Saturday 5. I went to bring home my little child from my mother-in-law’s. On the road I called to see a neighbour, who asked for my husband and mother. I said, without thinking, they gave their service to her. But how was I surprised, as soon as the words were out of my mouth! I cried to God for pardon, yet continued in heaviness all the day, and at night was almost afraid to go to sleep. In the morning, while several of us were at prayer, it pleased God to set me at liberty.
Tuesday 8. I had great freedom in prayer with my friends, before I came away. I had a solemn sense of God all the way home, admiring his wisdom and greatness and goodness in all his works. But I am afraid, when I said, “Put the best cloth on my pillion, not the maid’s,” lest there should be pride in it. If there was, Lord, take it all away, and save me from it for the time to come!
Friday 11. I was much out of order in body, yet happy in soul. But at noon I spoke a word unadvisedly, which afflicted me much. The Lord pardon me, and give me power to watch over my every thought, and word, and action!
Saturday 12. This being the fair-day, was a time of much hurry: but, blessed be God, I was kept in peace. And often I enjoy blessed communion with God, and can, as it were, grasp my Saviour with earnest affection. Indeed he is precious to my soul. He is all I desire in earth or heaven.
Sunday 13. Thinking of going to _Truro_, I cut a piece of oil-case, and pinned on my bonnet, to keep off the rain. But it came to me soon after, “Have not you been doing work on the Lord’s-day?” I was affrighted, and cried to God: and quickly his peace flowed back into my heart.
Tuesday 25. I was assaulted by a strong temptation to lightness. But, glory be to God, I was not overcome. Afterwards I was roughly accused, for speaking a word that was not took well. If I sinned therein, may the Lord humble me for it, and teach me to guard my words. May I live no longer, but to adorn the gospel of God my Saviour.
Friday 18. I was tempted to set my heart on our garden. But I cried for help and was delivered. I hope to use both this, and every thing else, with a single eye to the glory of God. Blessed be God, I have solid, settled peace; and find my heart enlarged, to promote his glory as far as lies in my power. May he assist me, and keep me to the end!
Saturday 19. Glory be to God, I see and feel my own weakness more and more. My soul is greatly drawn out after God, for a larger measure of grace. O may I be throughly
“Willing to receive, What thy goodness waits to give!”
Tuesday 22. This has been a day of trial, even from my nearest friend. But, glory be to God, I have been kept in peace; though without Christ I cannot stand a moment. I long to be nearer Christ, and to have a more awful sense of God’s presence in my ♦worldly business. Lord, take away the spirit of forgetfulness from me, and let me set thee always before me.
♦ “wordly” replaced with “worldly”
Friday 25. I was waked this morning by the cries of my little child, who was very ill. I asked the maid to get up, and light the fire. She was unwilling, and spoke quick. I answered quick, “I wonder you can lie by the child, and hear him cry so.” Immediately I felt a danger of anger, and stopped short, glory be to God.
Saturday 26. I kept my bed most part of the day, and was likewise heavy in spirit, and had hardly any power to pray. But in the evening I was greatly comforted, in thinking how glorious the change would be, _when this mortal_ would _put on immortality, and death be swallowed up in victory_.
Monday 28. My little boy continued exceeding ill: I was quite resigned concerning him, only desiring it might please God, to ease his pain, either by life or by death. But I want more patience: I want a more feeling sense of the sufferings of our Lord, which he endured for _me_, though he knew no sin. And shall I, who deserve hell, complain of any thing?
Saturday November 2. My child being very unruly, I had a struggle to avoid anger in correcting her. May the Lord enable me, to keep my watch every moment; otherwise I cannot but fall.
Monday 4. This has been a blessed day of communion with God, particularly in private prayer. And yet I feel sin and Satan always near. But I find Christ nearer still.
Wednesday 6. Glory be to God, my whole desire is, to know more of myself, and more of God: to see more of God in every thing, and to be filled with a deeper awe of his constant presence.
Thursday 7. Blessed be the Lord for patience, under the unkind treatment of my nearest and dearest friends. I have been this week much drawn out in prayer, for the souls of all people. But I longed most of all for the prosperity of _Sion_, and that the Lord might ever reign supreme in mine own heart.