xxv. 9, and go to those who sell, and buy for themselves. Grace is a good soil to grow it in, but it wants watering from the fountain of mercy.
To be poor is not always pleasant, but worse things than that happen at sea. Small shoes are apt to pinch, but not if you have a small foot ; if we have little means it will be well to have little desires. Pov- erty is no shame, but being discontented with it is. In some things the poor are better off than the rich; for if a poor man has to seek meat for his stomach, he is more likely to get what he is after than the rich man who seeks a stomach for his meat. A poor man's table is soon spread, and his labor spares his buying sauce. The best doctors are Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet, and Dr. Merry man, and many a godly ploughman has all these gentlemen to wait upon him. Plenty makes dainty, but hun- ger finds no fault with the cook. Hard work brings health, and an ounce of health is worth a sack of diamonds. It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. There is more sweet in a spoonful of sugar than in a
54 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
cask of vinegar. It is not the quantity of our goods, but the blessing of God on what we have that makes us truly rich. The par- ings of a pippin are better than a whole crab ; a dinner of herbs, with peace, is bet- ter than a stalled ox and contention there- with. " Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble there- with." A little wood will heat my little oven ; why, then, should I murmur because all the woods are not mine ?
When troubles come, it is of no use to fly in the face of God by hard thoughts of providence; that is kicking against the pricks and hurting your feet. The trees bow in the wind, and so must we. Every time the sheep bleats it loses a mouthful, and every time we complain we miss a blessing. Grumbling is a bad trade, and yields no profit, but patience has a golden hand. Our evils will soon be over. After rain comes clear shining ; black crows have wings ; every winter turns to spring ; every night breaks into morning.
Blow the wind never so fast, It will lower at last.
ON PATIENCE. 55
If one door should be shut, God will open another ; if the peas do not yield well, the beans may : if one hen leaves her eggs, another will bring out all her brood : there's a bright side to all things, and a good God everywhere. Somewhere or other in the worst flood of trouble there always is a dry spot for contentment to get its foot on, and if there were not it would learn to swim.
Friends, let us take to patience and water gruel, as the old folks used to tell us, rather than catch the miserables, and give others the disease^ by wickedly finding fault with God. The best remedy for affliction is sub- mitting to providence. What can't be cured must be endured. If we cannot get bacon, let us bless God that there are still some cabbages in the garden. Must is a hard nut to crack, but it has a sweet kernel. " All things work together for good to them that love God." Whatever falls from the skies is, sooner or later, good for the land : whatever comes to us from God is worth having, even though it be a rod. We can- not by nature like trouble any more than a mouse can fall in love with a cat, and yet Paul by grace came to glory in tribulations
56 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
also. Losses and crosses are heavy to bear, but when our hearts are right with God it is wonderful how easy the yoke becomes. We must needs go to glory by the way of Weeping Cross ; and as we were never promised that we should ride to heaven in a feather bed, we must not be disappointed when we see the road to be rough, as our fathers found it before us. All's well that ends well ; and, therefore, let us plough the heaviest soil with our eye on the sheaves of harvest, and learn to sing at our labor while others murmur.
ON GOSSIPS.
" Don't be the devil's bellows, to blow up the fire of strife." — Page 61.
IN Walton church, in our county, there is a brank, or scold's bridle, which was used in years gone by to keep women's tongues from troubling their husbands and
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58 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
their neighbors. They did queer things in those good old times. Was this bridle a proof of what our parson calls the wis- dom of our ancestors, or was it a bit of needless cruelty ?
" It is nothing — only a woman drowning," is a wicked and spiteful old saying, which, like the bridle, came out of the common notion that women do a world of mischief with their tongues. Is it so or not? John Ploughman will leave somebody else to answer, for he owns that he cannot keep a secret himself, and likes a dish of chat as well as anybody ; only John does not care for cracking people's characters, and hates the slander which is so sweet to some peo- ple's teeth. John puts the question to wiser men than himself: Are women much worse than men in this business? They say that silence is a fine jewel for a woman, but it is very little worn. Is it so ? Is it true that a woman only conceals what she does not know ? Are women's tongues like lambs' tails, always wagging ? They say foxes are all tail, and women all tongue. Is this false or not ? Was that old prayer a needful one — " From big guns and
ON GOSSIPS. 59
women's tongues deliver us ? " John has a right good and quiet wife of his own, whose voice is so sweet that he cannot hear it too often, and therefore he is not a fair judge; but he is half afraid that some other women would sooner preach than pray, and would not require strong tea to set their clappers going; but still what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, and some men are quite as bad blabs as the women.
What a pity that there is not a tax upon words: what an income the Queen would get from it ; but, alas ! talking pays no toll. And if lies paid double, the gov- ernment might pay off the National Debt ; but who could collect the money ? Common fame is a common liar. Hearsay is half lies. A tale never loses in the telling. As a snowball grows by rolling, so does a story. They who talk much lie much. If men only said what was true, what a peaceable world we should see ! Silence seldom makes mischief; but talking is a plague to the parish. Silence is wisdom ; and, by this rule, wise men and wise women are scarce. Still waters are the deepest ; but the shal-
60 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
lowest brooks brawl the most ; this shows how plentiful fools must be. An open mouth shows an empty head. If the chest had gold or silver in it, it would not al- ways stand wide open. Talking comes by nature, but it needs a good deal of train- ing to learn to be quiet ; yet regard for truth should put a bit into every honest man's mouth, and a bridle upon every good woman's tongue.
If we must talk, at least let us be free from slander, but let us not blister our tongues with backbiting. Slander may be sport to talebearers, but it is death to those whom they abuse. We can commit mur- der with the tongue as well as with the hand. The worst evil you can do a man is to in- jure his character; as the Quaker said to his dog, " I'll not beat thee, nor abuse thee, but I'll give thee an ill name." All are not thieves that dogs bark at, but they are generally treated as if they were ; for the world for the most part believes that where there is smoke there is fire, and what every- body says must be true. Let us then be careful that we do not hurt our neighbor in so tender a point as his character, for
ON GOSSIPS. 61
it is hard to get dirt off if it is once thrown on ; and when a man is once in people's bad books, he is hardly ever quite out of them. If we would be sure not to speak amiss, it might be as well to speak as lit- tle as possible ; for if all men's sins were divided into two bundles, half of them would be sins of the tongue. " If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body."
