Tuesday 12. Some part of the day, I was dull and heavy; till I cried to the Lord, and he quickened me. In the afternoon, when the maid spoke, I felt lightness flashing on me as quick as lightning. But the Lord lifted up his standard against it: and it went as quick as it came. May he keep me from it as from the greatest of sins; for indeed there is no little sin in the sight of God.
Wednesday 13. This has been a day of strong prayer, and God has blessed me in a glorious manner. Yet the powers of darkness surrounded me in private prayer, so that sometimes I was almost afraid. But I cried to the Lord, and he refreshed my soul; and I could say with dear confidence, _Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil_.
Monday 18. I spoke a word unawares, which I was afterwards afraid, was not true. Then it came to me, “Where is your clean heart now?” But immediately I cried to God, “Lord, give me power to watch over my words, and always to think before I speak.”
Wednesday 20. Blessed be God, he has kept me this day also, and refreshed me with the showers of his grace. Yet the enemy questioned my evidence, and said, it was only justification which I experienced. But I know him to be a liar from the beginning. Afterwards, in the hurry of business, he strove to sow peevishness in me: but I begged the Lord to keep me from it, and he heard me.
Saturday 23. I was heavy in soul, and had many profane words brought before me. Sometimes also it was suggested, “Thou wilt destroy thyself:” at other times, “Thou hast committed the unpardonable sin.” The Lord keep me in the hour of temptation, and from the hour of temptation!
Monday 25. This was a blessed day to my soul. My mind was solemnly stayed on God. All the clouds were dispersed, and the sun of righteousness shone upon me again.
Tuesday 26. Our leader not coming, I was desired to lead the band. It was a cross to me, for fear I should not discharge my duty. But the Lord gave me a word to speak to each, and power to wrestle for them in prayer. Yet at night, I had much reasoning, whether I had spoken right; and then it was suggested, I had done well. The Lord give me power to flee from pride, in every kind and degree!
Thursday 28. Blessed be God, Christ was exceeding precious to me this morning. O what love had I for Christ! The Lord fill me with love every moment!
Saturday 30. I find my short-comings daily, and am amazed at the goodness of God. I was much distressed this evening, because, ♦I did not take up my cross, and give thanks after tea, though we had strangers. The Lord pardon me for it, and make me bolder for the time to come!
♦ “did” replaced with “I did” per Errata
Tuesday, December 3. Blessed be God, he raised me up to hear his word. And it was spirit and life to my soul. O what has he done for me, a sinner? He has saved me from guilt and from in-bred corruption, and has filled me with love. Now let _patience have its perfect work_!
Wednesday 4. Pride has presented itself to-day: but I looked unto God, and there was nothing in me to join with it: glory be to his name! I found great love to my sisters, and to some in particular. Sometimes I think, whether it is only a natural love: but I am soon assured, I love them only for Christ’s sake. Indeed my heart is inlarged toward all mankind; though particularly the people of God. But I want more faith and patience. I want to be more humble and meek. O may I be all like a little child!
*Friday 6. I used abstinence; and mourned, that I could not deny myself more. When I think, what my Lord suffered for _me_, what a little is it, to suffer the loss of an ordinary meal for him? O may it be _my meat and drink, to do his_ blessed _will_ on earth, as it is done in heaven!
Saturday 7. I advised with some of my friends, about dressing meat on Sunday. So I dressed meat to-night for our dinner to-morrow, according to their advice, and resolved hereafter (whoever was pleased or displeased) to obey God rather than man. I had afterwards some sharp words concerning it: but _a soft answer turned away wrath_.
Tuesday 10. We had sharp words again to-day, but, glory be to God, I had patience. I did not make any reply, and found nothing but love in my heart. May God give me the whole mind which was in my blessed Lord!
Thursday 12. Amidst the troubles and trials of the ungodly, I had the refreshing springs of my Lord’s love and grace. At night I was dull and sleepy before family-prayer: but then the Lord quickened my soul. I have been begging of him to-day more faith, more watchfulness, more humility: more understanding in his word, more knowledge of Satan’s devices, and power to shun them at the first approach. And O may he wash my best performances in his precious blood! May I still take great delight in the law of the Lord, and _keep his commandments with my whole heart_!