Monday, September 21. I began to correct a little volume of my private writings: God, I believe, remarkably helped me in it: my strength was ♦surprisingly lengthened out, my thoughts quick and lively, and my soul refreshed, hoping it might be a work for God. Oh, how good, how sweet it is to labour for God!
♦ “suprisingly” replaced with “surprisingly”
Tuesday, September 22. I was again employed in reading and correcting, and had the same success, as the day before. I was exceeding weak; but it seemed to refresh my soul thus to spend my time.
Wednesday, September 23. I finished my corrections of the little piece forementioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful: it seemed as if I had now done all my work in this world, and stood ready for my call to a better. *As long as I see any thing to be done for God, life is worth having: but Oh, how vain and unworthy it is, to live for any lower end!
Friday, September 25. This day I was unspeakably weak, and little better than speechless all the day: however, I was able to write a little, and felt comfortably. Oh, it refreshed my soul, to think of former things, of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to him! “Oh my dear God, I am speedily coming to thee, I hope! Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be thy blessed will: Oh come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen.”¹
¹ This was the last that ever he wrote in his _diary_ with his own hand: though it is continued a little farther, in a broken manner; written by his brother Israel, but indited by his mouth.
September 27. He felt an unusual appetite to food; with which his mind seemed to be _exhilarated_, as a sign of the very near approach of _death_. He said upon it, “I was born on a _sabbath-day_; and I have reason to think I was new-born on a _sabbath-day_; and I hope I shall die on this _sabbath-day_; I shall look upon it as a favour, if it may be the will of God that it should be so: I long for the time. Oh, _why is the chariot so long in coming? why tarry the wheels of his chariot?_ I am very willing to part with all: I am willing to part with my dear brother John, and never to see him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord. Oh, when I go there, how will God’s dear church on earth be upon my mind!”
*Afterwards the same morning, being asked how he did? he answered, “I am almost in eternity: I long to be there. My work is done: I have done with all my friends; all the world is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, _praising and glorifying God_ with the holy _angels_: all my desire is to glorify God.”
During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he seemed to continue loose from all the world, as having done his work, and done with all things here below, having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul should take its flight, and go to a state of perfection, of holiness, and perfect glorying and enjoying God. He said, “That the consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him.” He from time to time spake of his being willing to leave the body and the world immediately, if it was the will of God. He also was much in expressing his longing that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ’s kingdom here might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to leave the _earth_, and should not with his eyes behold the desirable event. He said to me, one morning, “My thoughts have been employed on the old dear theme, _the prosperity_ of God’s church on _earth_. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God’s Spirit, and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom, which the dear Redeemer did, and suffered so much for. It is that especially makes me long for it.”
He once told me, that “he had formerly longed for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the church, and hoped they were coming: and should have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God: but (says he) I am willing it should be as it is: I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand worlds.” He expressed on his death-bed a full persuasion that he should in _heaven_ see the prosperity of the church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing to his mind.
He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of _ministers_; and expressed his longings, that they might be _filled with the Spirit of God_; and manifested much desire to see some of the neighbouring ministers, whom he had some acquaintance with, that he might converse freely with them on that subject before he died. And it so happened, that he had opportunity with some of them, according to his desire.