Gossips of both genders, give up the shameful trade of talebearing; don't be the devil's bellows any longer to blow up the fire of strife. Leave off setting people by the ears. If you do not cut a bit off your tongues, at least season them with the salt of grace. Praise God more and blame neighbors less. Any goose can cackle, any fly can find out a sore place, any empty bar- rel can give forth sound, any brier can tear a man's flesh. No flies will go down your throat if you keep your mouth shut, and no evil speaking will come up. Think much, but say little : be quick at work and slow at talk ; and above all, ask the great Lord to set a watch over your lips.
ON SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES.
" Dear me, is the train gone ? My watch must have stopped in the night."
SOME men are never awake when the train starts, but crawl into the station just in time to see that everybody is off, and then sleepily say, " Dear me, is the (62)
ON SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES. 63
train gone? My watch must have stopped in the night." They always come into town a day after the fair, and open their wares an hour after the market is over. They make their hay when the sun has left off shining, and cut their corn as soon as the fine weather is ended ; they cry, " Hold hard ! " after the shot has left the gun, and lock the stable door when the steed is stolen. They are like a cow's tail, always behind ; they take time by the heels, and not by the forelock, if indeed they ever take him at all. They are no more worth than an old almanack; their time has gone for being of use; but, unfortunately, you can- not throw them away as you would the al- manack, for they are like the cross old lady who had an annuity left her, and meant to take out the full value of it; they won't die, though they are of no use alive. Take-it easy and Live-long are first cousins, they say, and the more's the pity. "If they are immortal till their work is done, they will not die in a hurry, for they have not even begun to work yet. Shiftless people gener- ally excuse their laziness by saying " they are only a little behind ; " but a little too late
64 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
is much too late, and a miss is as good as a mile. My neighbor Sykes covered up his well after his child was drowned in it; and was very busy down at the Old Farm bring- ing up buckets of water after every stick of the house had been burnt ; one of these days he'll be for making his will when he can't hold a pen, and he'll be trying to repent of his sins when his senses are going.
These slow coaches think that to-morrow is better than to-day, and take for their rule an old proverb turned topsy-turvy — " Never do to-day what you can put off till to-mor- row." They are forever waiting until their ship comes home, and always dreaming about things looking up by-and-by ; while grass grows in their furrows, and the cows get through the gaps in their hedges. If the birds would but wait to have salt put on their tails, what a breakfast they would take home to their families ! but while things move as fast as they do, the youngsters at home will have to fill their mouths with empty spoons. " Never mind," say they, " there are better times coming ; wait a lit- tle longer." Their birds are all in the bush, and rare fat ones they are, according to their
ON SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES, 65
account ; and so they had need to be, for they have had none in the hand yet, and wife and children are half starved. Some- thing will turn up, they say ; why don't the stupids go and turn it up themselves ? Time and tide wait for no man, and yet these fel- lows loiter about as if they had a freehold of time, a lease of their lives, and a rabbit warren of opportunities. They will find out their mistake when want finds them out, and that will not be long with some in our village, for they are already a long way on the road to Needham. They who would not plough must not expect to eat ; they who waste the spring will have a lean au- tumn. They would not strike when the iron was hot, and they will soon find the cold iron very hard.
" He that will not when he may, When he will he shall have nay."
Time is not tied to a post, like a horse to a manger ; it passes like the wind, and he who would grind his corn by it must set the mill- sails. He that gapes till he be fed, will gape till he be dead. Nothing is to be got with- out pains except poverty and dirt. In the 5
66 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
old days they said, " Jack gets on by his stu- pidity : " Jack would find it very different nowadays, I think ; but never in old times, or any other times, would Jack get on by foolishly letting present chances slip by him ; for hares never run into the mouths of sleep- ing dogs. He that hath time, and looks for better time, time comes that he repents himself of time. There's no good in lying down and crying, " God help us ! " God helps those who help hemselves. When I see a man who declares that the times are bad, and that he is always unlucky, I gen- erally say to myself, that old goose did not sit on the eggs till they were all addled, and now providence is to be blamed because they won't hatch. I never had any faith in luck at all, except that I believe good luck will carry a man over a ditch if he jumps well, and will put a bit of bacon into his pot if he looks after his garden and keeps a pig. Luck generally comes to those who look after it, and my notion is that it taps at least once in a lifetime at everybody's door, but if industry does not open it, away it goes. Those who have lost the last coach, and let every opportunity slip by them, turn
ON SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES. 67
to abusing providence for setting everything against them: "If I were a hatter," says one, " men would be born without heads." " If I went to the sea for water, " quoth an- other, " I should find it dried up." Every wind is foul for a crazy ship. Neither the wise nor the wealthy can help him who has long refused to help himself.
John Ploughman in the most genteel man- ner sends his compliments to his friends, and now that harvest is over, and the hops all picked, according to promise, he intends giving them a bit of poetry, just to show that he is trying the polishing brushes. John asked the minister to lend him one of the poets, and he gave him the works of George Herbert, — very good, no doubt, but rather tangled, like Harkaway Wood ; still, there's a good deal in the queer old verses, and every now and then one comes upon clus- ters of the sweetest nuts, but some of them are rather hard to crack. The following verse is somewhat near the subject now in hand, and is plain enough in reason, though, begging the poet's pardon, John can't see a rhyme in it; however, as it is by the great Herbertr it must be good, and will do well
68 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
enough to ornament John's talk, like a flower stuck in a button-hole of his Sun- day coat.
