Wednesday 29. Blessed be God, Christ has been exceeding precious to me to-day. O how my heart was enlarged to poor souls! If I could have my liberty, I would spend all the time in the service of God, and have nothing to do with the world. Yet I see my own helplessness more and more, and that it is of pure love I am out of hell.
Friday 31. To-day I had a solemn sense of God, while I was in my business, and had much watchfulness over my words, saying continually in my heart, “_The_ Lord _sees me_!” Glory be to his name!
Monday, February 3. Glory be to God this has been a solemn day to my soul. In the evening my poor M―――― raged greatly: but I was enabled to stand in the hour of trial.
Sunday 9. Blessed be God, my evidence was as clear as the shining of the sun. Yet in the evening I was much tempted by the enemy, causing many wicked oaths to pass before my mind. But in the midst of all I could rejoice in God, knowing in whom I had believed.
Monday 10. Blessed be God, I desire nothing, but to drink deeper and deeper of his spirit. I see my evidence clear; but I see more and more of my own weakness, and long to live more to his glory. I am jealous over myself, because I do not rise in the morning as I used to do. Surely it is not because I shun the cross: for I do love him with all my whole heart. May he deepen his work of grace in my soul, and stamp his whole image upon my heart!
Friday 21. Two men coming in, one of whom was in drink, as we were going to drink tea, I thought it would be more form than devotion, to ask a blessing openly. So I shunned the cross. But I suffered for it afterward. The Lord be praised, that he did not enter into judgment with me, but gave me time to draw near him through the Son of his love. May he make me more fruitful for the future.
Saturday 22. I was twice tempted to-day to anger in the shape of zeal. But I saw the snare, blessed be God, and fled from it. In the evening I was much distressed with wandrings in the public service: all which I believe, proceeded from my omission yesterday. The Lord help me to watch and pray more, lest I enter into temptation!
Monday 25. At the love feast, I was in pain most of the time, longing to break through: and yet I could not declare what God had done for my soul. The Lord pardon me for my omission! I believe he is deepening his work in me. He does _sit upon_ me _as a refiner’s fire_.
Thursday 27. Glory be to God, he discovers more and more of his love, to me the unworthiest of his creatures. Yet, I doubt, I was not so watchful as I ought, some part of this day. And I fear, I lay in bed too long this morning. The Lord help me to use more violence to myself!
Monday, March 3. Glory be to God, I enjoy perfect peace amidst the storms of an ungrateful world. In trials from the world, and trials from them of my own houshold, he is my strong hold, to which I always resort. Yet I find the company of the world a great burden, when I am obliged to be with them in my business. I want power to reprove them more. The Lord help me in this also!
Thursday 6. Glory be to God I am amazed when I think of his goodness and my unworthiness. How did he bless me this evening at the room? I found I was all light in the Lord. How pure has he made my heart through faith! It is all of grace, free grace. This was a day of trial: but, blessed be God it was no trial to _me_, because the Lord took off the burden. Only I was concerned for their souls. Lord, save them, for thy dear name sake!
Monday 10. Glory be to God for the blessings of this day. O how did he bless me this evening? I wept to see the goodness of God in Christ Jesus toward me and all poor sinners. I find indeed a busy foe. But his grace is sufficient for me. I have my evidence still clear. The Lord give me to pray always: make me thankful, keep me humble, and keep me to the end!
Thursday 13. I was attacked with a light spirit to-day, which I dread and abhor. And all the company was assaulted with it at the same time: but the Lord sent us help in the time of need.
Friday 21. I rose to the preaching this morning, though my body complained. Still, in the midst of trials, my desire is, to know more of God and to live nearer to him. I had peace all this day, and power to look to God, in all the hurry of my business. Glory be to his holy name, for all is blessings, temporal and spiritual.
Sunday 23. I was much grieved at church, to hear people mocking God, by saying what they do not believe, and what they will flatly deny, as soon as they are out of church. It made me doubt, whether I ought to go to church or not? But I considered, I am not to look to them: I am to look to God only.