_Of his deliverance from these temptations._
*IT was in this extremity God stepped in; he found me wallowing in my blood, in a helpless and hopeless condition. I was quite overcome, neither able to fight nor fly, when the Lord passed by me, and made this time a time of love. Towards the beginning of _February 1698_, this seasonable relief came. I was then, as I remember, at secret prayer, when he discovered himself to me, when he let me see, that there are _forgivenesses with him, and mercy, and plenteous redemption. He made all his goodness to pass, and he proclaimed his name, the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin; who will be gracious to whom he will be gracious, and will shew mercy to whom he will shew mercy._ This was a strange sight to one who before looked on God only as a consuming fire, which I could not see and live. He brought me from _Sinai_, and its thundrings, to mount _Sion_, and to _the blood which speaketh better things than that of Abel_. I now with wonder beheld Christ in his glory, _full of grace and truth_. I saw that he, who had before rejected all my offerings, was well pleased in the Beloved, being fully satisfied, not only that there is forgiveness of sins, through the redemption which is in Jesus; but also, that God by this means might be _just_ in _justifying_ even _the ungodly that believe in him_. How was I ravished with delight, to see that such mercy might consist even with his inflexible justice and spotless purity? And yet more, when he let me see, that to me, even to me, was the word of this salvation sent; that even I was invited to _come_, and _take the water of life freely_! Farther, he discovered to me his design in the whole, even _that no flesh might glory in his sight_: that he might manifest the riches of his grace, and _be exalted in shewing mercy_. And when this strange discovery was made, of a relief which made full provision both for God’s glory and my salvation, my soul was sweetly carried out to rest in it, as worthy of God, and every way suited to my necessity.
2. All these discoveries were conveyed to me by his word: not indeed by one particular passage, but by the concurring light of many of its testimonies and promises, seasonably set home, and plainly expressing those truths; thus I found it to be the power of God unto salvation. But neither was it his word alone; for the same passages I had read before, and thought upon, without any relief; but now the Lord shined into my mind by them. Before this I knew the letter only, but now the words were spirit and life; a burning light by them shone into my mind, and gave me not merely some notional knowledge, but an experimental _knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ_. *And vastly different this was from all the notions I had before of the same truths. It shone from heaven: it was not a spark kindled by my own endeavours, but it shone suddenly about me: it came by a heavenly means, the word; it opened heaven, and discovered heavenly things; and its whole tendency was heavenward. It was a true light, giving true manifestations of the one God, and the one Mediator between God and man, and a true view of my state with respect to God, not according to my foolish imaginations. It was a distinct and clear light, not only representing spiritual things, but manifesting them in their glory, and in their comely order. It set all things in their due line of subordination to God, and gave distinct views of their genuine tendency. It was a satisfying light; the soul absolutely rested upon the discoveries it made: it was assured of them; it could not doubt if it saw, or if the things were so as it represented them. It was a quickening, refreshing, healing light. It arose with healing in its wings. It was a powerful light; it dissipated that thick darkness which overspread my mind, and made all those frightful temptations, that before tormented me, instantly flee before it. Lastly, It was a composing light; it did not, like a flash of lightning, fill the soul with fear and amazement; but it quieted my mind, and gave me the full and free use of all my faculties. I need not give a large account of this light, for no words can give a notion of light to the blind; and he that has eyes, (at least, while he sees it) will need no words to describe it. Proceed we, then, to its fruits, whereby the difference of it from all my former light will most evidently appear.