" Let thy mind still be bent, still plotting where, And when, and how thy business may be done. Slackness breeds worms ; but the sure traveller, Though he alight sometimes, still goeth on. Acting and stirring spirits live alone : Write on the others, Here lies such a one"
ON KEEPING ONE'S EYES OPEN.
" There are many baits for fishes."
TO get through this world a man must look about him, and even sleep with one eye open ; for there are many baits for
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70 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
fishes, many nets for birds, and many traps for men. While foxes are so common we must not be geese. There is a very great difference in this matter among people of my acquaintance: many see more with one eye than others with two, and many have fine eyes and cannot see a jot. All heads are not sense-boxes. Some are so cunning that they suspect everybody, and so live all their lives in miserable fear of their neighbors ; others are so simple that every knave takes them in, and makes his penny of them. One man tries to see through a brick wall, and hurts his eyes ; while another finds out a hole in it, and sees as far as he pleases. Some work at the mouth of a furnace, and are never scorched ; and others burn their hands at the fire when they only mean to warm them. Now, it is true that no one can give another experi- ence, and we must all pick up wit for our- selves; yet I shall venture to give some of the homely cautions which have served my turn, and perhaps they may be of use to others as they have been to me.
Nobody is more like an honest man than a thorough rogue. When you see a man
ON KEEPING ONE'S EYES OPEN. 71
with a great deal .of religion displayed in his shop window, you may depend upon it he keeps a very small stock of it within. Do not choose your friend by his looks : handsome shoes often pinch the feet. Don't be fond of compliments : remember, " Thank you, pussy, and thank you, pussy," killed the cat. Don't believe in the man who talks most; for mewing cats are very seldom good mousers. By no means put yourself in another person's power: if you put pour thumb between two grinders, they are very apt to bite. Drink nothing without seeing it; sign nothing without reading it, and make sure that it means no more than it says. Don't go to law unless you have nothing to lose : lawyer's houses are built on fools' heads. In any business, never wade into water where you cannot see the bottom. Put no dependence upon the label of a bag ; and count money after your own kin. See the sack opened before you buy what is in it ; for he who trades in the dark asks to be cheated. Keep clear of the man who does not value his own character. Beware of everyone who swears : he who would blaspheme his Maker would make
72 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
no bones of lying or stealing. Beware of no man more than of yourself: we carry our worst enemies within us. When a new opinion or doctrine comes before you, do not bite till you know whether it is bread or a stone ; and do not be sure that the gingerbread is good because of the gilt on it. Never shout holloa ! till you are quite out of the wood; and don't cry fried fish till they are caught in the net. There's always time enough to boast — wait a little longer. Don't throw away dirty water till you have got clean ; keep on at scraping the roads till you can get better work; for the poorest pay is better than none, and the humblest office is better than being out of employment. Always give up the road to bulls and madmen ; and never fight with a coalheaver or contend with a base char- acter; for they will be sure to blacken you.
" Neither trust nor contend, Nor lay wagers, nor lend, And you may depend You'll have peace to your end."
I cannot say quite so much as that old rhyme does, for there's more than that
ON KEEPING ONE 'S E YES OPEN. 73
wanted to give peace, but certainly it will help to it. Never ride a broken-kneed horse : the trader who has once been a fraudulent bankrupt is not the man for you to deal with. A rickety chair is a danger- ous seat. Be shy of people who are over polite, and don't be too fast with those who are forward and rough. When you sus- pect a design in anything, be on your guard ; set the trap as soon as you smell a rat, but mind you don't catch your own fingers in it. Have very little to do with a boaster, for his beer is all froth, and though he brags that all his goods, and even his cop- per kettles, are gold and silver, you will soon find out that a boaster and a liar are first cousins. Commit all your secrets to no man ; trust in God with all your heart, but let your confidence in friends be weighed in the balances of prudence, seeing that men are but men, and all men are frail. Trust not great weights to slender threads. Yet be not evermore suspicious, for suspicion is a cowardly virtue at best. Men are not angels, remember that ; but they are not devils, and it is too bad to think them so. One thing be sure of, never believe in any
74 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
priest of any religion, for before a man could be bad enough to pretend to be a priest, he must have hardened his heart and blinded his conscience to the most horrible degree. Our governors imprison gipsies for telling fortunes, and yet they give fat liv- ings to those vagabonds who deceive the people in much weightier things. " Bad company," said the thief, as he went to the gallows between the hangman and a priest ; a very honest speech, and a very true word, though spoken in jest. It is the ignorance of fools which keeps the pot boiling for priests. May God clean this land from the plague of their presence, and make men wise enough to see through their crafty devices. Lastly, my advice to all is — remember that good wisdom is that which will turn out to be wise in the end ; seek it, friends, and seek it at the hands of the wisest of all teachers, the Lord Jesus. Trust him, and he will never fail you ; be guided by his word, and it will never mislead you ; pray in his name, and your requests shall be granted. Re- member, he that leans on man will find him a broken reed, but he who builds on Christ has a firm foundation. You may follow
ON KEEPING ONE'S EYES OPEN 75
Jesus with your eyes shut if you please, but when others would guide you keep all your eyes open even if you have a dozen, and all of them as powerful as telescopes.
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHT.
" Two heads are better than one." — Page 77.
