1. FOR many years I had a desire to love God, and thought I could submit to be of any sect or denomination, if this would bring me nearer to him: only rejecting the name of a _Methodist_. For I thought them to be a deluded people, and the off scouring of the earth. I was in this temper, when I heard a Minister preach on _All mine are thine, and thine are mine_. It came to my heart, and I found such a measure of happiness, as I never had done before. But having none to strengthen my hands, or build me up, it gradually died away.
2. After this, a clergyman having been at prayers, a gentlewoman asked me, how I liked him? I said, “Very well: he has had a liberal education, and speaks in a graceful manner.” She said, “But man cannot reach the heart. Did you ever hear the small still voice, whispering peace to your soul?” I felt something of prejudice rise at the question, and replied, “I have lived a good life. I have done no harm, and I do not omit my duty. I go to church every day.” She said, “I am sorry you have got no further.” I was surprised at her impertinence, and rose up to go away. She intreated me to stay a little, saying, “I have but another word to speak. If you are not delivered by a higher power than you have known yet, you will never be saved.” The word _higher power_ struck me to the heart, and brought a ray of light, which shewed me, that notwithstanding all my works, I was _without God in the world_. I found a load of guilt which struck me with terror. I saw my heart was as a cage of unclean birds. I believed, now I shall be a castaway, and knew not where to hide me. I could not speak, but withdrew and retired to my closet, and wrestled with God in mighty prayer. I resolved not to let him go till he had blessed me: crying, “I renounce all I am and all I have: if thou hast any blessing for me, bless me now!” Thus I continued an hour, when those words came with power, _Abide in me and I in thee_. I cried out with much assurance, “My Lord and my God! What is this thou hast done for me?” In the twinkling of an eye my soul was quickened. The seed of God was sown in my heart. My sins were blotted out, and I was raised from the dead, by the word of reconciliation. I felt virtue proceed from Christ, which took away my sins. I now partook of Angel’s food, and knew that I was born of God.