, as hell is from heaven. *Believe me, my dear life, if the love of God reigned in your heart, you would rather cover than expose the faults even of the vilest of men. And when obliged for their own good, or the warning of others, to speak to the disadvantage of any one, you would do it with _fear_ and _caution_, at the same time looking up to God, lest any bitterness should mix, either with your thoughts or words. _God is love_, and infinite streams of love are perpetually flowing from him through all created nature. His acts of judgment as well as mercy are only acts of love, and designed either to remove or to lessen the evils occasioned by the fall of angels and of man; and the soul which is born of God will as necessarily partake of this divine principle of universal love, as the child you now carry within you partakes of your corrupt nature. You have great reason then to tremble, while this temper has any footing in your soul. Don’t sit down contented, because you have intervals of recollection, but wrestle mightily with God in fervent prayer, until he speak peace to your soul, and his love be shed abroad in your heart, before which this evil disposition will fly as a mist before the morning sun. You greatly affect me by what you say in regard to the expected hour of danger; but fear not. No creature on earth can be more unworthy than I am; and the God of mercy protected me, and gave me strength, and courage, and calmness; and I doubt not but he will shew the same mercy to you: nay I have a strong confidence he will in your hour of extremity give you a clearer sense of his pardoning love, than you have yet experienced. Fear not, only believe, “All things are possible to him that believeth.”
It has pleased God within these few days to give me a severe trial, and eternal glory be to his name, I have stood it, crying only, _Lord, thy will be done_. My little boy was taken on Saturday evening with strong convulsions, and between that time and Sunday evening, had I believe, full forty fits. He is now much better. God is ever merciful: he brings to the borders of the grave, and raises up again. O how good it is to suffer? How glorious to have grace triumph over nature? How sweet to lay low at the foot of the cross, and bless God for every thing which more conforms us to the suffering Jesus? Be watchful, and earnest. _Adieu._
* * * * *
_My dear Friend_,
*WHERE the consideration of the prophecies is a means of stirring any one up to greater diligence, or making them sit looser to the things of this world, and seek more earnestly after the things of God, they cannot consider them too attentively. Every soul should carefully observe that way, in which God particularly leads it, and punctually follow every means which it finds by experience brings it nearer to God. Some are awakened and brought low by meditating on the severe judgments of God; others are melted down by reflecting on his mercies. Some are employed usefully to themselves, and it may be to others, by accurately considering the several amazing dispensations of God in the whole scheme of our redemption. Others by a more simple and general view of God, as infinite wisdom and infinite love, rest calmly on his will, and though in a lower and less shining way, pursue the same end, viz. salvation by the blood of the Lamb from the power as well as from the guilt of sin, and union with the pure fountain of all happiness. All these ways are good in themselves, and are made so to every soul, which in _them_ follows the leadings of the Spirit of God. But I may make that, which is good in itself, evil to me, by using it _only because_ another thinks it right, and not because I find it the means which most unites my soul to Christ; and therefore we ought never to blame any one for not being affected by that which affects us.