THIS paper is very little of it to be set down to the account of John Plough- man, for our minister, as I may say, found the horses and held the plough handles, and (76)
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHT 77
the ploughman only put in a smack of the whip every now and then, just to keep folks awake. " Two heads are better than one," said the woman when she took her dog with her to market : begging his pardon, our minister is the woman, and the only sensible head in the whole affair. He is a man who is used to giving his people many things of a very different sort from any- thing which a ploughman is likely to turn out of his wallet ; but I have, at his request, dropped in a few homely proverbs into his thoughts, as he says, " by way of salt ; " which is his very kind way of putting it. I only hope I have not spoiled his writing with my rough expressions. If he thinks well of it, I should like a few more of his pieces to tack my sayings to ; and the pub- lic shall always be honestly told whether the remarks are to be considered as alto- gether " John Ploughman's Talk," or as the writings of two characters rolled into one. There are not so many hours in a year as there may be thoughts in an hour. Thoughts fly in flocks, like starlings, and swarm like bees. Like the sere leaves in autumn, there is no counting them ; and
78 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
like links in a chain, one draws on another. What a restless being man is ! His thoughts dance up and down like midges in a sum- mer's evening. Like a clock full of wheels, with the pendulum in full swing, his mind moves as fast as time flies. This makes thinking such an important business. Many littles make a mickle ; and so many light thoughts make a great weight of sin. A grain of sand is light enough, but Solomon tells us that a heap of sand is heavy. Where there are so many children the mother had need look well after them. We ought to mind our thoughts, for if they turn to be our enemies, they will be too many for us, and will drag us down to ruin. Thoughts from heaven, like birds in spring, will fill our souls with music ; but thoughts of evil will sting us like vipers.
There is a notion abroad that thought is free; but I remember reading, that al- though thoughts are toll-free, they are not hell-free ; and that saying quite agrees with the good old Book. We cannot be sum- moned before an earthly court for thinking ; but depend upon it we shall have to be tried for it at the Last Assizes. Evil thoughts
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHT. 79
are the marrow of sin ; the malt that sin is brewed from ; the tinder which catches the sparks of the devil's temptations ! the churn in which the milk of imagination is churned into purpose and plan ; the nest in which all evil birds lay their eggs. Be certain, then, that, as sure as fire burns brushwood as well as logs, God will punish thoughts of sin as well as deeds of sin.
Let no one suppose that thoughts are not known to the Lord ; for he has a win- dow into the closest closet of the soul ; a window to which there are no shutters. As we watch bees in a glass hive, so does the eye of the Lord see us. The Bible says, " Hell and destruction are before the Lord : how much more then the hearts of the chil- dren of men?" Man is all outside to God. With heaven there are no secrets. That which is done in the private chamber of the heart is as public as the streets before the all-seeing eye.
But some will say that they cannot help having bad thoughts; that may be, but the question is, do they hate them or not ? We cannot keep thieves from looking in at our windows, but if we open our doors to
80 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK,
them, and receive them joyfully, we are as bad as they. We cannot help the birds fly- ing over our heads ; but we may keep them from building their nests in our hair. Vain thoughts will knock at the door, but we must not open to them. Though sinful thoughts rise, they must not reign. He who turns a morsel over and over in his mouth, does so because he likes the flavor ; and he who meditates upon evil, loves it, and is ripe to commit it. Think of the devil, and he will appear ; turn your thoughts towards sin, and your hands will soon follow. Snails leave their slime behind them, and so do vain thoughts. An arrow may fly through the air, and leave no trace ; but an ill thought always leaves a trail like a serpent. Where there is much traffic of bad thinking, there will be much mire and dirt ; every wave of wicked thought adds something to the cor- ruption which rots upon the shore of life. It is dreadful to think, that a vile imagina- tion, once indulged, gets the key of our minds, and can get in again very easily, whether we will or no, and can so return as to bring seven other spirits with it more wicked than itself; and what may follow, no
THOUGHTS ABOUT THOUGHT. Si
one knows. Nurse sin on the knees of thought, and it will grow into a giant. Dip tow in naphtha, and how it will blaze when fire gets to it ! lay a man asoak in depraved thought, and he is ready to flame up into open sin as soon as ever opportunity occurs. This shows us the wisdom of watching, every day, the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts. Good thoughts are blessed guests, and should be heartily welcomed, well fed, and much sought after. Like rose leaves, they give out a sweet smell if laid up in the jar of memory. They cannot be too much cultivated ; they are a crop which enriches the soil. As the hen broods her chickens under her wings, so should we cherish all holy thoughts. As the poor man's ewe lamb ate of his own bread and lay in his bosom, even so should godly med- itation be very dear to us. Holy thoughts breed holy words and holy actions, and are hopeful evidences of a renewed heart. Who would not have them ? To keep chaff out of a bushel, one sure plan is to fill it full of wheat ; and to keep out vain thoughts, it is wise and prudent to have the mind stored with choice subjects for meditation : 6
82 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
these are easy to find, and we should never be without them. May we all be able to say with David, " In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul."
FAULTS.
" What's rotten will rend." — Page 85.
HE who boasts of being perfect is per- fect in folly. I have been a good deal up and down in the world, and I never did see either a perfect horse or a perfect man, and I never shall till two Sundays
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84 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
come together. You cannot get white flour out of a coal sack, nor perfection out of human nature ; he who looks for it had bet- ter look for sugar in the sea. The old say- ing is, " Lifeless, faultless : " of dead men we should say nothing but good, but as for the living, they are all tarred more or less with the black brush, and half an eye can see it. Every head has a soft place in it, and every heart has its black drop. Every rose has its prickles, and every day its night. Even the sun shows spots, and the skies are darkened with clouds. Nobody is so wise but he has folly enough to stock a stall at Vanity Fair. Where I could not see the fool's-cap, I have nevertheless heard the bells jingle. As there is no sunshine with- out some shadows, so is all human good mixed up with more or less of evil ; even poor law guardians have their little failings, and parish beadles are not wholly of heavenly nature. The best wine has its lees. All men's faults are not written on their foreheads, and it's quite as well they are not, or hats would need very wide brims, yet, as sure as eggs are eggs, faults of some sort nestle in every bosom. There's no
FAULTS. 85
telling when a man's sins may show them- selves, for hares pop out of the ditch just when you are not looking for them. A horse that is weak in the legs may not stumble for a mile or two, but it is in him, and the rider had better hold him up well. The tabby cat is not lapping milk just now, but leave the dairy door open, and we will see if she is not as bad a thief as the kitten. There's fire in the flint, cool as it looks : wait till the steel gets a knock at it, and you will see. Everybody can read that riddle, but it is not everybody that will remember to keep his gunpowder out of the way of the candle.
If we would always recollect that we live among men who are imperfect, we should not be in such a fever when we find out our friends' failings ; what's rotten will rend, and cracked pots will leak. Blessed is he who expects nothing of poor flesh and blood, for he shall never be disappointed. The best of men are men at the best, and the best wax will melt.
It is a good horse that never stumbles, And a good wife that never grumbles.
But surely such horses and wives are only
86 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
found in the fool's paradise, where dump- lings grow on trees. In this wicked world the straightest timber has knots in it, and the cleanest field of wheat has its share of weeds. The most careful driver one day upsets the cart, the cleverest cook spills a little broth, and as I know to my sorrow a very decent ploughman will now and then break the plough, and often make a crooked furrow. It is foolish to turn off a tried friend because of a failing or two, for you may get rid of a one-eyed nag and buy a blind one. Being all of us full of faults, we ought to keep two bears, and learn to bear and forbear with one another ; since we all live in glass houses, we should none of us throw stones. Everybody laughs when the saucepan says to the kettle, " How black you are ! " Other men's imperfections show us our imperfections, for one sheep is much like another ; and if there's an apple in my neighbor's eye, there is no doubt one in mine. We ought to use our neighbors as looking glasses to see our own faults in, and mend in ourselves what we see in them.
I have no patience with those who poke their noses into every man's house to smell
FAULTS. 87
out his faults, and put on magnifying glasses to discover their neighbors' flaws ; such folks had better look at home, they might see the devil where they little ex- pected. What we wish to see we shall see, or think we see. Faults are always thick where love is thin. A white cow is all black if your eye chooses to make it so. If we sniff long enough at rose water, we shall find out that it has a bad smell. It would be a far more pleasant business, at least for other people, if fault hunters would turn their dogs to hunt out the good points in other folks ; the game would pay better, and nobody would stand with a pitchfork to keep the huntsmen off his farm. As for our own faults, it would take a large slate to hold the account of them, but, thank God, we know where to take them, and how to get the better of them. With all our faults, God loves us still if we are trusting in his Son, therefore let us not be downhearted, but hope to live and learn, and do some good service before we die. Though the cart creaks it will get home with its load, and the old horse, broken kneed as he is, will do a sight of work yet. There's no use
88 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
in lying down and doing nothing, because we cannot do everything as we should like. Faults or no faults, ploughing must be done, and imperfect people must do it too, or there will be no harvest next year; bad ploughman as John may be, the angels won't do his work for him, and so he is off to do it himself. Go along, Violet ! Gee woa! Depper!
THINGS NOT WORTH TRYING.
" I have often been told to be bold, and take the bull by the horns." — Page 93.
THAT is a wise old saying, " Spend not all you have ; believe not all you hear ; tell not all you know, and do not all you can." There is so much work to be done that needs our hands that it is a pity
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to waste a grain of our strength. When the game is not worth the candle, drop it at once. It is wasting time to look for milk in a gate-post, or blood in a turnip, or sense in a fool. Never ask a covetous man for money till you have boiled a flint soft. Don't sue a debtor who has not a penny to bless himself with — you will only be throw- ing good money after bad, which is like losing your ferret without getting a rabbit. Never offer a looking-glass to a blind man : if a man is so proud that he will not see his faults, he will only quarrel with you for pointing them out to him. It is of no use to hold a lantern to a mole, or to talk of heaven to a man who cares for nothing but his dirty money. There's a time for everything, and it is a silly thing to preach to drunken men, it is casting pearls before swine ; get them sober, and. then talk to them soberly; if you lecture them while they are drunk, you act as if you were drunk yourself.
Do not put a cat on a coach box, or men in places for which they are not fitted. There's no making apples of plums : little minds will still be little, even if you make them beadles or churchwardens. It's a pity
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to turn a monkey into a minister, or a maid- servant into a mistress. Many preachers are good tailors spoiled, and capital shoe- makers turned out of their proper calling. When God means a creature to fly, he gives it wings, and when he intends men to preach he gives them abilities. It is a pity to push a man into the war if he cannot fight. Bet- ter discourage a man's climbing than help him to break his neck. Silk purses are not to be made out of sows' ears, and pigs will never play well on the flute, teach them as long as you like.
It is not wise to aim at impossibilities — it is a waste of powder to fire at the man in the moon. Making deal boards out of saw- dust is a very sensible scheme compared with what some of my London friends have been aiming at, for they have been trying to get money by buying shares in companies : they might quite as soon catch the wind in a net, or carry water in a sieve. Bubbles are fine fun for boys, but bubble com- panies are edged tools that none should play with. If my friend has money which he can afford to lose, there is still no reason why he should hand it over to a set of knaves :
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if I wanted to get rid of my leg, I should not get a shark to snap it off for me. Give your money to fools sooner than let rogues wheedle you out of it.
It is never worth while to do unnecessary things. Never grease a fat sow, or praise a proud man. Don't make clothes for fishes, or coverings for altars. Don't paint lilies or garnish the gospel. Never bind up a man's head before it is broken, or comfort a conscience that makes no confession. Never hold up a candle to show the sun, or try to prove a thing which nobody doubts. I would advise no one to attempt a thing which will cost more than it is worth. You may sweeten a dunghill with lavender water, and a bad living man may keep up a good character by an outward showT of religion, but it will turn out a losing business in the long run. If our nation were sensible, it would sweep out a good many expensive but useless people, who eat the malt which lies in the house that Jack built ; they live on the national estate, but do it little service. To pay a man a pound for earning a penny is a good deal wiser than keeping bishops who meet together by the score and consult
THINGS NOT WORTH TRYING, 93
about the best way of doing nothing. If my master's old dog was as sleepy as the bishops are, he would get shot or drowned, for he wouldn't be worth the amount of the dog-tax. However, their time of reckoning is on the road, as sure as Christmas is com- ing.
Long ago my experience taught me not to dispute with anybody about tastes and whims; one might as well argue about what you can see in the fire. It is of no use plough- ing the air, or trying to convince a man against his will in matters of no consequence. It is useless to try to end a quarrel by get- ting angry over it ; it is much the same as pouring oil on a fire to quench it, and blow- ing coals with the bellows to put them out. Some people like rows — I don't envy their choice; I'd rather walk ten miles to get out of a dispute than half-a-mile to get into one. I have often been told to be bold, and take the bull by the horns, but, as I rather think that the amusement is more pleasant than profitable, I shall leave it to those who are so cracked already that an ugly poke with a horn would not damage their skulls. Sol- omon says, " Leave off strife before it be
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meddled with," which is much the same as if he had said, " Leave off before you be- gin. " When you see a mad dog, don't ar- gue with him unless you are sure of your logic ; better get out of his way, and if any- body calls you a coward, you need not call him a fool — everybody knows that. Med- dling in quarrels never answers ; let hornets' nests alone, and don't pull down old houses over your own head. Meddlers are sure to hurt their own characters; if you scrub other people's pigs, you will soon need scrubbing yourself. It is the height of folly to interfere between a man and his wife, for they will be sure to leave off fighting each other and turn their whole strength upon you — and serve you right too ; if you will put your spoon into other people's broth, and it scalds you, who is to blame but your- self?
One thing more, don't attempt to make a strong-headed woman give way, but re- member—
" If she will, she will, you may depend on't : If she won't, she won't, and there's an end on't.
The other day I cut out of a newspaper
THINGS NOT WORTH TRYING. 95
a scrap from America, which shall be my tail-piece : — " Dip the Mississippi dry with a tea-spoon ; twist your heel into the toe of your boot ; send up fishing-hooks with bal- loons and fish for stars ; get astride a gossa- mer and chase a comet ; when a rain storm is coming down like the cataract of Niagara, remember where you left your umbrella ; choke a flea with a brickbat ! in short, prove everything hitherto considered impossible to be possible — but never attempt to coax a woman to say she will when she has made up her mind to say she won't."
DEBT.
" The poor debtor was set free, like a bird let out of a cage." — Page 98.
WHEN I was a very small boy, in pina- fores, and went to a woman's school, it so happened that I wanted a stick of slate pencil, and had no money to buy it with. (96)
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I was afraid of being scolded for losing my pencils so often, for I was a real careless little fellow, and so did not dare to ask at home ; what then was John to do ? There was a little shop in the place, where nuts, and tops, and cakes, and balls were sold by- old Mrs. Dearson, and sometimes I had seen boys and girls get trusted by the old lady. I argued with myself that Christmas was com- ing, and that somebody or other would be sure to give me a penny then, and perhaps even a whole silver sixpence. I would, therefore, go into debt for a stick of slate pencil, and be sure to pay at Christmas. I did not feel easy about it, but still I screwed my courage up and went into the shop. One farthing was the amount, and as I had never owed anything before, and my credit was good, the pencil was handed over by the kind dame, and / was in debt. It did not please me much, and I felt as if I had done wrong, but I little knew how soon I should smart for it. How my father came to hear of this little stroke of business I never knew, but some little bird or other whistled it to him, and he was very soon down upon me in right earnest. God bless him for it ; he was
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a sensible man, and none of your children spoilers ; he did not intend to bring up his children to speculate, and play at what big rogues call financing, and therefore he knocked my getting into debt on the head at once, and no mistake. He gave me a very powerful lecture upon getting into debt, and how like it was to stealing, and upon the way in which people were ruined by it ; and how a boy who would owe a farthing, might one day owe a hundred pounds, and get into prison, and bring his family into disgrace. It was a lecture, indeed ; I think I can hear it now, and can feel my ears ting- ling at the recollection of it. Then I was marched off to the shop like a deserter marched into barracks, crying bitterly all down the street, and feeling dreadfully ashamed, because I thought everybody knew I was in debt. The farthing was paid amid many solemn warnings, and the poor debtor was set free, like a bird let out of a cage. How sweet it felt to be out of debt ! How did my little heart vow and declare that nothing should ever tempt me into debt again ! It was a fine lesson, and I have never forgotten it. If all boys were inocu-
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lated with the same doctrine when they were young, it would be as good as a fortune to them, and save them waggon-loads of trouble in after life. God bless my father, say I, and send a breed of such fathers into old England to save her from being eaten up with villainy, for what with companies and schemes and paper-money, the nation is getting to be as rotten as touchwood.
Ever since that early sickening I have hated debt as Luther hated the Pope, and if I say some fierce things about it, you must not wonder. To keep debt, dirt, and the devil out of my cottage has been my greatest wish ever since I set up housekeep- ing ; and although the last of the three has sometimes got in by the door or the window, for the old serpent will wriggle through the smallest crack, yet, thanks to a good wife, hard work, honesty, and scrubbing brushes, the two others have not crossed the thresh- old. Debt is so degrading, that if I owed a man a penny I would walk twenty miles, in the depth of winter, to pay him, sooner than feel that I was under an obligation. I should be as comfortable with peas in my shoes, or a hedgehog in my bed, or a snake up my
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back, as with bills hanging over my head at the grocer's, and the baker's, and the tailor's. Poverty is hard, but debt is horrible ; a man might as well have a smoky house and a scolding wife, which are said to be the two worst evils of our life. We may be poor, and yet respectable, which John Ploughman and wife hope they are and will be ; but a man in debt cannot even respect himself, and he is sure to be talked about by the neighbors, and that talk will not be much to his credit. Some persons appear to like to be owing money ; but I would as soon be a cat up a chimney with the fire alight, or a fox with the hounds at my heels, or a hedge- hog on a pitchfork, or a mouse under an owl's claw. An honest man thinks a purse full of other people's money to be worse than an empty one ; he cannot bear to eat other people's cheese, wear other people's shirts, and walk about in other people's shoes, neither will he be easy while his wife is decked out in the milliner's bonnets, and wears the draper's flannels. The jackdaw in the peacock's feathers was soon plucked, and borrowers will surely come to poverty — a
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poverty of the bitterest sort, because there is shame in it.
Living beyond their incomes is the ruin of many of my neighbors ; they can hardly * afford to keep a rabbit, and must needs drive a pony and chaise. I am afraid extravagance is the common disease of the times, and many professing Christians have caught it, to their shame and sorrow. Good cotton or stuff gowns are not good enough nowadays ; girls must have silks and satins, and then there's a bill at the dressmaker's as long as a winter's night, and quite as dismal. Show, and style, and smartness run away with a man's means, keep the family poor, and the father's nose down on the grindstone. Frogs try to look as big as bulls, and burst themselves. A pound a-week apes five hundred a-year, and comes to the county court. Men burn the candle at both ends, and then say they are very unfortunate — why don't they put the saddle on the right horse, and say they are ex- travagant ? Economy is half the battle in life ; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well. Hundreds would never have known want if they had not first known
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waste. If all poor men's wives knew how to cook, how far a little might go ! Our minister says the French and the Germans beat us hollow in nice cheap cookery, I wish they would send missionaries over to convert our gossiping women into good managers ; this is a French fashion which would be a deal more useful than those fine pictures in Mrs. Frippery's window, with ladies rigged out in a new style every month. Dear me! some people are much too fine nowadays to eat what their fathers were thankful to see on the table, and so they please their palates with costly feeding, come to the workhouse, and expect everybody to pity them. They turned up their noses at bread and butter, and came to eat raw turnips stolen out of the fields. They who live like fighting cocks at other men's costs, will get their combs cut, or perhaps get roasted for it one of these days. If you have a great store of peas, you may put the more in the soup; but everybody should fare according to his earnings. He is both a fool and a knave who has a shilling coming in, and on the strength of it spends a pound which does not belong to him. Cut your coat
DEBT. 103
according to your cloth is sound advice; but cutting other peopled cloth by running into debt is as like thieving as fourpence is like a groat. If I meant to be a rogue I would deal in marine stores, or be a pettifog- ging lawyer, or a priest, or open a loan office, or go out picking pockets, but I would scorn the dirty art of getting into debt without a prospect of being able to pay.
Debtors can hardly help being liars, for they promise to pay when they know they cannot, and when they have made up a lot of false excuses they promise again, and so they lie as fast as a horse can trot.
" You have debts, and make debts still, If you've not lied, lie you will. "
Now, if owing leads to lying, who shall say that it is not a most evil thing ? Of course, there are exceptions, and I do not want to bear hard upon an honest man who is brought down by sickness or heavy losses, but take the rule as a rule, and you will find debt to be a great dismal swamp, a huge mud- hole, a dirty ditch : happy is the man who gets out of it after once tumbling in, but
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happiest of all is he who has been by God's goodness kept out of the mire altogether. If you once ask the devil to dinner it will be hard to get him out of the house again : better to have nothing to do with him. Where a hen has laid one egg she is very likely to lay another; when a man is once in debt, he is likely to get into it again ; better keep clear of it from the first. He who gets in for a penny will soon be in for a pound, and when a man is over shoes, he is very liable to be over boots. Never owe a farthing, and you will never owe a guinea. If you want to sleep soundly, buy a bed of a man who is in debt; surely it must be a very soft one, or he never could have rested so easy on it. I suppose people get hardened to it, as Smith's donkey did when its master broke so many sticks across its back. It seems to me that a real honest man would sooner get as lean as a grey- hound than feast on borrowed money, and would choke up his throat with March dust before he would let the landlord make chalks against him behind the door for a beer score. What pins and needles tradesmen's bills must stick in a fellow's soul ! A pig on
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credit always grunts. Without debt, with- out care ; out of debt, out of danger ; but owing and borrowing are bramble bushes full of thorns. If ever I borrow a spade of my next door neighbor I never feel safe with it for fear I should break it ; I never can dig in peace as I do with my own ; but if I had a spade at the shop and knew I could not pay for it, I think I should set to and dig my own grave out of shame. Script- ure says, " Owe no man anything," which does not mean pay your debts, but never have any to pay ; and my opinion is, that those who wilfully break this law ought to be turned out of the Christian church, neck and crop, as we say. Our laws are shamefully full of encouragement to credit : nobody need be a thief now ; he has only to open a shop and make a fail of it, and it will pay/ him much better ; as the proverb is, " He who never fails will never grow rich. " Why, I know tradesmen who have failed five or six times, and yet think they are on the road to heaven ; the scoundrels, what would they do if they got there ? They are a deal more likely to go where they shall never come out till they have paid the utter-
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most farthing. But people say, " How liberal they are ! " Yes, with other people's money. I hate to see a man steal a goose and then give religion the giblets. Piety by all means, but pay your way as part of it. Honesty first, then generosity. But how often re- ligion is a cloak for deceiving! There's Mrs. Scamp as fine as a peacock, all the girls out at boarding-school, learning French and the piano, the boys swelling about in kid gloves, and G. B. Scamp, Esq., driving a fast-trotting mare, and taking the chair at public meetings, while his poor creditors cannot get more than enough to live from hand to mouth. It is shameful and beyond endurance to see how genteel swindling is winked at by many in this country. I'd off with their white waistcoats, and kid gloves, and patent leather boots, if I had my way, and give them the county crop, and the prison livery for six months ; gentlemen or not, I'd let them see that big rogues could dance on the treadmill to the same tune as little ones. I'd make the land too hot to hold such scamping gentry if I were a mem- ber of Parliament, or a prime minister : as I've no such power, I can at least write against
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the fellows, and let off the steam of my wrath in that way.
My motto is, pay as you go, and keep from small scores. Short reckonings are soon cleared. Pay what you owe, and what you're worth you'll know. Let the clock tick, but no " tick " for me. Better go to bed without your supper than get up in debt. Sins and debts are always more than we think them to be. Little by little a man gets over head and ears. It is the petty ex- penses that empty the purse. Money is round, and rolls away easily. Tom Thrift- less buys what he does not want because it is a great bargain, and so is soon brought to sell what he does want, and find it a very little bargain ; he cannot say " No " to his friend who wants him to be security ; he gives grand dinners, makes many holidays, keeps a fat table, lets his wife dress fine, never looks after his servants, and by-and- by he is quite surprised to find that quarter- days come round so very fast, and that creditors bark so loud. He has sowed his money in the fields of thoughtlessness, and now he wonders that he has to reap the harvest of poverty. Still he hopes for
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something to turn up to help him out of difficulty, and so muddles himself into more troubles, forgetting that hope and expecta- tion are a fool's income. Being hard up, he goes to market with empty pockets, and buys at whatever prices tradesmen like to charge him, and so he pays more than double and gets deeper and deeper into the mire. This leads him to scheming, and try- ing little tricks and mean dodges, for it is hard for an empty sack to stand upright. This is sure not to answer, for schemes are like spiders' webs, which never catch any- thing better than flies, and are soon swept away. As well attempt to mend your shoes with brown paper, or stop a broken window with a sheet of ice, as try to patch up a falling business with manceuvering and scheming. When the schemer is found out, he is like a dog in church, whom everybody kicks at, and like a barrel of powder, which nobody wants for a neighbor.
They say poverty is a sixth sense, and it had need be, for many debtors seem to have lost the other five, or were born without common sense, for they appear to fancy that you not only make debts, but pay them
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by borrowing. A man pays Peter with what he has borrowed of Paul, and thinks he is getting out of his difficulties, when he is only putting one foot into the mud to pull his other foot out. It is hard to shave an egg, or pull hairs out of a bald pate, but they are both easier than paying debts out of an empty pocket. Samson was a strong man, but he could not pay debts without money, and he is a fool who thinks he can do it by scheming. As to borrowing money of loan societies, it's like a drowning man catching at razors ; both Jews and Gentiles, when they lend money, generally pluck the geese as long as they have any feathers. A man must cut down his outgoings and save his incomings if he wants to clear himself; you can't spend your penny and pay debts with it too. Stint the kitchen if the purse is bare. Don't believe in any way of wiping out debts except by paying hard cash. Promises make debts, and debts make promises, but promises never pay debts ; promising is one thing, and performing is quite another. A good man's word should be as binding as an oath, and he should never promise to pay unless he has a clear
no JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
prospect of doing so in due time ; those who stave off payment by false promises, deserve no mercy. It is all very well to say " I'm very sorry, " but —
" A hundred years of regret Pay not a farthing of debt."
Now I'm afraid all this sound advice might as well have been given to my master's cocks and hens as to those who have got into the way of spending what is not their own, for advice to such people goes in at one ear and out at the other ; well, those who won't listen will have to feel, and those who refuse cheap advice will have to buy dear repentance; but to young people beginning life, a word may be worth a world, and this shall be John Ploughman's short sermon, with three heads to it — always live a little below your means, never get into debt, and remember —
" He who goes a borrowing Goes a sorrowing."
HOME.
Merry times in Ploughman's Cottage.— Page 114.
THAT word home always sounds like poetry to me. It rings like a peal of bells at a wedding, only more soft and
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112 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
sweet, and it chimes deeper into the ears of my heart. It does not matter whether it means thatched cottage or manor house, home is home, be it ever so homely, and there's no place on earth like it. Green grow the houseleek on the roof for ever, and let the moss flourish on the thatch. Sweetly the sparrows chirrup and the swallows twit- ter around the chosen spot which is my joy and rest. Every bird loves its own nest ; the owl thinks the old ruins the fairest spot under the moon, and the fox is of opinion that his hole in the hill is remarkably cosy. When my master's nag knows that his head is towards home he wants no whip, but thinks it best to put on all steam ; and I am always of the same mind, for the way home to me, is the best bit of road in the country. I like to see the smoke out of my own chim- ney better than the fire on another man's hearth ; there's something so beautiful in the way in which it curls up among the trees. Cold potatoes on my own table taste better than roast meat at my neigh- bor's, and the honeysuckle at my own door is the sweetest I ever smell. When you are out, friends do their best, but still it is not
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home. " Make yourself at home," they say, because everybody knows that to feel at home is to feel at ease.
" East and west, Home is best."
Why, at home you are at home, and what more do you want ? Nobody grudges you, whatever your appetite may be ; and you don't get put into a damp bed. Safe is his own castle, like a king in his palace, a man feels himself somebody, and is not afraid of being thought proud for thinking so. Every cock may crow on his own dunghill ; and a dog is a lion when he is at home. A sweep is master inside his own door. No need to guard every word because some enemy is on the watch, no keeping the heart under lock and key ; but as soon as the door is shut it is liberty hall, and none to peep and pry. There is a glorious view from the top of Leith Hill, in our dear old Surrey, and Hindhead and Martha's Chapel, and Box- hill, are not to be sneezed at, but I could show you something which to my mind beats them all to nothing for real beauty : I mean John Ploughman's cottage, with the
114 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK.
kettle boiling on the hob, singing like an unfallen black angel, while the cat is lying asleep in front of the fire, and the wife in her chair mending stockings, and the children cutting about the room, as full of fun as young lambs. It is a singular fact, and perhaps some of you will doubt it, but that is your unbelieving nature, our little ones are real beauties, always a pound or two plumper than others of their age, and yet it don't tire you half so much to nurse them as it does other people's babies. Why, bless you, my wife would knock up in half the time, if her neighbor had asked her to see to a strange youngster, but her own children don't seem to tire her at all ; now my belief is that it all comes of their having been born at home. Just so is it with everything else; our lane is the most beautiful for twenty miles round, because our home is in it ; and my garden is a per- fect paradise, for no other particular reason than this very good one, that it belongs to the old house at home.
I cannot make out why so many work- ing men spend their evenings at the public house, when their own fireside would be so